Reality check.....

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2013 5:08 PM GMT
    From a friends post he wrote....thought id share it.

    Reality Check 

    This post is not going to make me popular. I can olnly speak from my own experience and what I have personally learned after being in committed relationships all my life. After reading the many opinions posted here, I just wanted to share some of what I feel. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and their own reality.

     I have loved the men I have been involved with.I have lived with a man who died in my arms.after 13 years of living together. Thhought my life was over until I met my current husband who I have lived with in my small apartment for 20 years.It hasnt always been easy. We have fought, argued and even stopped speaking. I have put him out and he came back crying because he really had nowehere to go.There are days I would kill for him. Ther are other days when je jas made me so mad that I dont even want to be around him.. I hear so many people pontificate about what they want and who they will be in a relationship. The reality of what actually happens behind closed doors is totally different. Dont let people fool you. Honest communication is never the only key. Relationships are a constant negotiation and require investment and sacrifice. Dont listen to your friends and relatives. Make the choice that is right for YOU.

    Relationships are hard. Most people have a very strong idea of who and what they want, however we can never change or alter the path of another human being. People change, grow, get ill and even die.

    A good looking man can change into your worst nightmare overnight if he is unhealthy in mind, spirit or body. The reality is, YOU are never in complete control of the circumstances. You must love and be grateful for every moment you have together, NOW. Tomorrow is not ever promised to anyone. Before you put yourself out there looking for that "perfect" mate, there are some basic realities that exist in ALL relationships if they are to last over time. Just remember, everybody wants you to think their relationship is perfect. But there are many other private factors that need to be addressed. Find that person that makes you the happiest and then remember, if you choose to be involved in a relationship, you will ALWAYS have to compromise. 

    1. Men are not and will not always be considerate of your home, your possessions or your feelings. It is not always purposeful, sometimes they just arent taught to be sensitive to the needs and desires of others. Some men will be very similar to you ion how they feel, but not always on everything. Dont expect anyone to value your personal posessions as much as you do. People are raised in different environments and dont always have the same background or nurturing you might have experienced. If you are particular about your home, that needs to be discussed in detail up front.

    2. Men fart, smell and dont always have the same grooming habits you might have. The person you have fallen for will surprise you at times. Dont always expect a deodorized fantasy. Allow him to be who and what he is. And if you have to teach him how to be better, be gentle and sensitive with your criticism.

    3. Your love will eventually disappoint you at some point. No one is perfect. You must decide if the man you love is worth the sacrifices you may have to make. A relationship is not always about you. Is the man more important than your needs in the moment? 

    4. Sex grows, changes and sometimes even ends. Sometimes a relationship starts out one way and then changes. Can you come to an agreement? Is it worth changing partners? You, and only you must decide if the man you love is worth sacrificing or changing your own physical needs.

    5. People get sick and they eventually die. This is life altering for everyone involved. Chapters end. Life changes. Dont stay stuck in the past. Give yourself the time to grieve and then move on. If you have to move on, dont expect the next relationship to become a carbon copy of what you had. Move forward and stay open to a different experience. &. Always take FULL responsibility for any problems or failure that happens during the course of your union.

    Dont hide information and then expect him to just go along with the program. Be as honest as you can and always try to retaing a sense of humor about everything. If you truly love him, he deserves that. Life is not evr easy or fair. Be clear. Dont take your problems out on him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2013 6:24 PM GMT
    I got to the part that said "reality check" and then I started to think that those cookies my friend Eric gave me this weekend might really be pot cookies because whenever I eat them I end up not getting any real work done and a lot of masturbation done and I also write meaningless sentences that seem to run on and on, so I called Eric and got his voicemail and not wanting to, you know, leave any sort of incriminating message, I just said, "Eric, these cookies are sort of freaking me out, come over and bring garlic pizza."
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    Feb 19, 2013 7:26 PM GMT
    Lmfao!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Feb 19, 2013 7:47 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI got to the part that said "reality check" and then I started to think that those cookies my friend Eric gave me this weekend might really be pot cookies because whenever I eat them I end up not getting any real work done and a lot of masturbation done and I also write meaningless sentences that seem to run on and on, so I called Eric and got his voicemail and not wanting to, you know, leave any sort of incriminating message, I just said, "Eric, these cookies are sort of freaking me out, come over and bring garlic pizza."


    Sounds like you lucked out! He gave you pot brownies AND he's bringing pizza. What a friend!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 19, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    What was this post about?
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Feb 19, 2013 10:06 PM GMT
    2. Inconsiderate and/or unhygienic people Men fart, smell and dont always have the same grooming habits you might have. The person you have fallen for will surprise you at times. Dont always expect a deodorized fantasy. Allow him to be who and what he is. And if you have to teach him how to be better, be gentle and sensitive with your criticism.

    FIFY
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Feb 19, 2013 11:25 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI got to the part that said "reality check" and then I started to think that those cookies my friend Eric gave me this weekend might really be pot cookies because whenever I eat them I end up not getting any real work done and a lot of masturbation done and I also write meaningless sentences that seem to run on and on, so I called Eric and got his voicemail and not wanting to, you know, leave any sort of incriminating message, I just said, "Eric, these cookies are sort of freaking me out, come over and bring garlic pizza."


    I must admit to love reading your posts because of your sense of humor, in a good way! I am not being sarcastic at all! icon_lol.gif
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Feb 19, 2013 11:55 PM GMT
    Dear Brian thank you for sharing it! your friend speaks tons of truth! everything he said is true! while it may sound like a cliche, corny, or may not sit well with those with above average looks, the bottom line is that in order for one to thoroughly get the best out of life, as well as sharing it with another, one have to deal with the reality check on accepting people and things as they are. And while this is a reality that is very hard to digest by most of us, if one does not come in terms in embracing the complexities of your love one, you are not deserving of being loved....period! the guy I am currently dating loves me for me as much as I love him for who he is. We do have our bad days but we know better not to ignore the "why and because" of our every moods, emotions, and differences. It's being a while since I have met anyone that knows how to compromise, and still leave room to each other's comfort zone without threatening our ever growing Love and respect for one another!