Why Us Gay Men do What we do.

  • ScotXY

    Posts: 117

    Oct 04, 2008 4:38 PM GMT

    It is more important now than it ever was that we make our relationships work. Wherever we have deluded ourselves in our pursuit of love everlasting, we must now sort out truth from illusion, shadow from substance, to find the real core of intimacy in our partnerships. Where we were lacking in information, guidance, inspiration, and motivation supplied by others, we must now supply our own. No more excuses. No more distractions. No more illusions. Being gay in todays society, in my opinion, is far easier than it was 15 + years ago.

    With time comes not only healing, but acceptance. Society as a whole is constantly evolving. But our society, gay men and women, seems to have fallen asleep in a wrinkle in time. A time where sex was the main driving force in the gay community and when no one knew of HIV/AIDS. A time of summer love and vagabond dreams.

    That was then, this is now. A society filled with anger, fear, and prejudice. One where a long-term relationship with two people genuinely loving each other is extinct and the word monogamy is only seldom heard. Then, at times, we dare to wonder why our relationships as well as friendships don't work out.

    So what is my point you ask? Here it is. That I am a gay man who believes that it is still possible to have a loving, committed, monogamous relationship between two people that can withstand the tests of time. Why, you ask? Because I see so much failure in our society. So much hurt, so much anger, so much jealousy and I long for a life in a much better environment. Away from the drama, away from the stereotypes and away from those people who only bring us down.

    For ours is a love and a life that should be celebrated, not condemned. My one goal? To find a partner and form a relationship that will be an ebullition to the rest of our society that yes, it is possible for two men to lead an extraordinary life together grounded in honesty, trust, and commitment.
  • kaccioto

    Posts: 284

    Oct 04, 2008 4:50 PM GMT
    Grow up, it's about money...j/k, open communication is key as cliche as that is...just learning that now.
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    Oct 04, 2008 5:12 PM GMT
    If that is your one goal then more power to you and lots of success realizing that goal. But don't think that all other gay men should have the same goal, or that you should try to convince them to adopt that goal or can look down on them for wanting different things from life. Respect other peoples choices as you want them to respect yours.
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    Oct 04, 2008 8:55 PM GMT
    you can have a loving, committed, monogamous relationship, but I don't want one... so.. umm.. no?
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    Oct 04, 2008 9:04 PM GMT
    Sounds like you're a little bitter about a former relationship. Move on with your life, be yourself, and everthing will take care of itself.I only wish you the best!!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 04, 2008 9:07 PM GMT
    Luckydog76 saidSounds like you're a little bitter about a former relationship. Move on with your life, be yourself, and everthing will take care of itself.I only wish you the best!!icon_biggrin.gif


    umm, since the original poster doesn't sound that bitter, I can I assume that was directed at me?
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    Oct 04, 2008 9:13 PM GMT
    Sorry LT. I just don't like quoting long posts. Perhaps I should have used sad or despondent as terms. No offense bud. He CAN make it. He has already overame obstacles and may not have the confidence he should have. I totally f**ked up by not reading his entire profile instead of just his post. Mea Culpa! I am not that crazy about an LTR myself.
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    Oct 04, 2008 9:15 PM GMT
    Luckydog76 saidSorry LT. I just don't like quoting long posts. Perhaps I should have used sad or despondent as terms. No offense bud. He CAN make it. He has already overame obstacles and may not have the confidence he should have. I totally f**ked up by not reading his entire profile instead of just his post. Mea Culpa!


    That i get icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 04, 2008 9:56 PM GMT
    I think ScotXY's post is great! It touches on some really great points that we should all consider.

    The lack of genuine commitment in allot of gay men's lives is something that still baffles people. Nobody really knows the causes or has found out a solution. It's my hope that somehow gay and bi men will get over this hump. It creates allot of pain and hurts those who do genuinely want a committed relationship.

    Playing the field and living alone isn't always a sad thing. It's allot of fun and less complicated. But beauty is in the details and details are complicated. In my view, what men need to be able to do is notice the real thing when it's there and be open to exploring it instead of running away from it.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Oct 04, 2008 10:08 PM GMT
    "We've got our backs against the ocean, it's just us against the world"


    Someday. Until then...I've got work to do.
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    Oct 05, 2008 3:13 AM GMT
    The same could be said about heterosexual relationships. Honest, committed relationships are far from the norm for hets.

    I just wish they weren't bogged down by spoon-fed expectations for relationships which are informed by fairy-tale notions of romance. There is an ideal for how relationships should work, but most people do not fit into those roles. Our biological dispositions are entirely at odds with them. Frankly, there would be a lot fewer tawdry divorces and fucked up childhoods if couples brought a third partner into the bed every once in a while.