Who here has actually been discriminated aganst because they were gay?

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    Oct 02, 2008 6:35 AM GMT
    Has anyone here ever been discriminated against because they were gay? Hurt with any physical harm? Or even felt like they were oppressed in anyway due to their sexual orientation? I have never really felt that in my life before and wanted to know if it is still a real problem in America. I mean we have all hear the horrible acts of violence or discrimination on tv but the media can take things out of control sometimes. Has it happened to anyone here on this site?


  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Oct 02, 2008 6:47 AM GMT
    Never. At least as far as i can remember. But then again i live in Toronto.
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    Oct 02, 2008 6:56 AM GMT
    There's this annoying bitch at work who will tell me about the shoes she bought and go into great detail about how they look... The only reason I can see she'd tell me is because i'm gay... she wouldn't tell any of the other guys that shit.

    Other then that nooo.. called a fag a couple times between grade 8-11 but since I came out its been nothing but love icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 02, 2008 7:09 AM GMT
    i was in a movie theatre with my then bf, and this guy kept staring at us, and we kissed once, and he went and told the movie staff that we were like, naked and having sex in the back row of the movie theatre.

    then at the end of the movie he just got up, walked twords us, stared at us, and then walked out. but he waited after we walked out and he followed us to our car.

    it was scary, and i may be little but im no one to fuck around with. i can take care of myself. living in a redneck community in wisconsin, it wasnt the first time. but thats the most memorable.
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    Oct 02, 2008 7:21 AM GMT
    It definitely happens still. About 3 or 4 times I have had people shout slurs at me while coming out of know gay establishments. A few times they threw stuff that fortunately did not hit me.

    Here is a link of hate crime statistics
    http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/hc2006/incidents.html
    here is an example for 2006:

    Sexual-orientation bias

    In 2006, law enforcement agencies reported 1,415 hate crime offenses based on sexual- orientation bias. Of these offenses:

    * 62.3 percent were classified as anti-male homosexual biased.
    * 20.7 percent were classified as anti-homosexual biased.
    * 13.6 percent were classified as anti-female homosexual biased.
    * 2.0 percent were classified as anti-heterosexual biased.
    * 1.5 percent were classified as anti-bisexual biased. (Based on Table 1.)
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:25 AM GMT
    I've had dozens of guys try to beat me up, usually in groups of two and three and the occasional scary loner who tries his luck.

    Its mainly happened because i haven't given a damn about how straights feel and am just my self.

    One though, I got my arse handed to me pretty badly cause my then boyfriend held my hand in a shopping center, we were followed out to the car park, three guys went for us, thankfully I stood my ground long enough until cops arrived but still, arse handing like no other.

    Another was on oxford street (well actual on a side street), but thugs tried for me and a mate.

    While I've been rocking out the music walking down the street hehehe, Hell I can't help if, some songs just make my gay arse really move icon_biggrin.gif sorta a give away.

    plus other times that aren't really interesting, I think I attract the stupid ones! icon_twisted.gif
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:29 AM GMT
    yes, of course. ive had police officers come into my workplace (a cafe) and tell me i had a decision to make and bring leviticus 20:13 into the store (yes he brought the book) and had quite an ordeal with that. and whenever i leave the city theres always the "dont flaunt" your sexuality by doing things like hold your boyfriends hand in public statements. and i live in the SF bay area! um, also the california prop 8 anti gay marriage thing. i feel directly and personally discriminated against. ive also been beaten up before. so yes id say its definately still a relevant issue
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:43 AM GMT
    As of July 31, 2008 about 1,436,642 people are on active duty in the military with an additional 848,056 people in the seven reserve components.

    Assuming that 10% of the general population is gay and also assuming that the military is a reflection of society, I would venture that 5% of the above numbers are gay servicemen and women.

