Thinking about moving to Jacksonville... There are no Gays There... OMG! What do I do???!!

  • psustud

    Posts: 111

    Feb 13, 2013 7:11 AM GMT
    Okay, so I'm Joking.
    There are definitely gays in Jacksonville.

    It's just that when scoping the city out via the 'interwebs' I've notice that Jacksonville's gay "footprint" is almost non-existent!!


    An open search on the following sites produce abysmal results:

    Bigmuscle.com: 10 results (JUST **10** FREAKIN' profiles indicate Jacksonville as their primary resident)

    Realjock:
    Just 5 pages of results (profiles with pics)
    ...and by the time you get to the 3rd page you hit profiles that haven't logged on since "4/1/11"!!! UGGHH!!!!!



    VS. NYC
    (current home)


    Bigmuscle.com: 1013 results


    Realjock.com: 30 pages of results


    (I probably didn't need to go into NYC result details, but i thought it important to highlight the stark contrast).


    So here's the deal
    - A tremendous opportunity has been dropped in my lap that would *guarantee* me DOUBLE my current salary with great potential to go far beyond that in a city that might cost a fourth of what it cost to live here. I do just fine in NYC (I've managed to stay in Manhattan 5 of the 6 years I have been here), but double pay and much lower living expenses are both very VERY appealing.
    I'll also have the opportunity to work side by side with my very best and beloved college friends whom have been begging me to join them for over a year. They're the first str8 friends I came out to and they made me feel so very loved and appreciated back then.


    But then there's the gay issue!
    I live in the gayest city in the world and I already experience issues with finding "the one" I so desire with all my heart.
    How the heck can I live in a city that reduces my dating pool by 1000%???!!!!
    On top of that, how can I move to a city that offers (no offense) SOOOOOO much less than NYC.... a place where I feel I have the world at my fingertips and have made the most eclectic group of amazing friends (and might I add super successful and creative) that I absolutely treasure. I mean, honestly, if you don't live here (not just visit) you can't imagine the caliber of individuals you can connect with.


    WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY SITCH?
    (more than) Double pay and no play?
    or
    Stay where you are and love and let a tremendous opportunity go?

    I know there's a military base nearby... can I count on pulling some hot uniformed men out of the closet or what??? (Seriously)

    I have until June or July to make my mind up... it's going to drive fucking me nuts and leave me highly distracted for the next few months I know it!


    Need advice.
    Please HELP!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 7:19 AM GMT
    I don't think you should use BM or RJ as a measure of how many gays are living in a given city. You have to also remember that some/most guys don't enter a location in their profile.

    If money is important to you right now, maybe move to Jacksonville for a few years. Gives you a chance to save up some cash and experience a different environment. If your social/romantic life doesn't pick up by then, you can always move back to NYC with all that cash you saved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 7:19 AM GMT
    That's a tough one. If you give up your current NYC apartment most likely you'll never get it back. But Manhattan is so expensive. icon_confused.gif
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    Feb 13, 2013 7:22 AM GMT
    Which jacksonville?

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 2:51 PM GMT
    Oh man I'm sorry!!! I spent new years there this year and two years ago, and for a city its size there's really nothing to to do there period, gay or straight. There are 2 maybe three gay bars there and horrible. Your best bet is Orlando or Tampa which are just a few hours away. On the other hand, no state income taxes means even higher pay than before. I endured Hampton roads, Virginia for two years, you might actually enjoy it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 3:05 PM GMT
    When other gays start putting money in your pocket or advancing your career, thats when you need to consider their presence relevant to your decision to move. Until then, use some of your double earnings to travel more (where gays are).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 3:26 PM GMT
    Be the only gay in the village.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 3:39 PM GMT
    Visit the damn city. Figure it out.
    Ultimately you are going to be the only person that can truly know what you are going to like or hate about a new city.
    Moving away from NYC is a big change, doesn't matter where you are moving. So you need to experience what the new city offers and the pros and cons. Money is great, but it doesn't always make you happy!
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Feb 13, 2013 4:03 PM GMT
    I agree, visit the city and find out. Also living in a city like Jacksonville can improve your dating life, as people are not always trying to "trade up" like in a lot of the bigger gay cities.
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    I have lived in Jacksonville for 11 years. It may not be New York City, but we have a huge gay population. We are more integrated into society as a whole. You know the whole integration now, separation never kind of stuff. You're not going to find a lot of guys who are so caught up in the gay world that they are going to be rushing to the numerous online sites and apps. Besides that is a horrible way to judge a city.

