This boy needs motivation! Please help...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 07, 2008 1:02 AM GMT
    OK boys...

    Here's the deal...

    I've been working out for a good year consistently about 4 times a week...

    I was sort of happy with the results but I found that it wasn't enough so I took a month or so off... which now lead to 2 months...I wasn't getting bigger I wasn't losing the "gay fat" I felt like I couldn't get a chest or lose the little bit of belly...

    I didn't know if I wanted to get bigger or just tighten everything

    I paid a trainer and found that I spent too much money for someone who just wanted money...

    I tried so hard to find someone to work out/lift with but no one wants to...

    I guess what I am tired of is trying to figure out what works and what doesnt for me...

    I have been told, your eating to much vs. your eating too little, I've been told that I should do NO cardio if I'm trying to build vs. I should do at least 45 mins after every workout...I've been told I should keep a food diary vs. just eat...

    I just need some motivation....can you guys help a brother out??

    Thanks!
    Eric
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    Oct 07, 2008 1:15 AM GMT
    Motivation comes from within. But here's a method I've used to inspire motivation, using feedback.

    When I taught college PE for several years, I had my students create progress graphs for themselves. These portrayed reps and speed for various exercises I had them do. Simple line charts, they showed their progress over time, the lines going up or down like a stock market report.

    Their motivator was to move the line ever higher. That visual cue was both an objective indicator of progress and an incentive. Not one of my students ever failed to move their line significantly higher during the course of a semester.

    Most health clubs I know use a similar method. Your own gym or health club may have preprinted cards for this purpose. Computerized versions are hi-tech, but I still like the paper card you can take over to your apparatus.
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    Oct 08, 2008 1:25 PM GMT
    muchmorethanmuscle saidSo....

    What is "gay fat?"


    HA! I knew someone would ask that...

    I was watching a television show once where this personal trainer, who was gay, was saying that he wasn't fat he was "gay fat"...which basically meant... that gay men are so hard on themselves for thinking that they are fat even if the rest of the world thinks they look amazing....

    It's the idea that even skinny or muscular gay men are so picky with when they have a little belly when they look in the mirror they see themselves as 400lbs even if they are great looking....

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    Oct 08, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
    Find an old picture of yourself, preferably in less clothing, and pin it up somewhere and look at it EVERYDAY!!!!!
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    Oct 08, 2008 2:52 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidFind an old picture of yourself, preferably in less clothing, and pin it up somewhere and look at it EVERYDAY!!!!!


    ...and then post a photo of where you want to be. Giving yourself a visual image of where you've been and where you want to end up will better enable you to keep going. Believe me, major changes in your body take longer than just one year. Hell, I've been working out and watching my diet for almost 2 years now. Although the muscle gain and fat loss has been slow, it's definitely noticeable.

    I also suggest reading articles in Muscle and Fitness (this magazine has helped me immensely), on bodybuilding.com and also here on RJ. Advice from RJ members is amazing...however, everyone has their own opinions. A nutritionist may be something to look into as well.
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    Oct 08, 2008 8:30 PM GMT
    Thanks guys....I will follow your advice
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    Oct 08, 2008 8:36 PM GMT
    I have to agree. I been at it for 2 years and still feel like I have some work to do. I did take pictures when I first started at 175pds, I kept looking at them to watch my progress. (Pics on private gallery no nudity icon_neutral.gif) let me know if you want to see my progress. I refused to post these pics on my forum!

    I have to say that lots encouragement came from, my partner, my cousin, people telling me I look fatter or "you been getting chunky" and looking at the pics posted here of nice bodys.

    Most important. Its a life style change, from eating well to fitness! not just the wanting to look good!
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Oct 08, 2008 9:37 PM GMT
    Eplead, we've all been there. Working out can be a drag. I first joined a gym because I thought I finally had two friends to work out with. They quit as soon as I joined. It's been a lonely road ever since. But I plug away. I'd rather sit at home and watch TV than work out. Getting my butt up to get to the gym is usually the hardest part of my workout, but once I'm at the gym I usually do fine. And I always feel accomplished when I'm done.

    I've said this before, but I stopped working out when I moved to NY. I'd been going to the gym for about ten years at that point and just stopped because I didn't want to buy a new gym membership, but continued to pay my $10/mo fee for 24 Hour Fitness (they had no NYC locations) because I knew I'd likely be coming back to LA. And I did 3 1/2 years later. So the progress you see is what I've accomplished in about 21 months. I didn't gain weight in NY, but I did lose a lot of muscle. I'm doing the same routines now that I did just before I left and I've either caught up or surpassed the weights I was using then, so I'm in better shape in less that 2 years than it took me to get in 10 years of working out. The difference, I started pushing myself further. I grabbed the next size dumbbell than the one I used the previous workout, or add an extra 5 to 10 lb. plate to an exercise on the machine. Recently I added another set to my abs.

    It's not easy to push yourself. It's easy to reach a point and say, that's far enough I can't go further. But I've been getting slightly better at it. It does take discipline.

    As for diet, I don't diet. I've always been somewhat slim, so I continue to eat carbs, though I try to keep portions small. But I have moved from white to brown rice and regular white pasta to whole grain. I eat a lot of chicken and ground turkey (usually with pasta and pasta sauce). I try to eat a meal within an hour of a workout and eat some additional protein afterwards.

    Those are some of the things that work for me. If you have any specific questions, let me know. Good luck!!