    If my assumptions are accurate (or even close), then without question, 114,235 men and women are being discriminated against each and every day for being gay through the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.
  • johnnybravo79

    Posts: 22

    Oct 02, 2008 8:46 AM GMT
    Yes I applied for a job once and the manager send me to another location and when I got there, the other manager told me she had sent me there because "people like him dont belong in my area".
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:59 AM GMT
    As an adolescent, I was a boy scout. I worked hard and became an eagle scout. After that I became a leader, volunteering time, helping kids with merit badges. Then I tried to help change the BSA's policy and was kicked out.
    It is still legal for private organizations (which is an argument in of itself) to discriminate against GLBT people.

    I have also been assaulted for being gay.
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:00 AM GMT
    i have been really lucky

    i get the usual bashing at school, but i throw it right back in their face, ten times harder

    the worst that i have ever had (which is not bad at all compared to the other stories i have read on this thread and past ones) was when i was walking on a sidewalk, and guys in a car drove by and threw coins at me, lucky for me they were dumb enough to throw them at me when i was walking past the only parked car on the street, most of them hit the car, tho some did hit my arm and neck and i felt another one brush my eyelashes
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    Oct 02, 2008 12:10 PM GMT
    I have been fired from a really good job for being gay, after 6 years of excellent ant superior ratings on my performance reviews. This was 1999 and I was in Dayton, OH, working for a large engineering company whose name starts with a "W"....I should have known then!

    I was beaten up pretty badly in Ft. Wayne , IN. I had just accepted a city job and had just come out of the medical facility from my pre-employment physical. 2 guys were waiting by my truck and snuck up on me, knocked me down and proceeded to kick, punch and stomp on me, til passers-by come over to stop them. I got treated for my injuries and got in my truck to drive home...and the same guys were following me and chased me around the city. At several points they cut me off on I-69 and threw cinder blocks at my truck. Bashed my new truck up pretty bad.....I called the police and they wouldn't help, because the truck the guys were driving had a temp tag. I was told that a temp tag in IN is not very easy or accurate to trace or locate a vehicle by.
    I got help again from some bystanders and a State Farm Agent in Ft. Wayne. Got my truck repaired back to drivable shape. I drove back to Columbus, called the Ft Wayne City HR office and my soon to be new boss and declined the job. I told them what happened and they were audibly stunned.......I have never been back to Ft. Wayne since 2000.

    Have had slurs yelled at me a few times, but nothing ever comes of it.....Make NO MISTAKE....ANTI-GAY HATE and DISCRIMINATION IS REAL and STILL EXISTS! Be careful out there.
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    Oct 02, 2008 12:38 PM GMT


    Yes we have. Here in Canada no less. The police and lawyers tell us the people that harassed us were part of a low percentage of the population, but that didn't make us feel a whole lot better.

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    Oct 02, 2008 1:36 PM GMT
    I got expelled from Uni, because I would defend gay rights, yes you read right. Some students in the class took acceptation to this because of their religion. They tried to silence me, and that did not work. So the complaints rolled in, and I just would not back down.

    Now I could of taken the easy way out, and said nothing, as I don't as a rule wear my sexuality on my sleeve. There were two dyke's in the class, and another young guy. Non of them come to bat for me, because they did not have the balls, and seen what was happening to me. Oh this was in the past 10 years. People would get upset I was talking about my sex life, and I never do that. I was talking about sexuality.

    I also had my hours dropped. My man had just gone home to Russia, and I was devastated. I met a nice looking guy, and we become friends. He fell in love with me and this was the last thing I needed. He then started with the mental mind fucking shit, to manipulate me, to get his way. This was not working, so then He tried to force himself on me ever chance he got, and expose himself, did not work either. I was not looking for sex or another relationship, Shit the last thing I needed was a triangle.

    I talked about this at work, and I got this women scream at me. stop talking about you sex life. I had never talked about my sex life. Some-one I loved had gone home to Russia, and I was being harassed, and sexually assaulted. Oh peter was 10 years my junior. Not long out and on the scene, and I was the first guy he meet he went gaga over, and all the other guys at the bar we drank at were going gaga over him. shit he was under 30 tall and dakd and very good looking. But I was not looking.

