Why get a nice body when my face is the problem?

  • GraffitiMySou...

    Posts: 139

    Feb 18, 2013 6:36 PM GMT
    First of all, I didn't know where to post, so I if this is the wrong sub-forum for that kind of topic - feel free to move it somewhere.

    Alright. This is probably yet another of the self-hating topics. I am seriously going out of my way to figure out how to help myself. I work out a lot. I gained a lot of weight last year when I was put on some drugs while I was in a hospital. In December my doc changed my medication and finally, I stopped eating like a pig and started working out again. Today, however, it hit me: who am I doing it for? Is it really to stay healthy and be satisfied with my own body? To a certain extent, yes, but don't we all want to be more attractive to other guys? We sure do and that is a big reason why most of us work out. So I went out of the gym, got back home and looked in the mirror. It hit me again: why bother? I can't stand my face (well, the entire head actually). I don't thing it's horrid, but definitely ugly. Big skin pores, two ugly wrinkles, because apparently I laugh too much, big nose, huge head and its shape. Oh, and one of my ears sticks out more than the other one. I mean, seriously? The problem is, I only started looking at my face when I started dating/hooking up. It was never a problem when I was a teenager. I used to be buff and thought that was enough to attract other guys. Well, I was wrong. I ended up hooking up with guys I wasn't even attracted to, because I was always rejected by the ones whom I found good looking. At first I was kinda taken aback by it since most of the girls in college told me they thought I was attractive, but when it came to guys I just couldn't seem to find the right one. A lot of guys would compliment me on my body and stuff, but for some strange reason they never wanted to hook up. Now I know why... The thing is, I don't think I have low self-esteem. I genuinely like myself for who I am, my personality, the way I interact with people. I'm well-educated, have a great job, but suddenly I became self-conscious about the way I look. I'm not blaming guys in general, because we all like the good looking ones, no matter what one's taste is, but sometimes it gets me down a little too much. I know I can be charming and impress people with my personality, but that's very rare since, like I said, I pretty much always get rejected. I live in a small city so there are no gay bars/clubs and the only way to get a date/hook up is via the Internet. There's not too much I can do about it, then. Or maybe there is? Any suggestions? Is there hope for someone like me? I don't like feeling like shit...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 18, 2013 9:31 PM GMT
    ur face ain't the problem.
    It's good.

    it's that self-hating attitude man.
    I see ur pics. ur face looks good, I didnt see big pores, big nose, weird head lol, etc....

    u sittin around thinkin about it too much. Get out there are start dating
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 1:37 AM GMT
    GraffitiMySoul26 saidWhy get a nice body when my face is the problem?
    Because it's your body I'd want to grope as I ejaculate. If your face is too ugly, that's what bags are for.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    klassik saidur face ain't the problem.
    It's good.

    it's that self-hating attitude man.
    I see ur pics. ur face looks good, I didnt see big pores, big nose, weird head lol, etc....

    u sittin around thinkin about it too much. Get out there are start dating
    I agree with klassik. Your face is fine. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 3:38 AM GMT
    It's the attitude, be you, fuck the haters.

    Your face is fine, shut up and date
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 3:44 AM GMT
    Yeah, I've seen worse faces.

    Why you hate your own face is due to some trauma or insecurity from childhood. Have you ever seen anyone actually do one of those look-then-quick-look-away things that this guy gets?

    ugly_man.jpg

    No? Then you look fine.

    Attach it to a hot body and you'll get laid. Guaranteed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    You look fine. Very handsome in fact.

    Depth of character, the ability to make someone smile, kindness, maturity, courage, etc... will attract more men than a pretty face.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    I hate you. I hate it when handsome people feel like they're ugly.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Feb 19, 2013 4:00 AM GMT
    You would be surprised how confidence can make someone seem 100 times more attractive than the next guy. When a guy is proud of what he has and has that confidence, it radiates from him. Makes him more attractive than the guy who is naturally handsome but has zero personality or is very shallow.

    No ones face is perfect, there are things I use to not like about mine but I have come to love it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 4:01 AM GMT
    Jeremy-lion-hugs.gif


    MidwesternYou would be surprised how confidence can make someone seem 100 times more attractive than the next guy. When a guy is proud of what he has and has that confidence, it radiates from him. Makes him more attractive than the guy who is naturally handsome but has zero personality or is very shallow.

