In Love with your Str8 Mate! What do u do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 4:30 PM GMT
    Got this friend from work close to known him for nearly a year, we get on well similar interests n both go to the gym together after work, gotta admit was attracted to the guy at first then that developed into a really good friendship, I have no idea if he knows about me at all but there have been moments where I possibly think he could be Bi, still really good friends with him but what do u do when u find yourself developing feelings for a friend that is str8 and may not have a clue that am gay, what can I do or what should I do? Anyone have some advice they can give??
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 06, 2013 4:32 PM GMT
    Sex reassignment surgeryicon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidSex reassignment surgeryicon_lol.gif


    Haha if only that would work, joke man but what would u do joe?
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    Feb 06, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    mr_ngt saidGot this friend from work close to known him for nearly a year, we get on well similar interests n both go to the gym together after work, gotta admit was attracted to the guy at first then that developed into a really good friendship, I have no idea if he knows about me at all but there have been moments where I possibly think he could be Bi, still really good friends with him but what do u do when u find yourself developing feelings for a friend that is str8 and may not have a clue that am gay, what can I do or what should I do? Anyone have some advice they can give??
    Cope with it as best you can. I'm dealing with the same issue and it's extremely painful.

    Tell him you're gay and see how he reacts for starters. If he's your really good friend, he should accept you and be supportive. If he doesn't, then he's probably not your friend.

    If he's ok with you being gay, you have to make the choice of whether to admit to him how you feel. Unfortunately, most straight guys struggle with finding out their gay friend has feelings for them. It will either destroy your friendship, or at least make things awkward for awhile while you both deal with it. Hope your friend is one of the rare straight guys who aren't offended by it and won't ditch you when they find out. I'm fortunate in that my first and strongest crush on a straight friend didn't turn him away, it made our friendship stronger.

    Your only other option is to not tell him you have feelings for him and hope you can get over it, or just live with it.
  • HottJoe

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    Feb 06, 2013 4:55 PM GMT
    mr_ngt said
    HottJoe saidSex reassignment surgeryicon_lol.gif


    Haha if only that would work, joke man but what would u do joe?


    Honestly, I'd be friends but not try to manipulate him or anything. You have to find someone you like who is gay. You'll be happier in the long run if you do.
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    Feb 06, 2013 4:55 PM GMT
    If he's truly your friend, then he's not going to care that you're gay. Whether or not you choose to tell him about your feelings is up to you but again, he shouldn't have a problem, be flattered and continue to be your friend. Your scenario happened to me in college with a fraternity brother. I told him about my sexuality and how I had a crush on him. I reminded him that I knew he was straight and it was wishful thinking. Our friendship grew from there and he asked me to be one of his groomsmen for his wedding.
  • HottJoe

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    Feb 06, 2013 4:57 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidIf he's truly your friend, then he's not going to care that you're gay. Whether or not you choose to tell him about your feelings is up to you but again, he shouldn't have a problem, be flattered and continue to be your friend. Your scenario happened to me in college with a fraternity brother. I told him about my sexuality and how I had a crush on him. I reminded him that I knew he was straight and it was wishful thinking. Our friendship grew from there and he asked me to be one of his groomsmen for his wedding.


    ...and that's when you explained that his fiancée already asked you to be a bridesmaid.icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 06, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    HottJoe said
    Erik101 saidIf he's truly your friend, then he's not going to care that you're gay. Whether or not you choose to tell him about your feelings is up to you but again, he shouldn't have a problem, be flattered and continue to be your friend. Your scenario happened to me in college with a fraternity brother. I told him about my sexuality and how I had a crush on him. I reminded him that I knew he was straight and it was wishful thinking. Our friendship grew from there and he asked me to be one of his groomsmen for his wedding.


    ...and that's when you explained that his fiancée already asked you to be a bridesmaid.icon_lol.gif


    I know....but he asked first and all I kept on thinking was how fab I'd look with stilettos. icon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif
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    Feb 06, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    First off, if you worked with him for that long he may already know.. and if not, just casually mention something that will clue him in. I often will talk about my ex's and then refer to them as either he or him. I also reference known gay bars. But I wouldn't get your hopes up, it may just be a bromance and if not, do you really want to be the first queer relationship or co-worker/gym buddy? I wouldn't, but that is just me.


