Florida Man

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    Feb 23, 2013 4:40 PM GMT
    https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan
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    Feb 23, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    those are some of the most insane headlines ever.

    "Florida Man Stabs Half-Brother To Death With Sword After Argument Over Dog Feces"

    "Florida Man Slapped With Warning After Riding Dying Sperm Whale"

    "Naked Florida Man Shot In The Foot After Trying To Choke Family's Dog"

    "Florida Man Kills Roommate Over Missing Corn Dog"

    "Florida Man Accused Of Firing Gun While Driving On I-95, Told Deputies He Thought He Was Fishing"

    "Florida Man Strikes Coworker With Truck, Comes At Him With Saw"

    "Florida Man Arrested For Making His Kids Ride A Manatee Calf"

    "Florida Man Knocks On Woman's Door At 3am, Punches Her In The Face And Runs Away"

    "Florida Man Assaults Quadriplegic With A Fish"

    how about this one

    "Florida Man Hits Boyfriend With Plate For Listening To Too Much Alanis Morissette"
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 23, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    Hey Florida Man
    hB7E36A1C
  • Angelix90

    Posts: 267

    Feb 23, 2013 4:52 PM GMT
    Plot twist: They are the same person.
  • flahotstuff

    Posts: 154

    Feb 23, 2013 6:47 PM GMT
    I live here and see this shit every day!icon_evil.gif
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    Feb 23, 2013 7:02 PM GMT
    This is part of why I didn't feel bad making fun of Florida in my Youtube video bahaha.
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    Feb 23, 2013 8:32 PM GMT
    Yup, just supports everyone's belief that Florida is full of the crazies and stupids.
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    Feb 23, 2013 9:55 PM GMT
    lol, oh Florida!
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Feb 24, 2013 12:15 AM GMT
    flahotstuff saidI live here and see this shit every day!icon_evil.gif


    No joke! Me too!!

    The OP posted a week's worth of Orlando "breaking news stories."

    "Florida Man Arrested For Making His Kids Ride A Manatee Calf..." This is actually illegal here and rightfully so.
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    Feb 24, 2013 12:17 AM GMT
    Reminds me of when I lived in Miami ... all sorts of "special" people down there.
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    Feb 24, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    Ten years after graduating a top rated Miami high school I saw a headline about a former classmate, a state basketball champ who was very cute and often fawned over, which said (paraphrasing) "Florida man arrested for biting off the ears and fingers of his robbery victims."

    How did he sink so low? Recruiters didn't come calling because he was only 5'6" and with no education (he coasted through school on his athletic skill), other prospects and faded looks he hit bottom. The world at his fingertips at 17, an aged, reviled felon by 27. That's what Florida can do to you.
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    Feb 24, 2013 1:11 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidTen years after graduating a top rated Miami high school I saw a headline about a former classmate, a state basketball champ who was very cute and often fawned over, which said (paraphrasing) "Florida man arrested for biting off the ears and fingers of his robbery victims."

    How did he sink so low? Recruiters didn't come calling because he was only 5'6" and with no education (he coasted through school on his athletic skill), other prospects and faded looks he hit bottom. The world at his fingertips at 17, an aged, reviled felon by 27. That's what Florida can do to you.


    No pun intended!!!
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Feb 24, 2013 1:44 AM GMT
    That's fucking hilarious.