    No ones face is perfect, there are things I use to not like about mine but I have come to love it.


    But ya this ^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidYeah, I've seen worse faces.

    Why you hate your own face is due to some trauma or insecurity from childhood. Have you ever seen anyone actually do one of those look-then-quick-look-away things that this guy gets?

    ugly_man.jpg

    No? Then you look fine.

    Attach it to a hot body and you'll get laid. Guaranteed.


    Isn't he the gay character in Family Guy?

    Oh noooooooooooooooo!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    Northish99 saidJeremy-lion-hugs.gif


    MidwesternYou would be surprised how confidence can make someone seem 100 times more attractive than the next guy. When a guy is proud of what he has and has that confidence, it radiates from him. Makes him more attractive than the guy who is naturally handsome but has zero personality or is very shallow.

    No ones face is perfect, there are things I use to not like about mine but I have come to love it.


    But ya this ^


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 4:07 AM GMT
    Hey there handsome. You live in a small town? That is probably the problem. Small town gay scenes are famous for not making any sense. You'll do much better in a big metro area. Seriously, everything changed for me when I moved to a big city after living in a series of small towns.
  • Smakkyoface

    Posts: 198

    Feb 19, 2013 4:08 AM GMT
    to the OP.

    I think you may be a bit shallow. I mean if you're that meticulous about your face, I wonder what qualities you look for on other guys. Perhaps you always go for 15/10 guys and overlook everyone else?

    You'll be fine though, I bet you're dick is bigger than mine. So hold your head up high and walk with pride!icon_biggrin.gif
  • Angelix90

    Posts: 267

    Feb 19, 2013 1:18 PM GMT
    Trust me, you look great.

    One thing you lack is confidence. It can transform you from great to hot.
  • kencarson

    Posts: 224

    Feb 19, 2013 1:38 PM GMT
    Hey OP,

    We all go through this. We are all can be our own worst critics. We have to look at ourselves far more than anyone else has to, so of course, we'll start to notice the little things that are askew. And some people are more blessed than others in the handsomeness department. But the thing is, there's beauty that is presented to us through the media, and then there's subjective beauty. What one person finds attractive, doesn't mean the person right next to him will feel the same way. Right now it sounds like you're comparing yourself to an ideal, and to compare is to despair. You are not anyone else, you're you. And you're the only you. Embracing what you have and loving yourself will allow you to be loved by others. It's just logic. Why would someone find you attractive if you don't find you attractive? There are going to be countless people out there telling you that something's wrong with you for one reason or another. You can't be one of them. Be on your side. You're unique and beautiful.
  • GraffitiMySou...

    Posts: 139

    Feb 19, 2013 1:43 PM GMT
    Thank you guys for all the responses! I really appreciate it.

    I didn't mean to sound overly self-conscious. Like I said, I do like myself, but there are those rare days when I just feel like shit. It usually happens when I go outside (shopping for example) and I see all these guys with incredibly beautiful faces and I just become this jealous, miserable person. Ugh, I hate that about myself...

    I know confidence can be the key to success. I kind of learned how to fake being confident. No one can actually tell the difference. That's why most of my friends would never think, even for a second, that I have some self-esteem issues. However, pretending to be confident is very exhausting. Feels like I'm lying to all these people and myself. It sucks big time.

    Someone mentioned dick size. Yeah, about that... I didn't want to mention that in the first place, but this is also something that I kind of obsess over. I mean, I feel like I'll have to bottom for the rest of my life, which I'm ok with, but sometimes I'd really love to be on the top side. I realize 6"2 can be ok, but that never helped me get a date/hook up. Even when I didn't disclose that information and things got sexy during a date, I would end up being a bottom... You might say I should stop looking for hook ups, but I'm still relatively young and I want to explore... My personality is not gonna help in that matter. Should I pretend I look for a relationship, impress someone with the way I am, try my best to get them to bed and then leave? No, I'm past that. Shallow, I know.

    Guess I really need to move to a bigger city or even better, a different country. Tell Obama to waive visas for Poles and I'll fly my ass to the US in a heartbeat icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 1:57 PM GMT
    GraffitiMySoul26 said...There's not too much I can do about it, then. Or maybe there is? Any suggestions? Is there hope for someone like me? I don't like feeling like shit...