    In regards to the financial situation, think of it this way. Think of all the traveling that you will be able to afford. That way if you hate the city then you can get as much as you want. Ft Lauderdale/Miami, Orlando/Tampa and Atlanta are all relatively short road trips.


    now, to the guy who said that there is nothing to do here.. well that is true if you are lazy . This is a beach and river city, there are shitloads of things to do that require physical activity, biking, running, surfing, kayaking, camping. We are the 5k capital of the country. We have mini-sprint tri-athalons. And if you don't like stuff like that, we have museums, restaurants, professional sports (albeit minor league), or just sitting on your ass shirtless on a park bench by the river/ocean in January while its 70+ degrees outside thanking God that you are not living in 2 feet of snow with below freezing temps. And in regards to bars, I work at one that is gay owned, heavily frequented by gays but by no means no longer a "gay" bar. We are just a bar, we have the hottest bartenders in town and if I don't say so myself we have the best music in town. But most in the city do not go out to bars. Grindr/Scruff/A4A have forever changed the bar scenes and not just here in Jacksonville.



    but in all seriousness to the OP don't have a hissy fit before you have even been here.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    Move to Jacksonville , and double your existing salary icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    Jacksonville Florida? With well over a million people?

    You'll be fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    neffa saidMove to Jacksonville , and double your existing salary icon_biggrin.gif


    Right?

    This should be easy. Money always wins.
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    and one more thing, please don't move to this city and then bitch about how much you hate it or it sucks... because we will have to tell you to get the fuck out. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    dudewithabeard saidand one more thing, please don't move to this city and then bitch about how much you hate it or it sucks... because we will tell you to get the fuck out. icon_biggrin.gif


    I think FuzzyPecs is the only one that does that
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    Feb 13, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    According to city-data...

    Here's what it looks like By Percentage (I've added other Florida cities where you could travel to on weekends for reference)

    Ordered by percentage...

    Wilton Manors FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.7% of all households
    •Gay men: 4.7% of all households

    Ft Laud FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.4% of all households
    •Gay men: 1.7% of all households

    Miami Beach FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.3% of all households
    •Gay men: 1.3% of all households

    NYC
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.4% of all households
    •Gay men: 1.0% of all households

    Orlando FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.4% of all households
    •Gay men: 0.8% of all households

    Tampa FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.4% of all households
    •Gay men: 0.6% of all households

    St. Pete FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.4% of all households
    •Gay men: 0.5% of all households

    Jax, FL
    Likely homosexual households (counted as self-reported same-sex unmarried-partner households) •Lesbian couples: 0.3% of all households
    •Gay men: 0.3% of all households

    Here's what it looks like by Population

    Ordered by years of tricking opportunities with strange

    NYC
    Population in July 2007: 1,621,897 @ 1.0% or 16,218 x 2 people per household = 32,436 gays off the market (and for fun reference, let's figure just as many still in play) So if you tricked once a day, you could go 88 years before you'd require repeat sex.

    Ft Laud FL
    Population in 2011: 165,900 @ 1.7% or 2820 x 2 = 5640, Enough tricking to last 15 years on top of the 3 years worth of Wilton sex right next door.

    Jax, FL
    Population in 2011: 822,883 @ 0.3% or 2468 x 2 = 4936 or 13 perfectly good years of tricking

    Tampa FL
    Population in 2011: 336,820 @ 0.6% or 2020 x 2 = 4040 That's 11 years of anonymous sex plus nearby St. Pete & Orlando for a total of 28 tricking years.

    Orlando FL
    Population in 2011: 238,902 or 1911 x 2 = 3822 or just over 10 years of airport bathroom stall sex.

    St. Pete FL
    Population in 2011: 244,683 @ 0.5% or 1223 x 2 = 2446 or almost a 7 year supply

    Miami Beach FL
    Population in 2011: 88,012 @ 1.3% or 1144 x 2 = 2288 or a 6 year supply of Latin strange.

    Wilton Manors FL
    Population in 2011: 11,659 @ 4.7% or 547 x 2 = 1094 You'll go through all of them in just under 3 years, hardly worth the effort.
  • silverfox

    Posts: 3178

    Feb 13, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    Not sure what to make of the statistics above me but fun!

    Hey, how many New Yorkers do you know that have moved out of the big apple and found happiness in a smaller city who had the same trepidation as you going into it?

    I would tend to think not many.

    I know you are thinking how does this affect "ME" but please don't move and become one of those DREADFUL ex-New Yorkers who constantly remind everyone and anyone how WONDERFUL it was in NY and how there are NO GAY MEN and how MISERABLE you are for moving. I feel that is the direction you will be going if you move sorry to say. Money isn't everything.

    I love it in Orlando, I used to live in the New York City area but this change of life is not for everyone. I wanted to leave the city when I moved here. Your head seems to be in a different place.
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    Feb 13, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    running11 said
    dudewithabeard saidand one more thing, please don't move to this city and then bitch about how much you hate it or it sucks... because we will tell you to get the fuck out. icon_biggrin.gif


    I think FuzzyPecs is the only one that does that


    ha!


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 5:23 PM GMT
    Most people who leave NYC can never come back and live in the style to which they'd grown accustomed, so the legitimate fear is being unable to afford to return or purchase a home, or at least as nice a place, here. If that's unimportant to you and unless this new, welcoming opportunity provides you with the experience and skill set to commensurately up your earning power upon your return - then it's a no-brainer and I'd say definitely go for it.

