Great thread - It goes to prove that as unique individuals not gays we can personally define who we are, what we are about and definitely what we want for ourselves and our future.
The truth of the matter is that most gay men aren't part of the "scene" or "culture" they are doctors, lawyers, counselors, teachers, policemen, and utility workers. They are ministers, chaplains, social workers, the guy that bags your groceries at the store, your neighbor, your mechanic, and the guy next to you at yoga class or church. Gay men are also responsible parents, PTA members, youth coaches, Big Brothers, and volunteers at the local soup kitchen.
Reality is gay men are no different than straight men and deep down want the same thing "love". Are there gay men that are "slutty"? Yes of course there are, but the same is true of straight men. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with a man's character or heart. Apart from factors beyond our control like upbringing, and the impact of our childhood wether good or bad, we can choose to be the kind of men we want to be. You want to be courageous? Do courageous things, you want to be an honorable and integrity-centered man? Make and keep promises, to both others and yourself. You want to be a loving and compassionate man? Well love deeply and freely give of yourself to others. If your not feeling love in your life, chances are you don't know how to give it. Your never to young or old to be the man you want to be. I'm amazed that in my forties that I can be the best athlete I've ever been just by investing in my health. Eating right, exercising and training are transforming me into the athlete I want to be. The same can be said of the heart and mind, if you invest deeply and train in these areas you will never worry about your professional, social or emotional life as you will always get a return on your investment in these areas.
In my opinion you are not afraid of love, you are afraid you won't find the love you are looking for. This fear isn't a bad thing if you allow it to shape your actions. Don't be in a rush to find your "soul-mate", find yourself first, as one of the posters mentioned they now attract the kind of men they are after. Develop your character in addition to your heart and you will attract to yourself the kind of men that have the potential of a life long partner and husband. I also recommend not treating sex casually if you are, studies have shown that the more casual you are to sex the more unlikely you are to know, experience or have a deep loving relationship. Sex might be good but love (real love) is so much better!
I don't know where you have been meeting guys but you are likely to find quality guys doing quality things. For me personally I know I will meet "Mr. Right" either serving others through his profession, the local soup kitchen or my church. I may even meet him at a future running meet or poetry reading, but I know I won't meet him on Grindr, CL, or the local scene.
Hang in there man, and don't set your standards low or settle for less. At the same time remember you can never have too many friends and you can at least make those on the road to finding "true love" if you learn how to "love".