    If I ever found myself concerned because some guy's one ear stuck out more than his other then shame on me, not on him. I hope I wouldn't even notice it, and if I did would term it "character". There's no such thing as an absolutely perfect human being, you know, we all have some flaws somewhere.

    In Hollywood's Golden Age the greatest stars often had defects in appearance, which could be minimized, or simply ignored because their talent and other strengths transcended their shortcomings. (I know this period better than the present film industry, plus these things are well-documented today as known facts).

    Clark Gable: The greatest male romantic lead of his day had enormous ears, and no way to hide them. Caricatures of him made them even bigger, it was such a joke they were featured in animated cartoons of Gable, too. I don't even think he was that handsome overall, but his female fans went crazy for him. Never second-guess your audience, and look a gift horse in the mouth (or ears).

    Alan Ladd: So short he sometimes had to stand on a box to appear taller than his leading ladies, and camera angles had to be planned to disguise his lack of height. Didn't stop him from becoming a major star.

    Norma Shearer: The Queen of MGM was slightly cross-eyed.

    Barbara Stanwyck: Had a disproportionately long torso and short legs. Special dresses had to be made for her to visually disguise this defect, and make her waistline appear to be higher. Most moviegoers never even noticed this flaw.

    Ingrid Bergman: Famous for her crooked nose, that even camera angles couldn't always hide.

    The list goes on. But here's another thought - if you find things above the neck so awful, then distract guys with what's below the neck. Instead of abandoning having a nice body, it's more reason to develop one.

    You're a whole package, not just a disembodied head. Wow the guys with a great body and they'll accept almost anything that's attached to it. Add to that a winning & outgoing personality (and work on your smile, a flaw of my own), and you'll be more popular than you ever imagined. And no one will even notice a single ear being out of place, or a few large skin pores.
  • Bicuriouscool

    Posts: 233

    Feb 19, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    What pores are you talking about? Were you studying your face under a microscope?
    You look good enough...
    for the "why body without a good face" .. well you need to have something which is awesome, other things can be around avg and thats all you need for a hookup
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 2:19 PM GMT
    Wow and here I thought I was critical of myself...

    Dude, a bit of advice from a guy who grew up hating himself for how he looked.

    1) Never describe to people what you think is wrong with you. They usually don't notice until you point it out.
    2) No one notices your "flaws" nearly as much as you do. The human eye tends to generalize how people look, so unless you're a circus freak - which you're not - or a beautiful demigod, most people average out how you look. I have a lot if things I don't like about how I look (I won't say them as per rule 1), but I've literally had no one notice those things in me.
    3) Don't obsess aver what you can't change: obsess over what you can. The things you can't change are the things you need to embrace: own them and wear them like armor. Even if you had an ugly face - for real ugly - if you OWN that, wear it proudly, then that can work for you. Honestly, my boyfriends tend to have goofy/weird faces but jacked bodies. It's easy to have a kind of buster face but be "rough trade" because you're jacked.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 2:20 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    GraffitiMySoul26 saidWhy get a nice body when my face is the problem?
    Because it's your body I'd want to grope as I ejaculate. If your face is too ugly, that's what bags are for.


    There are even nice spadex hoods that look hot as well.

    Seriously, whatever you do, OP, do it for yourself. Consider utilizing a therapist to help you to understand where your feelings are coming from and so that you can work to overcome the feelings which are holding you back. I love going to my therapist.
  • Beastmode

    Posts: 213

    Feb 19, 2013 2:26 PM GMT
    Seriously nothing wrong with your face fella. icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 3:09 PM GMT
    You're over-analyzing this stuff. You're a good looking guy. Stop being self-critical--it's unhealthy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 19, 2013 3:54 PM GMT
    You're picking yourself apart. Look at the sum of your parts, the big picture, and you'll see you're fine. If you feel that "straight-average" is "gay-ugly" then build up your body - being a butterface works for the straight guys, and you'd be one of the better looking ones! There are far worse looking guys than you with confidence and swagger that attract the same sex!
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Feb 19, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    Northish99 saidJeremy-lion-hugs.gif


    MidwesternYou would be surprised how confidence can make someone seem 100 times more attractive than the next guy. When a guy is proud of what he has and has that confidence, it radiates from him. Makes him more attractive than the guy who is naturally handsome but has zero personality or is very shallow.

    No ones face is perfect, there are things I use to not like about mine but I have come to love it.


    But ya this ^


    my god I love that gif icon_biggrin.gif