How do you let a guy know you're interested?

  • pelotudo87

    Posts: 225

    Oct 05, 2008 8:28 AM GMT
    Hey just curious...

    A while back I think I might have posted something like this. Basically since Im new to the whole "gay" thing, how do u go about telling a dude yre interested. Im not into bars or clubs or stuff like that--actually, this site has shown me that when I go looking for a boyfriend, I might have better luck with clubs and stuff life that.

    However, in those social contexts, I would become "friends" first. How would u then let a guy know ure interested in him if ure already friends or at least somewhat know each other, especially if u arent sure what the other person thinks. I guess im thinking that after a while u coudl fall into the "friend" zone, but i guess hormonal men might be different than straight women, lol. Also, how do u not come off too strong so that u don't scare him away?

    Thanks.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Oct 05, 2008 9:24 AM GMT
    Yes ... you need to differentiate between being friends and being "interested"
    Invite a guy out for coffee
    something where it's only you two
    and when you're together talk about him ... smile icon_biggrin.gif
    and if you really like this guy
    it'll come thru and he'll get the message without you beating him over the head with it
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    Oct 05, 2008 9:29 AM GMT
    From my experience.. I know that a guy is attracted to me is that they text me alot, ask me to hang out many times, and text me, and keep in touch with me. I found a guy doesn't attracted to me when he :

    - doesn't reply my message
    - reply my message but seems to be annoyed with my message
    - Always have something to do when I ask him to go somewhere together

    I found a guy is a slut when :

    - they talk sweet and try to seduce
    - asking about my status and asking me to go to their place in the first chat
    - doesn't reply my message or call after the date

    Anyway... just be yourself... never get too excited in the first date. Don't have sex in the first date. If you like him, tell him that he likes hanging out with you and looking forward to hang out again. If he doesn't reply, he doesn't like you.. Just be casual, don't show him that you are too available. Be cool..
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    Oct 05, 2008 10:14 AM GMT
    I just had to check your age 1st since I'm 47 and I would not think going to a club is the place to meet a good catch for a guy my age but for guys your age, it's probably a regular weekend hangout for alot of great guys. I was lucky to be able to hangout with other guys from my line of work so we weren't alone but had a table. There was this site for gay men about group activites like biking, hiking, and bring a dish and game night. I can't find it now, but I thought that kind of site would offer a good place to find gay men that might know each other and provide a safer place to find a date instead of the come and go of a club. There are gay car clubs too and the guys know each other. I've never tried to pick up a guy I didn't already know was gay. If you're trying to make a move on a guy and you don't know if he is gay or bi, just try being friends 1st. If he likes you, you will be doing things together more often than not and if he doesn't, you'll know before having to get shot down. Best Wishesicon_smile.gif
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    Oct 05, 2008 10:27 AM GMT
    I'm interested in a guy if when face to face, I completely avoid eye contact and as much interaction as possible with them. icon_cry.gif Me so hopeless.
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    Oct 05, 2008 4:31 PM GMT
    Well, you're still young so it'll be different however you need to begin now being upfront and communicate. If you're diggin someone and there's a sense that they might be too, then you flat out tell them. No beating around the bush or anything like that, wastes time & you start playing too many scenarios in your head. SO avoid all of that and speak your mind. My favorite thing to do is in a bar, if I notice some eye banter, I will ALWAYS approach them and say hi and take it form there!
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    Oct 05, 2008 11:33 PM GMT
    you body slam them into the wall and suck there face off ;)
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    Oct 05, 2008 11:55 PM GMT
    When you drug their drink so they don't remember a thing?
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    Oct 06, 2008 12:06 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidyou body slam them into the wall and suck there face off ;)


    works every time icon_twisted.gif
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    Oct 06, 2008 12:13 AM GMT
    I had a crush on a guy so I invited him out to lunch during the work week. Told him how I felt, he said he was flattered but he did not feel the same way, and that was that. Best thing that ever happened to me, since the guy was prone to self-pity and depression as well as being self-absorbed.
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    Oct 06, 2008 1:20 AM GMT
    u say "hey! i really wanna suck ur dick" icon_eek.gif
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    Oct 06, 2008 3:57 AM GMT
    GobB saidu say "hey! i really wanna suck ur dick" icon_eek.gif


