Horrible at making first impression with gay guys... tips?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2013 8:28 PM GMT
    So I have this curse.

    I make really good first impressions with straight guys and girls (straight or gay), but when it comes to gay guys my first impressions just suckkkkk.

    Its with gay guys in general, whether I'm really into them or not!

    Any tips on making good first impressions?

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    Feb 16, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    Just ask them standard small talk questions - hobbies, food, travel, work etc. Avoid the topics of attraction (either between yourselves or third parties) to begin with, as well as politics and religion. Only about half of people like near-the-knuckle jokes so hold off the Oscar Pistorius jokes until you know he would find it funny.

    That's about all I know, seems to get me by icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2013 11:37 PM GMT
    KKim11 saidbut when it comes to gay guys my first impressions just suckkkkk.


    I think this might be the key.
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    Feb 17, 2013 1:55 AM GMT
    bus9ja2d saidJust ask them standard small talk questions - hobbies, food, travel, work etc. Avoid the topics of attraction (either between yourselves or third parties) to begin with, as well as politics and religion. Only about half of people like near-the-knuckle jokes so hold off the Oscar Pistorius jokes until you know he would find it funny.

    That's about all I know, seems to get me by icon_biggrin.gif


    What do you mean by topics of attraction?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 1:59 AM GMT
    KKim11 saidSo I have this curse.

    I make really good first impressions with straight guys and girls (straight or gay), but when it comes to gay guys my first impressions just suckkkkk.

    Its with gay guys in general, whether I'm really into them or not!

    Any tips on making good first impressions?


    Don't think of them as gay guys. Talk to them like you talk to straight men. You know, talking about vaginas and what you stuff into them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 2:00 AM GMT
    ^^Dont worry about impressing the person or getting them to like you, just get to know them and let them know you. The attraction will come when you get out enough.
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    Feb 17, 2013 2:01 AM GMT
    Get really drunk! icon_lol.gificon_twisted.gif
  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Feb 17, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    "Hey, sup? Oh, you're gay? Cool! Are you a top or bottom?"

    Just make sure it's the third question you ask and not the first or second because then that's just rude.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 17, 2013 2:08 AM GMT
    I kind of agree with some of what has been said above. Make sure not to say anything initially that makes waves... be friendly, smile, look interested and keep a low profile initially. I'm not saying .. don't talk, but I wouldn't try and get in the face of anybody, especially with your history (that you claim).

    It will work out.. just practice and think.. it will be a breeze.

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Feb 17, 2013 2:12 AM GMT
    Just learn to keep you mouth closed and stick your hand partway down your jeans while you give a soft little smile. Practice subtle eyebrow action in the mirror.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 3:03 AM GMT
    Chuckles777 saidGet really drunk! icon_lol.gificon_twisted.gif


    Alcohol has really gotten me into a lot of trouble I don't think its a good way to make friends. I think its better enjoyed with friends that you've met through other more important encounters.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 3:07 AM GMT
    I do try and keep a low profile, but when the gay guy is a mutual friend (which it ends up being) I end up making jokes with my friends that really isn't good for making first impressions.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Feb 17, 2013 3:57 AM GMT
    make your screen name KKKim
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    Good head is a good way to make a good first impression.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 4:04 AM GMT
    And a clean rectum
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 4:07 AM GMT
    From the get go offer money or sex.

    Or both.

