"I've got plans", guys on hookups sites

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:37 PM GMT
    Could someone explain the gay "code" for this remark.. Guys hit on me.. They tell me how hot they think I am. I kindly respond, "thanks", and ask them if they want to meet up.....Boom. Their answer, "Sorry I've got plans" Why the fuck did they hit on me? Why are they on the site if they have plans?
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:50 PM GMT
    I dunno man, I wish I had the time to answer this but I've got plans.
  • B71115

    Posts: 482

    Oct 02, 2008 8:55 PM GMT
    At the same time they hit on you, they hit on three other guys. They either already agreed to meet the first one to show interest, or the one they considered the hottest.
    As women often say, men are pigs. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 8:56 PM GMT
    Happens often--not to me, I'm uglier than a stick--to other guys too.

    My guesses of why they don't want to meet (though I am in no way an expert on gay hook-ups):

    1. Underage

    2. Feel too Old

    3. Faker

    4.Just into cyber (

    5. Religious leader

    6. They smell like cabbage.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:04 PM GMT
    Quite simply...

    Chicken shits and cannot follow through!!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    A lot of guys online are more about the chase. It's all a game. The moment you show interest, they've "got" you. Actually meeting up and having sex isn't the goal. They just want to know they could with you if they wanted to.

    Just be sure they really want to hook-up. I've gotten in touch with guys online for nothing more than friendship. Guys I'm not attracted to at all. We just have something in common or something. However, it seems a lot of people just assume you're hitting on them if you contact them online. Maybe you could be misunderstanding why they're contacting you. They could have no intention of hooking-up. Maybe they just find you attractive or want to say hi.

    Then again, who really knows what goes on in the minds of gay men? Straight men think they have it bad trying to figure women out!
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:10 PM GMT
    Damn, are you guys jaded or what??

    Did you ever stop to think that maybe they were just paying you a compliment, and that they actually DO have plans previously made for that night BEFORE they paid you a compliment? What ever happened to benefit of the doubt?

    I tell guys all the time that I think they're attractive, etc, but it doesn't I want to meet them right that moment. Another time? Sure! But you have to give them the chance to even want to do it another time, which it doesn't sound like you are.
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:11 PM GMT
    You'll want to consider yourself fortunate to be through with anyone who would pull this sort of stunt on you. If it ever happened to me - I would move on so fast - thinking "Good riddance, and thank you, Pal, for saving me time and energy."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:27 PM GMT
    If you answer "yes" too quickly, you might get them thinking you are too easy or a slut.

    LOL, but if they really are just greeting and admiring you and you suddenly ask them too hook up with you. Maybe they weren't even being kind to you for that reason. Perhaps it is you that has other plans that they simply don't share.

    I imagine you don't agree, but in the future, maybe a longer conversation is needed to determine if everyone is indeed as horny and indiscriminate as you are when utilizing social networking sites.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 02, 2008 9:44 PM GMT
    Next time, after they say I've got plans, say "oh? I thought maybe you'd like to come over and have sex." My guess is they don't want to meet up, they don't want you to come to them, they just want sex, at your place, in the dark.. If they say "oh, ok", then tell him to go fuck himself.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Oct 02, 2008 9:45 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidCould someone explain the gay "code" for this remark.. Guys hit on me.. They tell me how hot they think I am. I kindly respond, "thanks", and ask them if they want to meet up.....Boom. Their answer, "Sorry I've got plans" Why the fuck did they hit on me? Why are they on the site if they have plans?


    All you need to know, really, is "Men Are Pigs" icon_lol.gif Oink Oink!!!
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:00 PM GMT
    Frankly, those sites are a waist of time. I hate dealing with all that crap. So, on the rare occasion...and trust me it's rare, I post an ad on Craigslist.org. I'm always very specific about what I want and don't want.

    You get a shit load of emails from dudes you don't want anything to do with but ya also get one or two that are really decent, hot and masculine.

    Try that instead of manhunt or the like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:26 PM GMT
    i would think that craigslist is sleezier and more into hook-up s than manhunt.
    I just looking to make masculine friends. no pressure

    Devildog78 saidFrankly, those sites are a waist of time. I hate dealing with all that crap. So, on the rare occasion...and trust me it's rare, I post an ad on Craigslist.org. I'm always very specific about what I want and don't want.

    You get a shit load of emails from dudes you don't want anything to do with but ya also get one or two that are really decent, hot and masculine.

    Try that instead of manhunt or the like.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:37 PM GMT
    Not sure hookup sites are the best place to find just friends?
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:43 PM GMT
    So where then? ...If i could get invited to one party..i 'd have it made in the shade..


    innerathlete saidNot sure hookup sites are the best place to find just friends?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:50 PM GMT
    Alpha13,

    From your post, it doesn't sound like a "just looking for friends" type of conversation! If a guy tells you you're HOT and you proposition him to meet, one would only assume that you're interested in something that would be reliant on HOTNESS! And being that you're on a hookup site, I would assume that this "something" would be sex.

