Losing my homosexuality.

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    Feb 18, 2013 9:43 AM GMT
    I probably shouldn't post this right before I doze off, but I'm interested in hearing people's input.This is no joke either, it's not even something I really wanted.

    I am not a christian, but I do believe in God. And part of me feels relieved to finally not have to worry about my God judging me for being so different when I die. But I was happy with my sexuality and who I was.

    However, over the past year my attention started to drift towards women. I remember the exact day a year ago I was watching tv, smoking some green, and suddenly I started thinking the girl on Syfy's Being Human, Sally, was smoking hot. And then I just started to change.

    I stopped going to gay clubs even though I used to go every weekend. My a4a and grindr accounts are going dormant. And my attraction towards men died too. I used to hook up with guys about every other day, but it has now been 1 year since my last homosexual contact.

    Over the past few months my voice has gotten really deep too, like I've hit some strange 2nd puberty in my late twenties.

    A few days ago, one of my "regulars" was all but begging me for sex and I told him "I'm not gay." Those words felt weird, but they felt right too.

    So what's my problem? I liked being gay. I was proud of being gay. I've been advocating for gay rights and marriage all my life. I have come out to EVERYONE! And I remember that wonderful feeling a man's kiss used to bring, but when I think about it now, it just makes my stomach churn.

    And for some reason, when I think about how happy my family will be now that I am changed, it makes me angry. So I am stuck in limbo. Not sure if this is a phase or if it is really who I am. I was hoping that someone has had or heard of a similar story. I don't look forward to coming out as a heterosexual and then having everyone ask me a million questions and makes snide remarks like "I knew one day you would come around" or "Finally you can be saved!"
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    Feb 18, 2013 12:22 PM GMT
    Obviously you need to smoke more pot. Why is this a big deal? When a "straight" goes from a woman and marriage and all of a sudden announces he is gay, everyone says "always knew" or something.
    So you are bi, or late in life straight, or confused, or just you. Enjoy. Life is how you define it.
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    Feb 18, 2013 12:33 PM GMT
    Martkell2007 saidI probably shouldn't post this right before I doze off, but I'm interested in hearing people's input.This is no joke either, it's not even something I really wanted.

    I am not a christian, but I do believe in God. And part of me feels relieved to finally not have to worry about my God judging me for being so different when I die. But I was happy with my sexuality and who I was.

    However, over the past year my attention started to drift towards women. I remember the exact day a year ago I was watching tv, smoking some green, and suddenly I started thinking the girl on Syfy's Being Human, Sally, was smoking hot. And then I just started to change.

    I stopped going to gay clubs even though I used to go every weekend. My a4a and grindr accounts are going dormant. And my attraction towards men died too. I used to hook up with guys about every other day, but it has now been 1 year since my last homosexual contact.

    Over the past few months my voice has gotten really deep too, like I've hit some strange 2nd puberty in my late twenties.

    A few days ago, one of my "regulars" was all but begging me for sex and I told him "I'm not gay." Those words felt weird, but they felt right too.

    So what's my problem? I liked being gay. I was proud of being gay. I've been advocating for gay rights and marriage all my life. I have come out to EVERYONE! And I remember that wonderful feeling a man's kiss used to bring, but when I think about it now, it just makes my stomach churn.

    And for some reason, when I think about how happy my family will be now that I am changed, it makes me angry. So I am stuck in limbo. Not sure if this is a phase or if it is really who I am. I was hoping that someone has had or heard of a similar story. I don't look forward to coming out as a heterosexual and then having everyone ask me a million questions and makes snide remarks like "I knew one day you would come around" or "Finally you can be saved!"


    Dude, just do what your heart/body/mind/conscience tells you. Do what makes you happy. Listen to yourself.