    I mean, well, it isn't but it is. icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 24, 2013 1:58 AM GMT
    Haha, I live here as well. I remember hearing about the Alanis one! icon_razz.gif
    Altho......to be serious......I hear kids disappear here all the time. It's the worst.
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    Feb 24, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    eagermuscle saidTen years after graduating a top rated Miami high school I saw a headline about a former classmate, a state basketball champ who was very cute and often fawned over, which said (paraphrasing) "Florida man arrested for biting off the ears and fingers of his robbery victims."
    wait like he robs them and then bites off their ears and fingers????? what the actual fuck
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    Feb 24, 2013 3:40 AM GMT
    Is he on RJ? icon_confused.gif o_O
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    Feb 24, 2013 5:02 AM GMT
    4i3JR0phan7 saidIs he on RJ? icon_confused.gif o_O

    "A new Twitter parody account, called @_floridaman, posts real news headlines about bizarre crimes happening in the Sunshine State. The catch? Every headline must begin with the words "Florida Man" — thus creating a hybrid, mayhem-causing superhero who just can't seem to catch a break. The headlines are real, as are the strange crimes they describe."

    http://mashable.com/2013/02/11/twitter-florida-man/
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    Feb 24, 2013 5:52 AM GMT
    Angelix90 saidPlot twist: They are the same person.



    Shhhh! Nobody is supposed to know it's me.
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    Feb 24, 2013 5:56 AM GMT
    McQueen said
    eagermuscle saidTen years after graduating a top rated Miami high school I saw a headline about a former classmate, a state basketball champ who was very cute and often fawned over, which said (paraphrasing) "Florida man arrested for biting off the ears and fingers of his robbery victims."
    wait like he robs them and then bites off their ears and fingers????? what the actual fuck

    Can't recall whether he did the biting before or after the robbery but I will concede this point - either way, it probably wouldn't happen in Canada.
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    Feb 24, 2013 6:14 AM GMT
    Lol this is great! Just read the story about Florida Man setting his girlfriends car on fire, when police arrive they are found having sex on the beach. icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 24, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    I lived in FL for a few years and I will always stand by my theory that they have the highest ratio of crazy people in the US.
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    Feb 24, 2013 12:00 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    4i3JR0phan7 saidIs he on RJ? icon_confused.gif o_O

    "A new Twitter parody account, called @_floridaman, posts real news headlines about bizarre crimes happening in the Sunshine State. The catch? Every headline must begin with the words "Florida Man" — thus creating a hybrid, mayhem-causing superhero who just can't seem to catch a break. The headlines are real, as are the strange crimes they describe."

    http://mashable.com/2013/02/11/twitter-florida-man/

    Following! icon_lol.gif
    There's a floridaman on RJ. icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 24, 2013 1:01 PM GMT
    4i3JR0phan7 said
    ART_DECO said
    4i3JR0phan7 saidIs he on RJ? icon_confused.gif o_O

    "A new Twitter parody account, called @_floridaman, posts real news headlines about bizarre crimes happening in the Sunshine State. The catch? Every headline must begin with the words "Florida Man" — thus creating a hybrid, mayhem-causing superhero who just can't seem to catch a break. The headlines are real, as are the strange crimes they describe."

    http://mashable.com/2013/02/11/twitter-florida-man/

    Following! icon_lol.gif
    There's a floridaman on RJ. icon_eek.gif

    I think it's a funny idea. I don't know how the Press in other States word their local headlines, and whether they often lead with "Michigan Man..." or "California Man..." etc, but we see "Florida Man" in our media all the time. Turning that into a name for a single dysfunctional superhero is really kinda clever & funny.

    Now what would his superhero outfit be, and will he be appearing for Halloween this year? And to be authentic, would he have to get into some misadventure that has him arrested, so he can become a Florida Man headline himself? "Florida Man Arrested For Crashing Halloween Party Without Invite".

    "Look! Up on the screen, there in the newstand, over the radio - it's Florida Man!"
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    Feb 27, 2013 10:12 AM GMT
    Another of "Florida Man's" recent exploits, direct from the news:

    Florida man shot by his dog, police say

    http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/26/17107343-florida-man-shot-by-his-dog-police-say?lite
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    Apr 09, 2013 11:48 AM GMT
    The legendary Florida Man has been at it again:

    Florida man accused of stealing $75,000 worth of soup

    http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/04/08/17660583-florida-man-accused-of-stealing-75000-worth-of-soup?lite