    My hours were dropped from 40 a week to 3. To force me to go, leave. With money in the bank, this did not work. It went to Equal Opportunities, gees what a long process, and got my hours back,and a nice cheque too.

    I have never been bashed or harassed outside of this. I am able to drink in bikyers bars, to redneck pubs, and not stand out, or be harassed.

    It was only because I spoke out, trouble come my way. But I've become stronger for it.

    In my 20's I used to walk around the City of Melbourne holding hands with one of my mates, and no-one ever said a thing, or gave us trouble, and we did do this to push the envelope. But no-one ever took the bait.

    Being myself. My sexuality does not give me any grief in the str8 world.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 02, 2008 1:47 PM GMT
    I was fired from a part-time job at a framing store when the owner found out I was gay.
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    Oct 02, 2008 1:51 PM GMT
    Absolutely! By my FAMILY!
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 02, 2008 2:04 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle said
    Timberoo saidI was fired from a part-time job at a framing store when the owner found out I was gay.


    Shall I shoot him for you Marsupial Man?

    It was 18 years ago. I'm over it. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 02, 2008 2:12 PM GMT
    the pouch is handy for a lot, though
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1766

    Oct 02, 2008 2:15 PM GMT
    Yeah, as a matter of fact I just came out of court today for that very reason... getting compensation money for it, so that was a major 'fu' to the guy.
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    Oct 02, 2008 2:37 PM GMT
    A few family members no longer deal with me after I came out. No serious physical threats on the streets, though sometimes crude insults yelled from passing cars.

    And one gay club I frequented had shots fired through the front window, but fortunately for me just hours before I arrived. No one was injured.

    Cars in that parking lot were sometimes vandalized with broken windows or "keying" the paint, and one got "fag" and such painted on it. It's brave lesbian owner defiantly refused to have it removed, and drove it all around town that way, and got a write-up in the newspaper, too.

    But my last 4 motorcycles and this Vespa have never been bothered, despite all of them having displayed gay pride items on them. Stuff like rainbows, Equality stickers, rainbow license frames, Pride & PFLAG buttons, etc.

    I even rode 3 of those bikes to the annual motorcycle rally in Sturgis, SD, over a period of several years, wheeled up and down the main street, parked there, and nobody even seemed to notice (too drunk, probably). Plus I'm not sure how many straights really know what all that Pride stuff is, anyway. Even had some on my leathers there... LOL!!!

    But one of the weirder incidents involved a high school student in 2004, a senior in my US Political Science class. I never revealed or discussed my orientation or party political beliefs with the students, since both might have caused complaints from parents. And really, I thought I needed to appear neutral on political topics in the classroom, anyway.

    One day I was moderating a classroom open discussion of current news events that each student presented, when someone introduced a news item about gay rights. Almost immediately a young man started loudly railing against evil gays, actually thumping a Bible while he did so (he always seemed to carry one).

    His justification for such hatred was the Bible's "teachings" that said gays would burn in Hell, and they shouldn't be allowed any rights until they renounced their ungodly ways (pray away the gay?). I remained calm and quieted him down, making no comment of my own but asking the other students for their opinions on these viewpoints, which was our normal routine.

    Knowing my students I was pretty sure how they'd reply, and indeed they came down on him really hard, so that I found myself protecting HIM against nasty personal attacks. The young women were the most vicious, and I finally had to terminate the discussion before things turned too ugly.

    That summer following graduation he left to do missionary work in Canada. So if any of our Canadian brothers here got slapped around by a Bible at about that time, it might have been him. LOL!!!
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    Oct 02, 2008 3:04 PM GMT
    patna7: “yes, of course. ive had police officers come into my workplace (a cafe) and tell me i had a decision to make and bring leviticus 20:13 into the store (yes he brought the book) and had quite an ordeal with that. . . . and i live in the SF bay area!”

