Love Thy Self

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    Oct 03, 2008 9:17 AM GMT
    There are many threads started by members who's topics boil down to one simple statement: I NEED LOVE!

    Now the common answer is, "you have all the time in the world. Learn to love yourself in the meantime and eventually, he'll find you."

    Two questions: What does this advice mean and how can it be accomplished? How can it be put into practice?

    Okay. Three questions. What if loneliness prevents emoboy from obtaining this self-love?
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    Oct 03, 2008 11:16 AM GMT

    I see who you aim to now ..


    First .. lot's of people .. especially gay teens feel different and ashamed .. sometimes they don't like themselves .. or don't feel like they worth something without someone coming and saying "you worth alot , you are amazing .. and hey look ! as a proove I'm in love with you !!"
    Trust me ,I'm not trying to be D.Phil , I know it from my own experiences ..
    You just keep "hating" yourself until someone tells you and prove to you that you are not "that" bad ..

    when you learn to love yourself .. see yourself as a complete human who has future , attitude and life you'll find out that you can be worthy without your other "half" to complete the empty space in you ..

    how can I explain it better ? we don't want this person to love himself only because someone else love this "self" .. and when he leaves him he'll take this self loving with him .. it should be stable and coming from the inside ..it has nothing to do with outer people who love or hate you..
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    Oct 03, 2008 5:10 PM GMT
    Simple. Be cliche about it.

    If you would spend your hard earned cash on your man by taking him out or buying him something nice...then do the same for yourself.

    If you would spend time with your man trying to impress him and making him feel special, then do the same for yourself.

    If you would give all of your effort to make him scream with pleasure and cum harder than he has ever cum in his entire life...then do the same for yourself.

    Bathe longer, relax longer, exercise longer, discover new things about yourself, say no to people who demand your time and energy, avoid negetivity, treat yourself to foods and drinks that you like, travel, shower yourself with gifts, read, get massages, masturbate passionately, and forget about everything else but you.
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    Oct 03, 2008 6:01 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle saidI don't think the key to loving yourself or anyone else for that matter is about indulging in materialistic exploits.


    AGREED!!! Someone will scratch, dent & maybe even crash that pretty little car of yours!!!
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    Oct 03, 2008 6:20 PM GMT
    Not sure if this is directly relevant, but I'll try with your indulgence.

    On the day I came out to myself, I faced an obvious dilemma: how to handle the fact that society said I should hate gays, pity them, avoid them, have no respect for them. But here I was a gay myself; should I hate myself for it?

    But I rephrased the question: who am I already, who have I been all my life? My answer was that I knew myself to be decent and good (well, not TOO good, after all... LOL!). But at least no bad person, no evil in me.

    So now I had a conflict: could I be gay but good? The existing formula was gay = bad, straight = good. The equation didn't work for me, so what was wrong?

    And in an act of rather egotistical defiance, I decided that the good in me was the constant, the known, and that society's values of gay versus straight were the variable, the unknown, and might be wrong.

    I was good, and I was gay. And so therefore, gay could be good. Not just for myself, but for other gays as well. Simplistic as this sounds, this was a cataclysmic change for my personal value system.

    And so I came to respect myself, and "love" myself as I was, more strongly than the forces that wanted to demonize and condemn me for being gay.

    More relevant to this thread, once that barrier had been passed, my love life blossomed. I was at peace with myself, proud of myself, not reluctant to present myself to other gay men as I am: good, guilt-free & happy. My life has been a paradise ever since.
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    Oct 03, 2008 6:33 PM GMT
    First things first. Stop calling yourself emoboy. All the implicit emotional baggage of that title keeps you stuck in your dusty apartment listening to lo-fi. And that isn't good for anyone's well being.

    If you are lonely and depressed, what I have found to be helpful is a brutal assessment. Find all the things, situations, meta-cognitions that drive you to depression. Then find away to work through them and don't let any slide. Hate your job? Find another. If you just wallow in hating your job out of fear you can't find another you are just making the problem worse.

    Sorry I don't have specific strategies for dealing with specific problems, but learning to deal with your own shit is a skill worth earning.
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    Oct 03, 2008 6:55 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle saidI don't think the key to loving yourself or anyone else for that matter is about indulging in materialistic exploits.


    If that is what you get from my post I'm pretty sure you are missing my point.

    However I agree with your statement. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Oct 03, 2008 7:34 PM GMT
    I loved myself twice last night. Sadly, I never called myself back the next day.
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    Oct 03, 2008 7:41 PM GMT
    RBY71 saidI loved myself twice last night. Sadly, I never called myself back the next day.



    ROFL
    Ain't love a bitch? icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 03, 2008 8:09 PM GMT
    RBY71 saidI loved myself twice last night. Sadly, I never called myself back the next day.


    LMAO!!! You are too silly! A man after my own heart. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 03, 2008 8:38 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidFirst things first. Stop calling yourself emoboy. All the implicit emotional baggage of that title keeps you stuck in your dusty apartment listening to lo-fi. And that isn't good for anyone's well being.

    If you are lonely and depressed, what I have found to be helpful is a brutal assessment. Find all the things, situations, meta-cognitions that drive you to depression. Then find away to work through them and don't let any slide. Hate your job? Find another. If you just wallow in hating your job out of fear you can't find another you are just making the problem worse.

    Sorry I don't have specific strategies for dealing with specific problems, but learning to deal with your own shit is a skill worth earning.


    mmm. Was this directed towards me?
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    Oct 03, 2008 9:47 PM GMT
    RBY71 saidI loved myself twice last night. Sadly, I never called myself back the next day.


    Your putting out far to quickly, you wont respect your self by doing that!
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    Oct 04, 2008 2:01 AM GMT
    ImTrying21 saidmmm. Was this directed towards me?


    yuppers
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    Oct 04, 2008 2:11 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie said
    ImTrying21 saidmmm. Was this directed towards me?


    yuppers


    Well the post isn't about me, its in general.
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    Oct 05, 2008 8:51 PM GMT
    ah, my bad. Answering questions like that require specifics. I mean, if there was a one-size-fits-all cure for social and emotional problems there wouldn't be any dysfunctional people out there (and we are all dysfunctional to a degree).

    Sorry about that.
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    Oct 05, 2008 8:56 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidah, my bad. Answering questions like that require specifics. I mean, if there was a one-size-fits-all cure for social and emotional problems there wouldn't be any dysfunctional people out there (and we are all dysfunctional to a degree).

    Sorry about that.


    If there were, I'd be out of a job. Then again, that might not be a bad thing.