>> Best 1st Impressions

  • tomchadwin

    Posts: 26

    Feb 09, 2013 5:27 PM GMT
    I want to make a good, respectable impression for someone I'm going to be meeting in person for the first time.

    We both know what we look like but when we meet I want to tastefully highlight a few of my qualities. So:

    1). Do you think it would be arrogant of me to *passively* mentioned that I went to an Ivy League school and that I work as a lawyer?

    2). I don't think I have the best face, but I have a good body and kind of want to tastefully show it off a little. It is winter and snowing out. Would I look stupid if I wore just a T-shirt at the restaurant we are meeting even though there is like 2 feet of snow outside? (Obviously I'll be wearing a jacket when we walk outside)... but I'm talking about when we are sitting down having our meal at a local, low-key place? Sweaters just make me look "chubby".

    Sorry to sound a little lame. But thanks for your advice. I'm out of practice when it comes to dating.
  • FitGwynedd

    Posts: 1468

    Feb 10, 2013 1:23 AM GMT
    tomchadwin saidI want to make a good, respectable impression for someone I'm going to be meeting in person for the first time.

    We both know what we look like but when we meet I want to tastefully highlight a few of my qualities. So:

    1). Do you think it would be arrogant of me to *passively* mentioned that I went to an Ivy League school and that I work as a lawyer?

    2). I don't think I have the best face, but I have a good body and kind of want to tastefully show it off a little. It is winter and snowing out. Would I look stupid if I wore just a T-shirt at the restaurant we are meeting even though there is like 2 feet of snow outside? (Obviously I'll be wearing a jacket when we walk outside)... but I'm talking about when we are sitting down having our meal at a local, low-key place? Sweaters just make me look "chubby".

    Sorry to sound a little lame. But thanks for your advice. I'm out of practice when it comes to dating.


    For number 2 there is nothing wrong with wearing a T-shirt. For number 1 I would find it a major turn off but I am a socialist and rather contentious about those things, so I can't predict how someone else would react. In all fairness I am extremely nosey due to my Welsh nature and would pry it out one way or another though.
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    Feb 10, 2013 1:34 AM GMT
    tomchadwin saidI want to make a good, respectable impression for someone I'm going to be meeting in person for the first time.

    We both know what we look like but when we meet I want to tastefully highlight a few of my qualities. So:

    1). Do you think it would be arrogant of me to *passively* mentioned that I went to an Ivy League school and that I work as a lawyer?

    2). I don't think I have the best face, but I have a good body and kind of want to tastefully show it off a little. It is winter and snowing out. Would I look stupid if I wore just a T-shirt at the restaurant we are meeting even though there is like 2 feet of snow outside? (Obviously I'll be wearing a jacket when we walk outside)... but I'm talking about when we are sitting down having our meal at a local, low-key place? Sweaters just make me look "chubby".

    Sorry to sound a little lame. But thanks for your advice. I'm out of practice when it comes to dating.

    Since I too went to an Ivy League school and am a lawyer I feel called to respond to this one.

    1) No no no. Don't lead with your resume. Start out making the usual date conversation -- mutual interests, mutual compliments, things you enjoy doing. Clearly what you do for a living will come up but don't make it the centerpiece of the evening unless your date seems genuinely interested. Even then, don't go on about it. And mention your alma mater only if he asks.

    2) How about a fitted sweater over a fitted T? Show off a little but retain a modicum of professionalism. After all he is going to find out what you do at some point so dressing like a gym trainer will cause cognitive dissonance. .
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    Feb 10, 2013 1:44 AM GMT
    Most people are going to ask what you do, so saying you work as a Lawyer is easy. I wouldn't bring up the school unless he asks (doubt anyone really cares).
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Feb 10, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    tomchadwin saidI want to make a good, respectable impression for someone I'm going to be meeting in person for the first time.

    We both know what we look like but when we meet I want to tastefully highlight a few of my qualities. So:

    1). Do you think it would be arrogant of me to *passively* mentioned that I went to an Ivy League school and that I work as a lawyer?

    2). I don't think I have the best face, but I have a good body and kind of want to tastefully show it off a little. It is winter and snowing out. Would I look stupid if I wore just a T-shirt at the restaurant we are meeting even though there is like 2 feet of snow outside? (Obviously I'll be wearing a jacket when we walk outside)... but I'm talking about when we are sitting down having our meal at a local, low-key place? Sweaters just make me look "chubby".

