First Impressions.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 7:57 AM GMT
    Everyone always says that the first impression is the most important. That how you look and act the first time you greet someone will determine how your future dealings with them will play out.

    How much importance do you place on a first impression? Do you decide on who you will and won't socialize with purely on their first appearance? Do you let them talk, get to know them a little, or is it a one shot deal?

    I found myself judging someone solely on their appearance today, and I was thoroughly disappointed in myself. My first reaction was to either ignore them or just only talk politely with them. After talking with this person, I found that I truly enjoyed hearing their views on various topics and think that we will have a good friendship.
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:34 AM GMT
    never judge, give everyone the benefit of the doubt, usually those that get rejected out of hand have the most interested conversations and those I accept straight off the bat are like everyone else I know.

    mm anywho, thats how I handle it.
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    Oct 02, 2008 1:32 PM GMT
    Depends on how much information I get during that initial meeting. The less info the less likely will I form an opinion.

    And my opinions can be tentative, again depending upon many variables about the person, and what kind of vibes they're sending out. Though I like to think I'm a pretty quick & accurate "study" of people, so yes, I can place importance on first impressions, especially if I have to decide soon whether to have further dealings with them in some way.

    But I'll change my mind if proven wrong, or the persons themselves change over time.
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    Oct 02, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    I won't necessarily go on appearance (although just like any homo I can say some bad stuff in my head about they way some looks!!!) however I will go on their vibe/energy and what my 'gut' tells me about someone before a pass on someone.....
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    Oct 02, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    We all use first impressions. We can't avoid it.

    If I walk into the first day of class to find every available seat is next to another student I'm going to do a quick judge and decide who I want to sit next to.

    And even in life first impressions can tell more than a weeks worth of conversation. If you pick me up in a dirty car filled with grime and trash I'm pretty sure I can hit with accuracy what your living habits are like. I don't need to come home to know a mess or a rapidly thrown aside organized mess is waiting.
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    Oct 02, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    I agree we should be careful not to judge too quickly. It just depends on the circumstance and context. If someone intends to put their best foot forward, I feel OK making an assessment sooner than if it's a surprise or unexpected encounter. Putting aside we should always be putting our best foot forward, sometimes a gurl just has a bad day and you meet them at the wrong time. We've all been there.

    At the end of the day, it's about their energy and disposition. A good person with a good heart will manage to convey that regardless of their wardrobe or circumstances.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Oct 02, 2008 5:47 PM GMT
    Small talk, for the most part, annoys me. While I CAN hold my own, it's so bloody repetative. Eg. Sitting online in gay.com (chatting, not looking) its the same fucking thing over and over again. "Hi - How are you? - What are you up to? - How's the night going? - What brings you online? Why're you bored? purple monkey dishwasher etc" Online, have something to say - I can carry a conversation, but if someone isn't contributing than I'm not all that interested in carrying on our one-sided conversation in PERSON.

    mind you, that's online. Sometimes it's to be forgiven.

    IRL...again the whole small talk thing. I don't like to do it, mainly because...I don't care. I really don't. I'm a cold, aloof kind of guy who thinks a lot more than he speaks. Most of the time the majority of my thoughts are not on the social situation (unless I'm on a date, but that's somewhat different) and unless something in the conversation catches my interest enough I'll generally let the loudest person talk. Unless they're an idiot. Then I call them out.

    Regardless of how far I keep people, they tend to like me right off the bat. I like to think its because I'm big and scary so people prefer to be on good terms with me, but it's probably because I really am a nice guy, lol. Though as my buddy's dad said about me during the bachelor party - "Don't fuck with the biggest man in the group."
    icon_biggrin.gif

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 02, 2008 6:05 PM GMT
    I wouldn't say that I am harsh, but I just get a feeling about people when I meet them. Some I relate to easily and find them easy to talk to, others I don't.
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:49 PM GMT
    I try not to place a huge amount of importance on first impressions

    Afterall, most of the people I meet are HUMAN, and humans are NOT perfect--even if the are trying to put on a good impression.

    Shit happens... Moods/emotions change. I like to get to know someone before I "judge" them--let them explain their actions/views or why they smelled like cabbage the first time I met them.
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:40 PM GMT
    I TRY not to base my opinions on first impressions. if you give them a chance, a lot of the people you meet are actually awesome, even some of the ones you think at first 'ew'...BUT...i WILL keep my distance on someone if he;
    1. stinks! the exception is if he just got done working out, but other than that, take a shower and wear good cologne if youre gonna meet someone!
    2. you can sence he's a little homophobic. but then that can work to my advantage; either scare him away by suddenly "dropping the pearls" or... give him afew drinks and see what happens...icon_twisted.gif
    3. his attire. Yes, i am snobby!!! but if we're gonna meet for the first time, dont wear; dirty clothes, denim shorts, pleated, wrinkled khakis, dirty shoes, graphic tees with decorated denim, polos with the collar turned up, baseball caps worn backwards.....
    Yeah, im a snob. eh...
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Oct 05, 2008 2:56 AM GMT
    First Impressions aren't the live and end all

    BUT...
    a first impression will be either what will Attract or repel other men to you or from you