    I could have sworn you just winked at them and bent over icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 06, 2008 4:01 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    GobB saidu say "hey! i really wanna suck ur dick" icon_eek.gif


    I could have sworn you just winked at them and bent over icon_razz.gif


    no ... that is only with u LOL icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 06, 2008 4:05 AM GMT
    Lost071 said
    nautilie7 saidFrom my experience.. I know that a guy is attracted to me is that they text me alot, ask me to hang out many times, and text me, and keep in touch with me. I found a guy doesn't attracted to me when he :

    - doesn't reply my message
    - reply my message but seems to be annoyed with my message
    - Always have something to do when I ask him to go somewhere together

    I found a guy is a slut when :

    - they talk sweet and try to seduce
    - asking about my status and asking me to go to their place in the first chat
    - doesn't reply my message or call after the date

    Anyway... just be yourself... never get too excited in the first date. Don't have sex in the first date. If you like him, tell him that he likes hanging out with you and looking forward to hang out again. If he doesn't reply, he doesn't like you.. Just be casual, don't show him that you are too available. Be cool..


    I would say it depends what he says in the text. If they send a message that is short they may just be trying to not sound too excited as to scare you off. When you say annoyed what exactly do you mean?


    Annoyed means.. no excitement in the text. Just plain and ordinary. Short and effectively answer the question or if you don't question they won't text back, or they just play dumb and don't text you back
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    Oct 06, 2008 4:25 AM GMT
    I was once dating a closeted guy, and we'd go to functions like art openings together as "friends." And he complained to me that his straight friends had asked him about why I never took my eyes off him wherever he went, whether in an art museum or at some reception or dinner, and that rumors were starting about us.

    He was upset, because he wanted to maintain his straight charade. Whereas I was delighted, that my growing love for him was so obvious, even to straights. Didn't last, though, partly because he wanted to be closeted indefinitely, which continues to this day, not something I could live with.

    If you're really interested in a guy I think you project it unconsciously, like I did. And if he's paying any kind of attention, he ought to notice.
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    Oct 06, 2008 4:45 AM GMT
    .....................................................silent-film-weirdness.gif

    Tell him! ..................................................... Tell em.....Tell em..................... don't be a fool!

    .......................... TELL HIM! .........................................Tell em, why wouldn't you tell him!

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    Oct 06, 2008 4:49 AM GMT
    Take your clothes off and flip your feet over your head. But don't come on to him too strong. LOL
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    Oct 06, 2008 5:40 AM GMT
    I suffer from a similar problem. I may see a person who is attractive I just, "Wonder who is he?" Knowing nothing except the exterior I see very little reason to approach and he is about as real to me as a picture.
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    Oct 06, 2008 10:30 AM GMT
    Start as friends. Use the time to become used to each other, comfortable. Then after awhile tell him.icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 06, 2008 12:01 PM GMT
    GobB said
    lilTanker said
    GobB saidu say "hey! i really wanna suck ur dick" icon_eek.gif


    I could have sworn you just winked at them and bent over icon_razz.gif


    no ... that is only with u LOL icon_wink.gif


    OH, hehehe, right icon_biggrin.gif
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    Oct 07, 2008 3:06 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidyou body slam them into the wall and suck there face off ;)



    i wish someone would slam me into a wall
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    Oct 07, 2008 3:38 PM GMT
    Thanks rob. It's just the way I act when I'm with people I'm attracted with. Probably a subconscious effort on my part not to get involved with anyone since I'm still closeted. But meh. icon_razz.gif

    lilTanker saidyou body slam them into the wall and suck there face off ;)


    Isn't that more like... Aliens part 3?
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    Oct 07, 2008 8:21 PM GMT
    sublimechaos saidi wish someone would slam me into a wall


    That could be arranged.. but you might not live to tell the tail.

    Sedative saidIsn't that more like... Aliens part 3?


    Oh no hunny, I'm faaaar rougher!
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    Oct 08, 2008 12:40 AM GMT
    but you might not live to tell the tail.

    Or your "tail" might not live through the experience of being banged!

    Sorry liltanker I could not resist your typo. I am glad somebody else on RJ has this problem.
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    Oct 08, 2008 12:44 AM GMT
    give him the note:


    do you like me?

    yes O
    no O
    maybe O