    As for gays in Jacksonville, just go shirtless - they'll find you. You might meet the right guy anywhere.
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    Feb 13, 2013 5:26 PM GMT
    illyriak2000 saidOh man I'm sorry!!! I spent new years there this year and two years ago, and for a city its size there's really nothing to to do there period, gay or straight. There are 2 maybe three gay bars there and horrible. Your best bet is Orlando or Tampa which are just a few hours away. On the other hand, no state income taxes means even higher pay than before. I endured Hampton roads, Virginia for two years, you might actually enjoy it.


    Not too far away and I'm sure every homosexual's dream

    http://www.daytonainternationalspeedway.com/?homepage=true
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    Feb 13, 2013 5:27 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 5:36 PM GMT
    Being from Florida, I'll give you my opinion:

    Jacksonville is a very up and coming city in Florida, its the Tampa/Orlando of North Florida. There are a few gays, not as much as the other cities I mentioned or Miami.

    Now think of it this way: with DOUBLE your salary, you'll have definitely at least DOUBLE the spending money. Not to mention, WAY less expenses. Rent is cheaper in Florida (especially jax compared to other cities).

    Jax has an international airport which is not too expensive to fly out of, especially when compared to regional airports.

    You're 2.5 hours away from Orlando, nice weekend trip! With all that leftover money, you can be going to ATL, Orlando, Tampa, and even Miami/Key West. Hell, you can fly there if you want to!

    I'm a college student and I can afford to travel at least once a month within Florida, I'm sure you will be able to do the same or more.

    And regarding finding a partner, if you haven't done so in NYC in the past 5-6 years, what tells you that you will sooner than later? Maybe a change of scenery is exactly what you need, and maybe Florida boys are more your type. Long story short, you never know what life has in store for you, so take a risk!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2013 7:21 PM GMT
    I live in Jacksonville...

    Jacksonville is the most populous city in Florida and the 11th most populous city in the US icon_cool.gif

    I say go for it and give Jacksonville a try. I have also noticed not a lot of guys from Jacksonville on dating sites, but maybe if you sign up for more dating sites you can find more guys that aren't on the other sites. lol
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    Feb 13, 2013 7:26 PM GMT
    tanbod saidBeing from Florida, I'll give you my opinion:

    Jacksonville is a very up and coming city in Florida, its the Tampa/Orlando of North Florida. There are a few gays, not as much as the other cities I mentioned or Miami.

    Now think of it this way: with DOUBLE your salary, you'll have definitely at least DOUBLE the spending money. Not to mention, WAY less expenses. Rent is cheaper in Florida (especially jax compared to other cities).

    Jax has an international airport which is not too expensive to fly out of, especially when compared to regional airports.

    You're 2.5 hours away from Orlando, nice weekend trip! With all that leftover money, you can be going to ATL, Orlando, Tampa, and even Miami/Key West. Hell, you can fly there if you want to!

    I'm a college student and I can afford to travel at least once a month within Florida, I'm sure you will be able to do the same or more.

    And regarding finding a partner, if you haven't done so in NYC in the past 5-6 years, what tells you that you will sooner than later? Maybe a change of scenery is exactly what you need, and maybe Florida boys are more your type. Long story short, you never know what life has in store for you, so take a risk!


    Your post honesty made me want to move to JAX lol
  • Kwokpot

    Posts: 329

    Feb 13, 2013 7:46 PM GMT
    silverfox saidNot sure what to make of the statistics above me but fun!

    Hey, how many New Yorkers do you know that have moved out of the big apple and found happiness in a smaller city who had the same trepidation as you going into it?

    I would tend to think not many.

    I know you are thinking how does this affect "ME" but please don't move and become one of those DREADFUL ex-New Yorkers who constantly remind everyone and anyone how WONDERFUL it was in NY and how there are NO GAY MEN and how MISERABLE you are for moving. I feel that is the direction you will be going if you move sorry to say. Money isn't everything.

    I love it in Orlando, I used to live in the New York City area but this change of life is not for everyone. I wanted to leave the city when I moved here. Your head seems to be in a different place.


    Adjusting to life after NYC will take several years, so you WILL need to give it that long and not get into the buyer's remorse syndrome.

    The FIRST thing you will notice is there's NOBODY around; it's DEAD HERE.
    You don't realize how the DENSITY of NYC affects your perception of things. The other thing you will notice is how shitty mass transit is in every other city and that you have to drive everywhere.

    I was born and raised in NYC and it's suburbs, lived my adult life from '83 to '06 in Manhattan, and I was THAT quintessential NY'er that viewed NYC just like that New Yorker Magazine cover(see below). Moved to Philadelphia in ''06 after being laid off in '04 and couldn't find any work. But for me that choice was easy, since I was able to take early retirement if I moved to a cheaper city. It has taken a good 3 years after moving for me not to long for Manhattan; I still get the NY Times and NY Magazine delivered. Bottom line, though, I don't regret my move for a second.

    I would have to say, though, that having a large gay community, AND a large GAY ASIAN community to boot, did make make me feel more comfotable to make that move.

    The_New_Yorker%2C_1976-03-29%2C_Cover_%2