Yikes! Stood up.

  • SeattleGreenl...

    Posts: 124

    Feb 20, 2013 3:13 AM GMT
    It is always humbling.. and a bit embarrassing when someone makes a second date with you and then doesn't show up or follow up or answer your call. Assuming they are not dead or chained to the wall as an abducted American citizen in a foreign country....It kind of stings... On the receiving end of this tonight.. Yikes....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 3:17 AM GMT
    Maybe he likes head, and decided to date someone with one.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Feb 20, 2013 3:33 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidMaybe he likes head, and decided to date someone with one.


    With do respect to the this topic, I couldn't resist laughing out loud at Paul's response! I am sorry but I need it a laugh!

  • SeattleGreenl...

    Posts: 124

    Feb 20, 2013 3:34 AM GMT
    Maybe he did.
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Feb 20, 2013 3:35 AM GMT
    Ahh pal, that completely sucks! Sorry to hear that! Pay no attention to the jokers above me!
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Feb 20, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    SeattleGreenlake saidIt is always humbling.. and a bit embarrassing when someone makes a second date with you and then doesn't show up or follow up or answer your call. Assuming they are not dead or chained to the wall as an abducted American citizen in a foreign country....It kind of stings... On the receiving end of this tonight.. Yikes....


    Buddy get use to it! but don't take it personally! if the guy is really interested in you he will call you back, and hopefully let you know what happened? and if he doesn't, well that is his loss!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    On the contrary, you should be happy because....

    these people whom you are dating with, when they doesn't respond to your calls...etc.,. they are giving you hints...
    hints which show their real character or attitude...which indicate that they don't deserve you...hints which say that you should stop contacting them & look for someone else...
    if you ignore these hints...it is inevitable that sooner or later you will regret it!
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Feb 20, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    Harry7785 saidOn the contrary, you should be happy because....

    these people whom you are dating with, when they doesn't respond to your calls...etc.,. they are giving you hints...
    hints which show their real character or attitude...which indicate that they don't deserve you...hints which say that you should stop contacting them & look for someone else...
    if you ignore these hints...it is inevitable that sooner or later you will regret it!


    Excellent advice!! in my last relationship I did not see or just didn't pay much mind to the hints! if I would have known then what I know now I would probably wouldn't have wasted three years of my life! he was not a bad person but he was distant and cold. I crave on affection not because I am needy, but because that is my nature as such I like reciprocation!!, therefore I need and love the same in return in order to feel fulfilled and happy in a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 5:29 AM GMT
    SeattleGreenlake saidIt is always humbling.. and a bit embarrassing when someone makes a second date with you and then doesn't show up or follow up or answer your call. Assuming they are not dead or chained to the wall as an abducted American citizen in a foreign country....It kind of stings... On the receiving end of this tonight.. Yikes....


    I sat in your chair a number of times. The seat is a little lumpy on the left side.

    If they'll do that, I thought, then dating them would just be more of the same, but worse with the emotional investment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 6:26 AM GMT
    I am pretty sure that the SOP for northwest gays is to line up multiple dates for the weekend then just show up for the one that seems hottest. Leave the others hanging. A week later, he'll get back to you like nothing has happened and expect you to make dinner for him.

    Neither Selsun Blue nor Head and Shoulders will help.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 1:00 PM GMT
    mindgarden saidI am pretty sure that the SOP for northwest gays is to line up multiple dates for the weekend then just show up for the one that seems hottest. Leave the others hanging. A week later, he'll get back to you like nothing has happened and expect you to make dinner for him.

    Neither Selsun Blue nor Head and Shoulders will help.

    This, and when I moved from the Pacific Northwest it actually ended. Part of the "problem" is online/apps making availability and choices easier, but part of it is just obnoxious and dishonest men saying one thing and doing another. The very least one should expect is an email/call/text saying not coming.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 2:11 PM GMT
    That's too bad, but I bet your experience is not unique among gays (and perhaps among heteros). I've never been stood up, so I don't pretend that I know how it feels. What I do know is that many gay guys tend to like the "unattainable"; many others like the emotional abuse that they get from men who don't give a fuck. Once these guys smell desperation or feel that you like them more than they like you, that's the end of it.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11838

    Feb 20, 2013 4:04 PM GMT
    SeattleGreenlake saidIt is always humbling.. and a bit embarrassing when someone makes a second date with you and then doesn't show up or follow up or answer your call. Assuming they are not dead or chained to the wall as an abducted American citizen in a foreign country....It kind of stings... On the receiving end of this tonight.. Yikes....
    Go directly to your mirror..look at yourself and say this out loud...Fuck em...and mean it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 7:01 PM GMT
    You implied that you've done it before.
    You know the reasons why it happens. He got a better offer, or he wasn't all that into you on the first date. (He could have died, lapsed into a coma, or gotten amnesia, but that's usually not why someone is stood up.)

    The take home lesson is to be a man of integrity and look for that in your potential dates. If you make plans to see a guy again you follow through. If you're going to break your plans or even if you're running late, you communicate.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 7:15 PM GMT
    Ah the fun of dating. Been there! I actually had a guy stand me up because he "thought" I was going to stand him up (and trust me - I didn't give him any reason to). Don't try to wrap your head around that one. It just makes your head hurt. I was thankful I dodged a crazy bullet and moved on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 7:22 PM GMT
    yep know how you feel!
    I was dating a guy for about a month recently and over the past 10 days I haven't heard a peep out of him. He stopped speaking to me.
    I just discovered that he is now seeing someone else.
    Stings indeed when someone treats you like you don't matter or that you don't even exist any more.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    It seems to be the way things are now days. I don't know what happened to the fun and frolic times of the 90s and early 2000s when people actually didn't flake out. I was starting a good friendship with a guy that just broke up with his ex. He stood me up, and gave up a good friendship just because .... Being stood up stings for a while because there is no closure usually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 7:52 PM GMT
    Maybe he saw you and found out you are 6'5" and it intimidated him!

    Seriously - some of these guys with zero confidence get cold feet at the last second. I had a blind date several years ago / we were to meet for dinner at a restaurant. I showed up, went inside and waited - and after 20 minutes I just left. I contacted the no-show who told me something surprising. He said he was there on time - waiting in the parking lot and actually watched me drive up and go inside. He said I walked past his car. I told him I saw nobody in the parking lot but an old, fat guy in a badly dented Comet looking at me and paid no attention to him. He then admitted that he was THAT guy. He said he'd misrepresented himself (by about 100 pounds and 20 years) and felt I'd be pissed at him. He was ashamed to meet me, since I'd represented myself accurately and he had not, so he just split - - - leaving me to cool my heels for 20 minutes.

    What's with these guys who are no-shows, or fakes, liars, etc.?
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Feb 20, 2013 8:07 PM GMT
    You look from your pictures like you have a sexy, tall build, so that couldn't have been the issue. Maybe it was just a conflict of lifestyles or ideas. Maybe there's another man in the picture. Don't sweat and keep on stepping.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 8:16 PM GMT
    That sucks dude. I got stood up on Valentines day by a guy who I was supposed to meet for dinner. I called him to double-check our plans that day and he wouldn't answer his phone. No response to texts either. Two days ago though he accidentally misdialed me in the middle of the night. When I answered he became really awkward and hung up icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 20, 2013 11:14 PM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear that! Try to think of it as a learing experience. Sure, the guy stood you up. But that doesn't mean you should let a bad evening get you down. He should of at least had the decency to call/text you to say that he wasn't going to make it. I mean, what kind of person does that to another. That's just not right.