SeattleGreenlake saidI'd rather not fall for someone who tells me he isn't seeing anyone else and then find out shortly after that he is seeing a lot of someone elses.... How do you guard yourself from that? Or, is it just wishful thinking? How do you know who to trust?
Don't give up so easily my friend! there is a secret weapon or plenty other types of ammunition that can help you keep your guard up, as well as it has worked for me, and those of us who have never ever being cheated or are tempted by it! the gun that holds the ammunition, metaphorically speaking, is within reach of one's own solid sets of values: this being my secret weapon!!
First of all,we all have had skeletons in the closet, no matter how slutty or decent anyone may come across to you, or in telling you what they are or are not!? God knows I've had my share of both! but unlike most I have never ever allow neither one of these extremes to dictate and fully control my destiny or my life. The only way one can truly see or weigh the benefits and differences of who is or what is good or bad, is to temporarily give in to them! you know all my life I kept hearing time and time again, like a broken record, of how disastrous or constructive the choices we made can make or break us. But in reality the good and bad influences are there for us to either allow it to use us, or in my case to manipulate it, or control it to my own benefit; as in the added benefits it has given my own personal growth. At the end of the day those things I let have control over me, dictate my destiny, choices, or successes in life,in time eventually falls under my control without no trace of me ever having control over them!!
WARNING: be ready to face any consequences of your actions as lessons to be learned, and not necessarily as a punishment or a reward for that matter! I am at a crossroad in my life where I am fully aware what I may perceive as good isn't necessarily good, or what is bad isn't necessarily to be a bad thing!? I just used them to my own benefit, and if I fail the better, because every failure or mistake I've made it has help me become a better person.
The same can be said when someone is dishonest or in your case cheats on you! sometimes it isn't so much all their fault as partial as yours is too!? it takes two to tangle you know! the fact that some of us aren't aware of the tell signs, this becomes part of what I like to call "shared cheating" in my own experiences with this unconscious refusal to acknowledge such, I have learned, unfortunately after the fact, that it was my own fault for not having enough balls to hold on to my own set of values, or simply by not paying much attention to my gut feeling! more often then not a lot of gay men tend to be "followers" then being "leaders" of their own lives, but instead prefer to be slaves/followers to the image or personification of what it is like to be gay, in accord to the views of a few leaders within our community, who they themselves have no idea of how the majority of gays live their lives; when in fact one who speaks for the community DOES NOT speak or represent the values of each one individual. Sadly most gay men prefer to hear the pulse of their Penis and not the pulse of their hearts! as it is often misrepresented in countless mainstream venues within our Gay community. But none of this means it should apply to YOU!! and last a word to the wise: Please keep in mind to ALWAYS be conscientious of people's feelings, because no one has the right to knowingly do harm or hurt anyone else's; and believe me it doesn't require much intelligence to know that. Even the most ignorant know the difference between what is good or bad!!