    Sorry to sound a little lame. But thanks for your advice. I'm out of practice when it comes to dating.


    OK.
    1. I wouldn't recommend "passively mentioning" you went to an ivy league school. If he asks you specifically "what school did you attend undergrad?" or law school, whatever, then yes, tell him. But don't just "mention" it out of nowhere. Typically, first dates are usually all about getting to know eachother, asking questions, etc... So, naturally I think your date will probably at the very least.....ask what you do for a living....of which u may mention that you're an attorney....no biggie... But the ivy league school thing? I mean, who cares? I dont think that will make u appear more "desireable"... or attractive.. You need to focus on being confident, comfortable, easy-going, maybe a little funny, keep a good convo going, throw in some compliment to ur date and see how he responds. Going to an ivy-league really doesn't matter if the "vibe" is off, right?


    2. a Tee-shirt is fine, I guess. Keep in mind he may say something to you, probably in a joking manner "having hot flashes?" or "a tee-shirt in a blizzard...interesting"....who knows. He may say nothing at all, but dont be too surprised if he mentions something about u wearing a tee-shirt in Feb during a blizzard. I know I would. lol


    Good luck on your date and let us know how it goes.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Feb 10, 2013 3:21 AM GMT
    Leave some mystery. Just dish out the basics and if he inquires for more details then give it to him. That way he can be pleasantly surprised when he finds stuff out. Things though like where you went to school and your occupation will come out regardless. It is a frequent topic of discussion on dates and getting to know guys.

    As for your body, leave that a mystery. There is always a time and a place to show it off. I think its hot when you catch a glimpse of the guy you like shirtless when the original intent of him taking his shirt off isnt to show off. Like when I change after volleyball. So save it for later. If you have an awesome body then its worth seeing the other guy get super excited when he is the one taking it off for you.

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    Feb 10, 2013 3:23 AM GMT
    I wouldn't overthink this whole process this much.
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    Feb 10, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Just be yourself! Your confidence is all you need to make a good first impression!
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    Feb 10, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    Id be cautious about over advertising shallow qualities. Do you really want someone who's primary reason for dating you is an ivy league education, successful career and nice body? I'm sure you have a lot of other really great qualities and its important to highlight those during your first date. Id focus more on just showing them a good time and seeing if you're compatible. Remember, they are probably just as nervous as you are.
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    Feb 10, 2013 6:13 AM GMT
    Was the date tonight? How did it go?

    Wear a slim-fit shirt:

    slim-fit-shirt-blue.jpg

    That way you're not a slut, and he can see your physique.

    Do not mention your job or education unless he asks. And only answer if the question is politely directed. If it's a "whose dick is bigger" kind of thing, decline to answer.

    Incidentally, if there's a question about dick size, tell him you're a lawyer.
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    Feb 10, 2013 6:21 AM GMT
    Yeah, how did the date go?
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    Feb 10, 2013 6:37 AM GMT
    S34n05 saidMost people are going to ask what you do, so saying you work as a Lawyer is easy. I wouldn't bring up the school unless he asks (doubt anyone really cares).

    Qft.

    Don't care about shirt, though.
  • tomchadwin

    Posts: 26

    Feb 10, 2013 6:45 AM GMT
    Thank you everyone who replied. I'll take all of your advice: keeping the conversation light and fun, not mentioning my school or work (unless he brings it up), and I'll go with a light cashmere sweater for my attire.

    I'm definitely looking for a potential long term relationship so I'll be as classy and confident as I can.

    The date is on Sunday (Feb 10th) in the evening for dinner. I will let you know how it goes. Thank you all again, guys.
  • tomchadwin

    Posts: 26

    Feb 10, 2013 6:50 AM GMT
    Please wish me luck.
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    Feb 10, 2013 7:26 AM GMT
    Start with not thinking you hve a bad face. Doesn't look that bad icon_razz.gif
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    Feb 10, 2013 7:28 AM GMT
    art90 said Doesn't look that bad icon_razz.gif


    Oh you charmer you
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    Feb 10, 2013 7:29 AM GMT
    tomchadwin saidThe date is on Sunday (Feb 10th) in the evening for dinner.
    OK I see. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you tomorrow.
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    Feb 10, 2013 7:37 AM GMT

    I think you've got a handsome face mate. The other advice I have has already been given.

