got a work out buddy. kinda weird

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    I recently got myself a work out buddy.
    But I feel weird.

    1. He didn't bring a lock yesterday. So we shared the same locker.
    And many people saw us putting our bags, clothes into the same locker.
    Looked like a couple.

    2. He wanted to do every exercise together.
    We did chest press, pull up in turns. I had to wait to do my next set.

    3. He touched my chest, and other parts of my body several times.
    It's uncomfortable. I didn't expect that. Though I didn't get angry.

    I think I will work out by myself next time.
    I want to focus on working out, not making out.

    What you guys think?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 5:34 AM GMT
    gayusasian82 saidI recently got myself a work out buddy.
    But I feel weird.

    1. He didn't bring a lock yesterday. So we shared the same locker.
    And many people saw us putting our bags, clothes into the same locker.
    Looked like a couple.

    2. He wanted to do every exercise together.
    We did chest press, pull up in turns. I had to wait to do my next set.

    3. He touched my chest, and other parts of my body several times.
    It's uncomfortable. I didn't expect that. Though I didn't get angry.

    I think I will work out by myself next time.
    I want to focus on working out, not making out.

    What you guys think?


    1) he forgot his lock and doesn't want his shit to be stolen

    2) that's the point of having a workout buddy, to spot and have company

    3) he's pulling a move on you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 6:40 AM GMT
    I've never had a workout partner. I'm so used to doing it myself, the one time I tried doing it with a friend it totally threw off my rhythm of how I like things done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 6:42 AM GMT
    Also, I'm not sure what it meant when he touched your chest. He could have been just trying to be friendly, maybe he wanted to come onto you. Not knowing him it's hard to say.

    If he had all of a sudden started rubbing your crotch in front of all the guys in the gym there would have been no doubt about what his intentions were. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 7:52 AM GMT
    Tell him #YCYL (you cruise, you lose)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    One of the reasons for a workout partner is to spot, so waiting to do you next set so you can spot him is natural. You do rest in-between sets, don't you? My workout partners (two different guys) and I do it that way.

    As for #3, tell him that's a no-no, unless he is a personal trainer who is trying to explain some points of exercise biomechanics and physiology to you at your request.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 3:20 PM GMT
    Sounds like you dont want a work out buddy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    If he's making you uncomfortable don't workout with him anymore (or just talk to him about it).

    Everyone has their own formula for gym success and for me, I can never workout with someone right there. I hate taking at the gym (it's distracting). I just put my music in on high and zone out.

    If I need a spot i'll just ask someone random or benefits of being back in a small town for the summer is you always know someone at the gym that'll lend a hand.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 3:32 PM GMT
    I don't think you understand what a workout buddy is for, being you're upset you had to wait for him to finish his set. And sharing a locker doesn't make you a couple. You'll find yourself a lot happier if you don't concern yourself with what others might think of you. But on #3, you might have a point. My straight friends touch my body at times but it doesn't mean they want to fuck. However, this is something you have to judge for yourself. You can probably tell if it's inappropriate or not. If so, I'd have a talk with him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 3:37 PM GMT
    I can see how you might not wanna get touched by him. Just tell him, that it makes you uncomfortable. But besides that, what did you actually expect a workout buddy would be, if not a buddy to do your workouts with?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 3:59 PM GMT
    How did this "work out buddy" relationship get started? Friend? Stranger? Craigslist? Real Jock?

    Depending on this, I think the work-out buddy is defined differently, or at least the expectations can be different.

    But your description of the touching is vague. A knowledgeable workout buddy could be helping you with your form and this could be very valuable. If the touching seems to have no other purpose than to touch, he's making moves and although it may be cute, if it's not what you want then you should say so.





  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 4:16 PM GMT
    Ive never had on , since i workout at home. I was training an overwieght friend of mine and understand that sometimes you can slack of at the begining while you get used to him. And p.s is hecute lol?
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Feb 13, 2013 4:34 PM GMT
    My trainer and I are also friends and we workout together on the weekends. We take turns doing the same lifts, he's touched my chest and other parts of me in a playful way sometimes, and the first time we went, I didn't have a lock and used his locker. He's totally straight. I think you are over reacting a little.

    But trust your gut. If you aren't comfortable with how things are, you need to tell him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    gayusasian82 saidI recently got myself a work out buddy.
    But I feel weird.

    1. He didn't bring a lock yesterday. So we shared the same locker.
    And many people saw us putting our bags, clothes into the same locker.
    Looked like a couple.

    2. He wanted to do every exercise together.
    We did chest press, pull up in turns. I had to wait to do my next set.

    3. He touched my chest, and other parts of my body several times.
    It's uncomfortable. I didn't expect that. Though I didn't get angry.

    I think I will work out by myself next time.
    I want to focus on working out, not making out.

    What you guys think?


