Is he dodgy or not?

  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Feb 20, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    Hey,

    I've started seeing a guy that I met last week but I have started to think he might be a bit dodgy.

    - When we first met he said hadn't done yoga yet when we met yesterday and watched a film he pointed out how one of the characters was doing yoga incorrectly and he said that he does it

    - He has just told me that he is 17 (18 in 2 months), I was really shocked as before that I thought he was 18 (even 18 seemed a bit young for me so I'm really not sure what to make of this :/)

    -He only messages me through the app we met on, rather than texting (odd?)

    -When I called him before our second date and he answered, he was all like "who is this?" which is odd as he gave me his number before our first date and I had rang him, I assumed he would have saved mine ?

    - We were meant to meet the other day but then he started coming up with loads of excuses (he was tired/ the buses aren't running (but they were)/ it's too late (even though yesterday he was over till even later)

    - he is CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY on his phone and getting message when we are together

    - I had a few messages when we met today and he said I was popular, then he said he really wanted to go through my phone and I said I was cool with it as long as I could go through his (I have nothing to hide but I do think it is a bit of invasion of privacy) When I suggested I looked at his phone he suddenly decided that he wasn't gonna let me

    So what do you guys think, does this seem dodgy or normal? Should I just give him the benefit of the doubt? Am I over-analysing?

    I just really don't wanna end up with an sti or something. He does claim to be looking for something serious and he wanted our second date not to be a "sex thing" which I was fine about as I want something serious too
  • SeattleGreenl...

    Posts: 124

    Feb 20, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    What does your gut tell you?

    If you have doubts in your gut- listen to them.

  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Feb 20, 2013 3:47 AM GMT
    SeattleGreenlake saidWhat does your gut tell you?

    If you have doubts in your gut- listen to them.



    My gut tells me he is a bit dodgy and I should stay clear but I don't really know.
  • Angelix90

    Posts: 267

    Feb 20, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    SeattleGreenlake saidWhat does your gut tell you?

    If you have doubts in your gut- listen to them.



    Or heart. Listen to your heart ----- Roxette
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Feb 20, 2013 3:50 AM GMT
    Call me cold hearted but nothing nothing phases me anymore! when someone disappoints,does not measured up to my standards, or disrespects me I have learned to simply ignore them or just walk away! which reminds one time when I went on a date, how he was constantly answering his cell phone. I courteously excused myself from the table to go to the bathroom just so I could just walk out on the date!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    Trust your instincts,

    If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, and acts like a rat....it's a rat.
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Feb 20, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    Angelix90 said
    SeattleGreenlake saidWhat does your gut tell you?

    If you have doubts in your gut- listen to them.



    Or heart. Listen to your heart ----- Roxette


    Well my heart says yes because he basically ticks all the boxes of what I look for in a guy but my gut says meh

    Lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    Based on your description...it is very clear to me that he is quite unstable person...
    looks like a childish behavior to me!

    He is young...but many people even after the age 18 their brain doesn't mature enough to be in a relation ship...(trust me some people doesn't mature even if they reach 25,30 etc.,.)

    If I were you, I would leave this kid alone...in his own world...
  • Shenyu

    Posts: 47

    Feb 20, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    I would think that he does not really know what he wants, hence flirts around or even date a number of people on the same time?

    Anyway, texting in front of other i considered rude ...so u better end it before things too complicated...
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Feb 20, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    What do you think? Do you see how all the signs are adding up that he's a player? Are you willing to look the other way and hope it isn't true? You hold all the answers.
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    Feb 20, 2013 6:43 AM GMT
    I was just getting up when I read the caption. I thought it said "Is he doggy or not?" It seemed interesting...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 7:56 AM GMT
    People put up all sorts of fronts when they meet someone new and he is probably doing that, and inferring from what you have said, he is chatting up lots of other men.

    My advice, which I hope would save you from heartache, would be to steer well clear from intimate relations unless you feel that you want to commit to him and stay together for life.

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    Feb 20, 2013 7:59 AM GMT
    You can't really control the fact that he's getting messages on his phone... Stop over-analyzing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 8:12 AM GMT
    He find normal to ask you to trust him (asking to go through your phone) and at the same time tells you he doesn't trust you and/or prefer to keep information hidden to you (refuse to reciprocate for with a look at his phone).

    If you think as you said, that he ticks all your boxes, I strongly advice you to add one or two boxes in your list.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 1:30 PM GMT
    Mrap saidYou can't really control the fact that he's getting messages on his phone... Stop over-analyzing.

    No problem in getting messages on his phone but answering them all in mid-date tells you all you need to know.
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    Feb 20, 2013 1:32 PM GMT
    Sounds like a shady lady- run away.
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    Feb 20, 2013 1:58 PM GMT
    He's either a drug dealer, a manwhore or a pimp. Seriously, though, your relationship is quite new. Perhaps he's still hesitant to share things with you. It does sound like he's hiding something, but that may well be because he's not quite ready to let you into his life. Enjoy the "relationship" and don't expect too much at this point. If the relatioship develops further, then your expectations should increase proportionately.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 3:20 PM GMT
    He is not gong to commit ; too young and too wierd! Every thing is fetchy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 20, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    Some of those seem odd, but not necessarily deal breakers.
    It looks more like you're looking for any reason to not see him.
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Feb 20, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    Macaque saidSome of those seem odd, but not necessarily deal breakers.
    It looks more like you're looking for any reason to not see him.


    I am definitely not looking for a reason not to see him, I like him!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 6:01 AM GMT
    Trust your instinct. Then your heart. If your heart matches, good to go. If not, instinct takes the win. Your heart listens to your desires. Desires tend to get ya in troubles.