    I had the same experiences in the bay area. In Palo Alto, several times I had people drive by shouting “faggot!” at me (I was very flamboyant back then). Once, though, I was dressed fairly conservatively and it happened anyway, so I suspect it might have been the same people over and over (Palo Alto is a hamlet it’s so small).

    I’ve had two more serious experiences. The first time was the worst, and I hate discussing it but… It was in high school, after driver’s ed (which was on my HS campus) on a weekend, and this random guy I had never seen before or since pushed me against a wall and kicked me several times, and called me fag. I don’t actually know if he though I was gay or not, since I was very religious, conservative and in-the-closet at the time, so it might not have been a hate crime (people that age use “fag” and “gay” just as catch-all insults). I’ve had some ongoing health consequences as result. I thought it was God trying to tell me I shouldn’t be gay.

    The second time wasn’t as bad. It was in Boston, and I was leaving a club to find a taxi, walking down Summers St. This car with three or four guys pulled up next to me and drove slowly with me as I walked. They taunted me, but what was different about this drive-by was its length – they stayed with me the entire length of Summers St., which is fairly long. I was really afraid they would come out and attack me, but they didn’t.
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    Oct 02, 2008 3:06 PM GMT
    Living in the middle of the "Bible Belt" you would think I would have experienced this more. In the last 10 years there have only been maybe a handful of times I've felt discriminated against. A few times in college, because the guys didn't know me or what to do with the info. A few times in the work envrionment, mostly by employees but usually when they were upset. And a few times in the bar scene, due to "backwoods rednecks" with alcohol.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Oct 02, 2008 3:10 PM GMT
    I think once in L.A. years ago I was leaving a gay club with a group of friends and a car load of guys drove by and yelled "F-A-G-G-O-T". It took years of counseling, and I still have nightmares about it, but I'm getting better. I take it one day at a time icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 02, 2008 3:42 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidThat summer following graduation he left to do missionary work in Canada. So if any of our Canadian brothers here got slapped around by a Bible at about that time, it might have been him. LOL!!!


    I'm sure the raging closet case got to know some of us Canadian bros pretty well.. in and out of the bed.
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    Oct 02, 2008 4:06 PM GMT
    It's been a long time, but...

    * Back when I had a rainbow flag on my car, I had teenagers throw a half-full bottle of soda at my car, while screaming slurs. They sped off while I was stuck in the turning lane. (About twice a year, I would have people yell slurs at me like that, but no one else threw anything.)

    * I had a hate message left on my home answering machine once. This was during the don't-ask/don't-tell national discussion... the Atlanta Journal-Constitution had published a letter I wrote them, in which I rebutted the points of one of their columnists, using only the information in her own column. Some reader apparently looked me up in the phone book to leave me that message.

    * But my best story actually has a very positive ending... I'll make it short:

    In one of my early jobs after college, before I was out at work, I had a manager who was very homophobic. He would wander around openly saying things like "AIDS is the fault of those gays -- they all deserve to get it and die"...

    Well, during the time I worked for him, a middle-eastern man who had been a long-time employee with the company decided to resign. It turned out that he was resigning because he felt that he was being treated like a second-class citizen in the group.

    Well, this same manager who was always making homophobic remarks was horrified that anyone would feel like a second-class citizen in his group. He called the entire team together and told us all that nothing should ever get to the point that someone would feel like leaving without him knowing it, and he told us to please come tell him if there was anything that was bothering us.

    So... I took him at his word. I went and told him that I was gay, and that his comments bothered me. I told him that I wasn't going to try to change his mind about gay people, but I wanted him to know so that he could at least avoid making those comments around me.

    He was very apologetic, and promised that it would never happen again. In fact, I ended up getting raises and promotions while working for him. I think it was one of those cases where he thought he didn't know anyone who was gay. Once I game out to him, he could no longer say such terrible things without knowing that he was wishing these things on me... someone he knew and got along with. It changed his whole attitude.