    Good luck and don't do anything that may regret.
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    Feb 06, 2013 5:24 PM GMT
    Cheers for some of the comments so far, some how he may already know Facebook being Facebook everyone seems to know everything, he is on my Facebook and I do have a good amount of gay friends on there and he has followed alot of my activity on there with few of my gay mates commenting on status updates pictures n all that, but my mate did make few comments about a song being "our" song but I took that more as a joke and sent a recent text with a X at the end, not sure if he's knows and is trying to tell me somethin or maybe it's just his way of trying to get me to tell him, I maybe lookin too much into this but somehow u can tell by the way someone looks at u and smiles that possibly there could be more to it?
  • allatonce

    Posts: 904

    Feb 06, 2013 8:51 PM GMT
    Finally a thread with a topic that we have never discussed before!*

    *Except for always
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    Feb 06, 2013 9:05 PM GMT
    allatonce saidFinally a thread with a topic that we have never discussed before!*

    *Except for always


    Hahahaha icon_smile.gif

    On topic: stop having thoughts about straight guys. Start having thoughts about gay guys. Problem solved.
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    Feb 06, 2013 9:32 PM GMT
    bus9ja2d said
    allatonce saidFinally a thread with a topic that we have never discussed before!*

    *Except for always


    Hahahaha icon_smile.gif

    On topic: stop having thoughts about straight guys. Start having thoughts about gay guys. Problem solved.
    Oh, if only it were so simple.
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    Feb 06, 2013 9:37 PM GMT
    Fiyero27 said
    bus9ja2d said
    allatonce saidFinally a thread with a topic that we have never discussed before!*

    *Except for always


    Hahahaha icon_smile.gif

    On topic: stop having thoughts about straight guys. Start having thoughts about gay guys. Problem solved.
    Oh, if only it were so simple.


    It is! This is what I don't understand. How many people are genuinely not attracted to any gay guys?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    Simply. Take your mind off of him and focus on guys who are attracted to the same orientation...This isn't a sitcom.
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    Feb 06, 2013 9:57 PM GMT
    just do what i did...

    go out with him for a night of bar hopping, make your way to the gay bar, entice him with your seductive dance moves, then go back to his place and fuck his brains out

    fmoGWft.gif
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 06, 2013 10:27 PM GMT
    ^^
    yup.
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Feb 06, 2013 10:35 PM GMT
    I've noticed that in those circumstances the dude is bisexual and can be very romantic because it's like you can possibly be gay with this person while at the same time feeling connected to the heterosexuality majority and not like you are some how inherently inferior for being gay.

    But a gay/bi forming a romantic liaison can get messy. The bi guy can easier hide behind the straight world and not have to 'come out', putting the gay man in the more powerless position. This can also happen between gay/gay or bi/bi male couples too of course but the gay/bi kind of gives it this natural pure headstart.

    Also it might put the bisexual guy in a disadvantage, struggling with his feelings while the gay man annoingly plays therapist/Oprah to the bi guy. They often say "I don't know man male intimacy feels nice but to start a life with a man? Ew."

    I've seen that happen 2343242734 times. It takes balls to be gay in an objective way not like in this dream world. And so the gay guy who is out of the closet is brave, risking a lot of hurt.

    There's also teeter-tottering in and out of the closet. Ping ponging. One day they tell people they are gay, the next they are straight again - and they were just experimenting and being curious. The truth is they want power more than they want to be in a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2013 10:45 PM GMT
    bus9ja2d said
    Fiyero27 said
    bus9ja2d said
    allatonce saidFinally a thread with a topic that we have never discussed before!*

    *Except for always


    Hahahaha icon_smile.gif

    On topic: stop having thoughts about straight guys. Start having thoughts about gay guys. Problem solved.
    Oh, if only it were so simple.


    It is! This is what I don't understand. How many people are genuinely not attracted to any gay guys?
    I'm not attracted to most people in general it seems. I work in probably the gayest industry in the world. Everyday, I'm surrounded by at least a few gay guys. In 2 years, only one of the gay guys have I been the slightest bit interested in.

    In my whole life, I've only had 2 strong emotional connections with people. Both are my straight best friends.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    I'm going thru the same thing with my trainer/bud. I'm almost positive he's bi. This is probably what you should do: get shitfaced drunk with him and take it from there.. icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 07, 2013 12:37 AM GMT
    GimmeMore saidjust do what i did...

    go out with him for a night of bar hopping, make your way to the gay bar, entice him with your seductive dance moves, then go back to his place and fuck his brains out

    fmoGWft.gif


    Haha cheers that could be a plan and prob might work.

    Sometimes u can't help who ur attracted to or develop feelings for so for the ppl who said its simple just be attracted or find gay guys it ain't that simple, and yeah isn't a sitcom either as these situations do happen in the real world not just tv.

    Even tho I do have feelings for the guy and want him to be bi or gay which is more just wishful thinking but a few other work colleagues/friends also do think he may swing both ways, maybe best to start of with telling him that I'm gay perhaps after few drinks then see what happens with his reaction n take it from there
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    Just accept the fact that he's straight and isn't attracted to you, and carry on as platonic friends. He likes girls...it's just a preference. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    OP. he knows.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 07, 2013 4:42 AM GMT
    He's knows you're gay bud.
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    Feb 07, 2013 4:55 AM GMT
    midwesternman saidJust because he's straight and you want him to be gay doesn't automatically make him bi. Lol

    There must be plenty of gay cock u can get. So don't pine over a straight guy ;)


    if it wasnt u lmao