    And... if you are more into girls, then do it because it's what you like, not because you're afraid of God's punishment, etc...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 12:35 PM GMT
    To be honest, you define your sexuality the way you want.
    Over time things can change, some people who felt they were straight, for lack of a better word, 'become' gay later in life and so of course if that's possible then the opposite can also be said.
    Snide remarks from family aside, as long as you are content with how you're living your life then don't worry too much about other things.
    I'm sure as, or was (not sure how to word it) a gay man you know the pressures of people trying to define your sexuality for you, so in this particular situation I think it still applies.
    Don't feed into it and just find what makes you content however you define it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 12:42 PM GMT
    Run, don't walk, from labels. Sexuality is a continuum, not a toggle switch. Don't ask us who you are. Tell us.
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    Feb 18, 2013 12:51 PM GMT
    Myol saidRun, don't walk, from labels. Sexuality is a continuum, not a toggle switch. Don't ask us who you are. Tell us.


    +1
    It happens...there is nothing to worry about!

    and also +1 to all posts above me...

  • Feb 18, 2013 1:03 PM GMT
    They tried to make me go to gay rehab but I said 'no, no, no'
    icon_razz.gif
    your life can have changes, so respect your decisions and be proud about it
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Feb 18, 2013 1:08 PM GMT
    i was all on board with this until the second puberty line... but umm... it's your life.
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    Feb 18, 2013 1:57 PM GMT
    Get tested.

    At first I was going to label you as bisexual, but I get the feeling you're hiding a few things from us.

    Get tested.

    You were a total slut who appears to regret a lot of your past, and are now attempting to find salvation in a vagina. It won't work.

    Get tested.

    This isn't about having respect for yourself, it's about having integrity and showing respect for those with whom you will engage in sexual relations while figuring out what you are.

    Get tested.

    Any person you have sex with - male and female - has the right to know about your sexual history. Always wear a condom, and always use your head (the one on your shoulders).

    Get tested.

  • Feb 18, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    Amen CREDO!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    U must smoke some potent green! YOU'RE STILL GAY THOUGH!!
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    Sexuality is not something you can just swing from one side to another, unless you are smoking some super powerful weed.
    Oh, wait, you mention you were smoking some super powerful weed. Never mind what I was going to say. In college I loved smoking super powerful weed and bang bang banging my ultra sexy girlfriend. We had the best of times, until I got tired of both, the super powerful weed and the super sexy girlfriend.
    Get rid of your bong and get yourself into therapy.
    I could care less if you are straight, gay or somewhere deep within either, but it's up to you and all those swishy voices in that big giant empty head of yours to figure it out.
    That said, words have definitions. Once you are gay, you don't just swish back to straight, you are forever bi now, because you have been a dick master.
    And as many much smarter posters before me have said with some expertise, there is no such thing as bi, so you are probably gay.
    Smoke more pot is all I am saying.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    For some reason, I also want to lose it.
    I might already have a son/daughter if I were not gay.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:30 PM GMT
    I'm glad I'm not the only one more concerned about the slutty behaviour than the orientation switching.

    I say go out and live your life, if you fall in love with a girl, why not?
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:30 PM GMT
    gayusasian82 saidFor some reason, I also want to lose it.
    I might already have a son/daughter if I were not gay.

    Obviously all you need to do is smoke more pot. Then just start claiming the dramatic change. It's just that simple.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:32 PM GMT
    I didn't know being gay meant you can't have kids....learn something new everyday.

    tumblr_m161dvVeAQ1r4ghkoo1_500.gif
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:33 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    gayusasian82 saidFor some reason, I also want to lose it.
    I might already have a son/daughter if I were not gay.

    Obviously all you need to do is smoke more pot. Then just start claiming the dramatic change. It's just that simple.


    If pot cured homosexuality, I'd be the straightest straight man on the planet.
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:43 PM GMT
    credo said
    smartmoney said
    gayusasian82 saidFor some reason, I also want to lose it.
    I might already have a son/daughter if I were not gay.

    Obviously all you need to do is smoke more pot. Then just start claiming the dramatic change. It's just that simple.


    If pot cured homosexuality, I'd be the straightest straight man on the planet.


    Actually my exbf had similar thoughts when smoked for too long too often. Maybe OP should leave the pot for a few weeks and see if anything changes.
  • C_Dezi

    Posts: 134

    Feb 18, 2013 2:44 PM GMT
    i'd day gay men coming forward and accepting themselves was a huge step for the evolution of mankind. maybe you're just the next step
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    Feb 18, 2013 2:56 PM GMT
    klobasnik said
    credo said
    smartmoney said
    gayusasian82 saidFor some reason, I also want to lose it.
    I might already have a son/daughter if I were not gay.