    I think you're 30 years old, a closet case, and it's time for you to grow up. Talk to him, if it's bugging you. It's called COMMUNICATIONS. I know, it's a big word, but, when you learn to communicate, you will find more success in all your relationships, professional, and personal.

    At 30, why on earth do you need a training partner? You can't lift on your own? I mean, really. Why do you want to deal with all his issues you describe above?

    Is he gay? Did you ask him? Have you told him? What is your expectation of a training partner? From here, he sounds like an even bigger sheep, and incapable of being independent, and, you don't like it, yet, you want a training partner. How clingy do you want the training partner to be.

    For crying out loud, get some communications skills. Talk to him.

    I never use a training partner and never need spots. I lift through a full range of motion in good form. Period. I don't need to deal with the noise that the partner brings to the gym. The gym is MY time. You can't have it both ways.

    Quit being such a whiner. Take it for what it is, talk to him, get some integrity, and, if you don't like training with him, end it.

    If you have expectations, and you should (like being on time, and not chit chatting), then, you should voice them, but, not here...there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    I think finding compatible workout partners is difficult. I think the sharing of lockers is a minor issue. Waiting for sets could be more frustrating, but understandable. Perhaps the issue is that you need a workout partner who is at a higher level. Some people like partners who are lower or equal in strength/fitness, but others like to have something to strive for in their workout relationships.

    The touching part is annoying, if not used in a productive way. I usually ask before touching. Sometimes you have to do it to show the muscles you are working or in spotting. I have dropped partners for many of these reasons (aka: random touching, talking with others between sets, and oggling people instead of keeping with the program). I say give it a week (after you address your concerns with him), and if it doesn't change... workout alone or find a new partner.

    I see finding a workout partner like dating in that it is a trial and error process. I happened to find a pretty good partner after having 6 or so in 5 years. Maybe try looking on here for a partner or Fitocracy. I would recommend looking at their workouts previous to agreeing to being partners. Good luck!


    icon_twisted.gificon_evil.gificon_twisted.gificon_evil.gificon_twisted.gificon_evil.gificon_twisted.gificon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 5:58 PM GMT
    I've only enjoyed one workout buddy and it was because it was educational.

    The gym is the only place where I don't have to talk to anyone, I can get hype, lift weights, run, do what I need to do, feel good about myself, and just take that feeling with me the rest of the day...

    I feel like from your post OP, that you don't really want a workout buddy. Just tell him that. I've had to with a few people. Just not gonna happen. If you don't really know him (not sure how you met him; do tell), then no harm.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    For me a workout buddy is only necessary for chest day. Other than that they slow me down.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 6:03 PM GMT
    Yup, same thing happened to me. Just ditch him and try another workout buddy. He should be there to push you hard and force you to do the final reps (and you should do the same for him).
  • pharmstudent

    Posts: 162

    Feb 13, 2013 6:38 PM GMT
    last wk this guy who I frequently see at the gym- asked me if I can squant him. I actually never had a buddy other than my brother so the whole touching, holding, even the close space was really hard for me to concentrate. Let just say blood wasn't flowing into my arms. jk. I saw him yesterday but I was scared to ask him if he wants to do more workouts.
  • ThatSwimmerGu...

    Posts: 3755

    Feb 13, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    Maybe a running buddy for me. For sure a climbing buddy. Outside of that no.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Feb 13, 2013 8:01 PM GMT
    Workout partners arent for everyone.

    I have had two workout buddies in the past, both straight.

    MARK

    Mark was the better of the two. He stayed focused and would keep us on track but he for some reason would make me laugh way too much, I would lose focus. I had to stop working out with him.

    JUSTIN

    A beautiful man to look at. He knew his stuff but he liked to flirt way too much with girls passing by or touch and grab me if I was doing something wrong and I am ticklish so we stopped working out together.

    -Mark claimed to be straight, but I proved that wrong. Still waiting on Justin :-p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    ManFromNJ saidHow did this "work out buddy" relationship get started? Friend? Stranger? Craigslist?





    Work place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 8:21 PM GMT
    yourname2000 said8470774521_727418260d.jpg

    Probably. If he's Daniel Robinson, I won't mid at all. Lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 13, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    This thread is very silly.

    At my gym people do assisted stretches with each other, partner leg raises, assisted chin-ups etc. The gym is one of those places where you have to touch people sometimes.

    Also, I find I work out quicker when I am swapping sets with someone because you feel obliged to go again as soon as they finish. If they are taking too long there is always the option to do a superset e.g. pressups in between chest press and dumbbell row in between pullups. A great way to start to break through a plateau if you don't normally do them.

    I'm not even going to comment on the locker thing except to say that I have 3 padlocks in my gym bag because of repeatedly forgetting mine, so I sometimes let my gym friends borrow one.
  • Latenight30

    Posts: 1525

    Feb 13, 2013 9:10 PM GMT
    How about open your mouth. If you are in a locker room together you are obviously comfortable around each other. Speak up!