    Best gay ever!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    No honestly guys, the only good first impression I make is when I have one night stands with guys i met over grindr or at a bar. I kinda really want gay friends to talk to/ hook me up for a long term relationship
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    Feb 17, 2013 12:57 PM GMT
    Roguewave saidAnd a clean rectum

    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 1:25 PM GMT
    How to make a good first impression:

    - Talk really loud and clearly just to make sure they hear everything you say

    - Ask them personal questions like how much they earn, how they get along with their family, previous relationships and why it didn't work

    - Try analyse the things they say to a personality trait you are trying to discover

    - If the topic of conversation becomes boring, interrupt and change it so that they know you only want to talk about what you find interesting or constantly steer the conversation to be about you

    - Comment on physical quirks and appearances they have

    - After they say something, reiterate to them a basic summary of what they just said and ask them if that's correct

    If you do these, it'll surely be a first impression they'll never forget!
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    Feb 17, 2013 6:17 PM GMT
    KKim11 said
    bus9ja2d saidJust ask them standard small talk questions - hobbies, food, travel, work etc. Avoid the topics of attraction (either between yourselves or third parties) to begin with, as well as politics and religion. Only about half of people like near-the-knuckle jokes so hold off the Oscar Pistorius jokes until you know he would find it funny.

    That's about all I know, seems to get me by icon_biggrin.gif


    What do you mean by topics of attraction?


    Basically try not to see them just as a potential shag
  • Giro

    Posts: 1

    Feb 17, 2013 6:40 PM GMT
    You make good impressions with straight guys??? Teach me master!!!

    lol anyway, if you want to create a good impression, just be a 'likeable/loveable' one: sense of humor, being kind and warm...etc

    Or, just be yourself.

    (as long as it's likeable, jk.)
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 17, 2013 6:44 PM GMT
    My guess is you're trying too hard. Based on your profile. Really? How about your main photo. I know you find it funny but I had to wince before I know it was a joke and not a deformity. I didn't laugh when I figured it out. I just tried to not look at it. I bet you're doing the same thing with gay guys you meet. Starting with something to smack them upside the head before they even know if you're someone they'd want to get to know. Try to stop doing things to make yourself the center of attention.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 6:45 PM GMT
    bus9ja2d said
    KKim11 said
    bus9ja2d saidJust ask them standard small talk questions - hobbies, food, travel, work etc. Avoid the topics of attraction (either between yourselves or third parties) to begin with, as well as politics and religion. Only about half of people like near-the-knuckle jokes so hold off the Oscar Pistorius jokes until you know he would find it funny.

    That's about all I know, seems to get me by icon_biggrin.gif


    What do you mean by topics of attraction?


    Basically try not to see them just as a potential shag


    Oh I never do, unless that was the reason we started talking...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2013 6:52 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidMy guess is you're trying too hard. Based on your profile. Really? How about your main photo. I know you find it funny but I had to wince before I know it was a joke and not a deformity. I didn't laugh when I figured it out. I just tried to not look at it. I bet you're doing the same thing with gay guys you meet. Starting with something to smack them upside the head before they even know if you're someone they'd want to get to know. Try to stop doing things to make yourself the center of attention.


    Thanks for being straightforward. But I'm not really understanding when you say that "I smack them upside the head before they even know if you're someone they'd want to get to know". And what gave you the sense that I do things to make myself the center of attention?
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Feb 17, 2013 8:08 PM GMT
    KKim11 said
    Destinharbor saidMy guess is you're trying too hard. Based on your profile. Really? How about your main photo. I know you find it funny but I had to wince before I know it was a joke and not a deformity. I didn't laugh when I figured it out. I just tried to not look at it. I bet you're doing the same thing with gay guys you meet. Starting with something to smack them upside the head before they even know if you're someone they'd want to get to know. Try to stop doing things to make yourself the center of attention.


    Thanks for being straightforward. But I'm not really understanding when you say that "I smack them upside the head before they even know if you're someone they'd want to get to know". And what gave you the sense that I do things to make myself the center of attention?

    Just the profile pic. Sorry if I misjudged but I was trying to guess what is is that causes you to be rejected (as you say) buy gay guys before they get to know you. When I read your profile and looked at the pics you sound like a perfectly nice guy but a bit of a showoff. For ONLY that group to react that way suggests you're doing something different with them than others and I was guessing you were coming off as an aggressive jokester. Maybe not. Trying to help.