    Obviously all you need to do is smoke more pot. Then just start claiming the dramatic change. It's just that simple.


    If pot cured homosexuality, I'd be the straightest straight man on the planet.


    Actually my exbf had similar thoughts when smoked for too long too often. Maybe OP should leave the pot for a few weeks and see if anything changes.



    Weed can cause paranoia, so it goes without saying that it can happen to gay men who are uncomfortable with their homsexuality.
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    Feb 18, 2013 3:00 PM GMT
    Mind-altering substances alters the mind.
  • Havenjock80

    Posts: 428

    Feb 18, 2013 3:04 PM GMT
    the answer is....

    U haven't found someone who will make you forget about the crap you just talked about..

    Once you do... U ll know.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2013 3:15 PM GMT
    "And I remember that wonderful feeling a man's kiss used to bring, but when I think about it now, it just makes my stomach churn." This says a lot. I'm gay but I have made out with many different girls when I was trying to understand myself and in no way thinking about that does it disgust me. It sounds to me some dramatic event happened that you're not mentioning. I can't help but feel you're leaving something big out of this story.

    Remember preferences change but your sexuality doesn't. Also, there is in absolutely no way a correlation between testosterone or how deep your voice is and your sexuality. This sounds like a subconscious assimilation.
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    Feb 18, 2013 3:31 PM GMT
    Martkell2007 saidI probably shouldn't post this right before I doze off, but I'm interested in hearing people's input.This is no joke either, it's not even something I really wanted.

    I am not a christian, but I do believe in God. And part of me feels relieved to finally not have to worry about my God judging me for being so different when I die. But I was happy with my sexuality and who I was.

    However, over the past year my attention started to drift towards women. I remember the exact day a year ago I was watching tv, smoking some green, and suddenly I started thinking the girl on Syfy's Being Human, Sally, was smoking hot. And then I just started to change.

    I stopped going to gay clubs even though I used to go every weekend. My a4a and grindr accounts are going dormant. And my attraction towards men died too. I used to hook up with guys about every other day, but it has now been 1 year since my last homosexual contact.

    Over the past few months my voice has gotten really deep too, like I've hit some strange 2nd puberty in my late twenties.

    A few days ago, one of my "regulars" was all but begging me for sex and I told him "I'm not gay." Those words felt weird, but they felt right too.

    So what's my problem? I liked being gay. I was proud of being gay. I've been advocating for gay rights and marriage all my life. I have come out to EVERYONE! And I remember that wonderful feeling a man's kiss used to bring, but when I think about it now, it just makes my stomach churn.

    And for some reason, when I think about how happy my family will be now that I am changed, it makes me angry. So I am stuck in limbo. Not sure if this is a phase or if it is really who I am. I was hoping that someone has had or heard of a similar story. I don't look forward to coming out as a heterosexual and then having everyone ask me a million questions and makes snide remarks like "I knew one day you would come around" or "Finally you can be saved!"


    This is silly. You think one woman is attractive and you think that you're straight. Just because you can appreciate a woman's good looks does not mean you are sexually attracted to her. Being bisexual or straight means you can get an erection about fucking a woman and are sexually attracted to her. and getting one from straight porn is not necessarily proof because you could be focusing on the guy. A lot of gay men think they see a beautiful woman and like her for that and suddenly they're not gay. sorry but it has to be more sexual than that.
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    Feb 18, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    credo said
    klobasnik said
    credo said
    smartmoney said
    gayusasian82 saidFor some reason, I also want to lose it.
    I might already have a son/daughter if I were not gay.

    Obviously all you need to do is smoke more pot. Then just start claiming the dramatic change. It's just that simple.


    If pot cured homosexuality, I'd be the straightest straight man on the planet.


    Actually my exbf had similar thoughts when smoked for too long too often. Maybe OP should leave the pot for a few weeks and see if anything changes.



    Weed can cause paranoia, so it goes without saying that it can happen to gay men who are uncomfortable with their homsexuality.


    well he was paranoid a lot when smoking so it might explain a lot, he was always talking about cops hiding somewhere around