    Craigslist is just as sleazy as any service offering other people with the means to access sex. However, on craigslist, you are less likely to meet guys that would be willing to have their credit cards charged for such a service. You meet a wider variety of men. Also, you don't have to contract your self for x-months to access the full features of the service.

    It's the best way to go if you aren't invested in constant hookups and the pursuit of other men.

    You post your ad, get responses and then delete the damned thing. If ya don't find the right guy once, try again with a different ad some other time. It's straight forward and less committal.

    Also, Craigslist has a "Strictly Platonic" section. I have found hiking, biking and workout partners through that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 10:57 PM GMT
    All these are good answers but I think it may have something to do with intimidation and being afraid that you might turn them down. Alot of guys online aren't as they describe and then use a pic thats not recent either.

    I think they like the chase and being flirtatious but when it comes down to actually backing it up with someone like you they might fear rejection.
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    Oct 02, 2008 11:00 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidSo where then? ...If i could get invited to one party..i have it made in the shade..


    innerathlete saidNot sure hookup sites are the best place to find just friends?


    I have made friends without even trying by doing my work out of a coffee shop. You're in San Francisco - I'm sure there are tons of coffee places/cafes predominantly frequented by The Gays. Pick one you like and start going there with some regularity when you have the time - do some work, read the paper, people watch - if my experience is any indication, you'll start making friendly new acquaintances left and right. It's actually not uncommon to get online messages from guys saying they saw me at the coffee shop and recognized me from my profile. It's a much surer bet than manhunt. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 02, 2008 11:51 PM GMT
    unfortunately i have to work for a living....cutting down my hang out exposure.So hook up sites are usefull in that rrespect


    innerathlete said
    Alpha13 saidSo where then? ...If i could get invited to one party..i have it made in the shade..


    innerathlete saidNot sure hookup sites are the best place to find just friends?


    I have made friends without even trying by doing my work out of a coffee shop. You're in San Francisco - I'm sure there are tons of coffee places/cafes predominantly frequented by The Gays. Pick one you like and start going there with some regularity when you have the time - do some work, read the paper, people watch - if my experience is any indication, you'll start making friendly new acquaintances left and right. It's actually not uncommon to get online messages from guys saying they saw me at the coffee shop and recognized me from my profile. It's a much surer bet than manhunt. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2008 12:02 AM GMT
    K, I'm gonna be a right little c*nt and just put this thought right out there...

    I make assumptions based on your profile here.. but, perhaps since you don't show your face, they think you perhaps could possible be a butterface.

    Just a though...
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    Oct 03, 2008 12:08 AM GMT
    palikari saidI dunno man, I wish I had the time to answer this but I've got plans.

    Lmao....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2008 12:12 AM GMT
    I know when I give this reason I really do have plans. Example: Someone wanted to 'hang out' tomorrow night. I've got a friends birthday party going on until who knows what time in the AM, so I told him I was busy.

    Other then that, maybe they're not really who they're presenting themselves to be...?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2008 12:36 AM GMT
    Alpha13 saidunfortunately i have to work for a living....cutting down my hang out exposure.So hook up sites are usefull in that rrespect


    innerathlete said
    Alpha13 saidSo where then? ...If i could get invited to one party..i have it made in the shade..


    innerathlete saidNot sure hookup sites are the best place to find just friends?


    I have made friends without even trying by doing my work out of a coffee shop. You're in San Francisco - I'm sure there are tons of coffee places/cafes predominantly frequented by The Gays. Pick one you like and start going there with some regularity when you have the time - do some work, read the paper, people watch - if my experience is any indication, you'll start making friendly new acquaintances left and right. It's actually not uncommon to get online messages from guys saying they saw me at the coffee shop and recognized me from my profile. It's a much surer bet than manhunt. icon_smile.gif


    I am not sure what you mean by having to work for a living (who doesn't?) - plenty of people manage to work in an office and still find time to hang out in the world. If it's important to you, you'll prioritize it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2008 12:41 AM GMT
    You hit it square on man."Have plans with friends" is right up there.....but why in the fuck are they hitting on me to tell me that. The worse case is a guy that actually phoned when I was eating dinner alone ...he asked, "Are you eating with friends?" I wanted to say,"yeah I have been trading emails with u for 4 days about getting together for dinner cus I'm had plans to eat with my "friends".

    Gwgtrunks saidI know when I give this reason I really do have plans. Example: Someone wanted to 'hang out' tomorrow night. I've got a friends birthday party going on until who knows what time in the AM, so I told him I was busy.

    Other then that, maybe they're not really who they're presenting themselves to be...?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 03, 2008 12:53 AM GMT
    Alpha13,

    Don't even speculate about what their reasons are! Who gives a rats ass? If they're oh so busy and too busy to give you the time of day...fuck em! From your pics you look like a really well put together guy. And besides, you're 50 years old...too grown up to worry about some dickheads on manhunt.

    I gave ya some advice to try craigslist. There are also lots of sports leagues, hiking groups, etc for gay/bi men. If you do anything like that in your life routine, hiking etc., than you can take the time to try out one of those clubs once.