    Luck to ya man
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    Feb 10, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    Nabisco said
    art90 said Doesn't look that bad icon_razz.gif


    Oh you charmer you


    Oh, I was just being silly. You look cute, Tom!
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    Feb 10, 2013 7:49 AM GMT
    tomchadwin saidI want to make a good, respectable impression for someone I'm going to be meeting in person for the first time.

    We both know what we look like but when we meet I want to tastefully highlight a few of my qualities. So:

    1). Do you think it would be arrogant of me to *passively* mentioned that I went to an Ivy League school and that I work as a lawyer?

    2). I don't think I have the best face, but I have a good body and kind of want to tastefully show it off a little. It is winter and snowing out. Would I look stupid if I wore just a T-shirt at the restaurant we are meeting even though there is like 2 feet of snow outside? (Obviously I'll be wearing a jacket when we walk outside)... but I'm talking about when we are sitting down having our meal at a local, low-key place? Sweaters just make me look "chubby".

    Sorry to sound a little lame. But thanks for your advice. I'm out of practice when it comes to dating.

    Yes and Yes.
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    Feb 10, 2013 1:45 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said Incidentally, if there's a question about dick size, tell him you're a lawyer.

    Evading awkward questions is a piece of cake to one with legal skills.
    Good luck!
  • tomchadwin

    Posts: 26

    Feb 11, 2013 3:12 AM GMT
    Hey guys. Thanks again. So the date went really well. All of you were spot on with the advice. We were actually seated close to the door at the restaurant so if I wore just a t-shirt I would have been cold and looked stupid/slutty. He did ask me what I did for work so I mundanely mentioned that I was a lawyer and then switched the conversation back to craft beer (we were eating at a microbrewery).

    He was very much a gentleman: opening doors for me, saying thank you, appreciated that I asked him out. Just really good bed side manners and soft-spoken. There was a quiet charm about him that admire.

    I got the sense that he liked me and wanted me to dictate the speed of things. For example, at the end of the night after we gave each other a hug this was the conversation:

    Him: I had a great time and I look forward to seeing you again.
    Me: Likewise, maybe we can do something next weekend if you are free.
    Him: I'd like that.
    Me: Do you want to try XX restaurant next Sat we talked about during dinner tonight?
    Him: Sure.
    Me: Great. I'll make reservations and text you during the week.
    Him: Alright. Thank you.

    Then we parted.

    I feel happy and excited. I don't want to ruin this because I would totally like him to be my boyfriend. Again, I don't have much experience in dating (I just came out to my parents a few years ago) and don't have a good sense of what I should do. Do you think it would be too forward of me to kiss him good night on the next date?

    Also, I know this has been discussed extensively, but when do you think we should have sex? And how should I go about it? I mean, asking him to "come up for coffee" at the end of the night just sounds lame to me... The *LAST* thing I want him to think is that I just want to get into his pants.

    Thanks again for your advice.
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    Feb 11, 2013 3:20 AM GMT
    If he asks what you do and for you to tell him about yourself, I think absolutely be truthful. You have to right to be proud of your accomplishments.

    As far as wardrobe, go with what makes you comfortable. - It's been years ago, but I had lost weight down to 151 pounds (which is too small for me), I had a men's navy blue cashmere sweater. It fit snugly and showed off my smaller frame. - I'm not saying wear a compression shirt, but if you have something like that - the point will get made. ;)
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    Feb 11, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    Glad to read about how well your first date went. Congrats. (Glad you nixed the t-shirt - - even in a micro-brewery - just doesn't seem quite right).

    As for your next questions about when to kiss..........maybe at the end of your next date. See how it goes. Are you walking him back to his place - or up to his door? That's a good time. Just get up to the door, and tell him you had a really good time again. Smile and just step in slightly and go for it. If you think the date went well, just assume he wants to kiss you too. Confidence!

    As for when to do the deed - - - - I'd hold off just a bit longer. Make it special. Savor it. You'll both know when it's time. If you go back to your place - - have it all organized - lights low - some candles (not too many) some strawberries & music ready to go. Fresh sheets / towels / you know the drill.

    Good luck. Let us know how that goes!
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    Feb 11, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    tomchadwin saidI want to make a good, respectable impression for someone I'm going to be meeting in person for the first time.
    Why?

    Just be yourself.

    If he doesn't like it, he can go fuck himself.