Shup up and kiss me

  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Feb 25, 2013 1:40 AM GMT
    I already hate myself from bringing back one of the most beaten subjects on RJ, but I'm giving it a new angle... I think

    So, after Youtube sujested me to watch this movie from 2010 called "Shut Up and Kiss Me" it left me wondering.


    My question is FOR THOSE THAT ACTUALLY WATCHED IT (and I totally recommend it), been on Ben's position and knowing HIS background, do you think he took the right choice at the end?

    Note that I'm asking from his point of view instead of from your personal point of view. Try to put yourself in his shoes and think... did he compromised too much?

    I think he did compromise too much and lost more than he gained.



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    Feb 25, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    Interesting, I have to watch it now.
  • Kairr

    Posts: 239

    Feb 25, 2013 5:40 AM GMT
    [quote]
    Note that I'm asking from his point of view instead of from your personal point of view. Try to put yourself in his shoes and think... did he compromised too much?

    I think he did compromise too much and lost more than he gained.



    [/quote]

    Asking for an unbiased opinion hum? icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif

    Yay free movie on youtube
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    Feb 25, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    I detest movies filmed this way.What do you call this like "real time".Looks like a Han held camera was used.Who knows what I mean?
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    Feb 25, 2013 6:51 AM GMT
    OK, I watched the movie. Thanks, it was great. To answer your question; in a plot or life situation like that, I think that once Ben made the decision to stick with the guy based on what was the right thing for himself, there's a good outcome.
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    Feb 25, 2013 8:16 AM GMT
    Saw it, liked it.
    As for Ben's situation( He's hot btw), I get the Love is accepting as he is part but...
    If his boyfriend is HIV+ and promiscuous, there's a lot at stake here. First of all, is he doing it safe? Second, the compromise went too far, though I do understand Ben's decision.
    Hmmmm I don't know, it's very tricky....
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    Feb 25, 2013 8:21 AM GMT
    i really enjoyed it, until the last 45 seconds... fuck that. i'm sorry, stay true to yourself. Ben should not have changed his ideals about monogamy.. i know i wont.
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    Feb 25, 2013 8:23 AM GMT
    Zsquared saidi really enjoyed it, until the last 45 seconds... fuck that. i'm sorry, stay true to yourself. Ben should not have changed his ideals about monogamy.. i know i wont.


    Yeah I won't either, I'm very monoamorous.
    That's why Ben's decision is tricky.
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    Feb 25, 2013 8:29 AM GMT
    i just watching the naked scenes
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    Feb 25, 2013 8:30 AM GMT
    sujested
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    Feb 25, 2013 8:52 AM GMT
    Just watched it.

    I don't agree with how it ended, definitely wouldn't have made the decision the Ben made, had I been in his position. He gave up a lot to be with this guy, and throughout the relationship hes going to give more and keep being hurt.
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    Feb 25, 2013 10:07 AM GMT
    Zsquared saidi really enjoyed it, until the last 45 seconds... fuck that. i'm sorry, stay true to yourself. Ben should not have changed his ideals about monogamy.. i know i wont.


    Thank you!
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Feb 25, 2013 11:29 AM GMT
    My BF's pov: Ben did the right thing by sticking to the guy that was honest to him from the beginning.

    My POV: He is allowing himself to be used as a doormat and is a matter of months before he is heartbroken again.
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    Feb 25, 2013 11:43 AM GMT
    I want to date Ben. icon_redface.gif
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    Feb 26, 2013 2:10 AM GMT
    I detest the ending...
    But would have done the exact same thing.
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    Feb 26, 2013 2:13 AM GMT
    Can I just add I am shocked this has stayed up on youtube.

    The "love" scene towards the end... woah...

    I thought youtube booted that kind of content off. Don't get me wrong, I am not the slightest bit upset about it. I just expected it to be removed by now.

  • Feb 26, 2013 2:38 AM GMT
    That's a cute guy!
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Feb 26, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    TheQuest saidCan I just add I am shocked this has stayed up on youtube.

    The "love" scene towards the end... woah...

    I thought youtube booted that kind of content off. Don't get me wrong, I am not the slightest bit upset about it. I just expected it to be removed by now.


    I know!

    Aso, the director/editor made such a good build-up toward that scene that when the time actually came I was as hard as the main leads icon_redface.gif
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    Feb 26, 2013 4:12 AM GMT
    I watched it a couple years ago. It's perfectly in line with my train of thought: Honesty is better than "monogamy" (which in most cases, is a lie within itself).
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    Feb 26, 2013 6:41 AM GMT
    1. SELL OUT. Wow, really? People out there buy this bullshit? Grey is a total douche bag... never would i ever accept this kind of behaviour. Honesty over monogamy? what a crock of shit! "I told you from the beginning that this is who I am" will never cut it. The argument that he can't help it/didn't plan for it/it's meaningless is all garbage.

    2. Thanks for sharing this movie, I hadn't heard of it before. You can tell the filming and acting is pretty budget/amateur hour, but that's pretty much a given in gay film... How YouTube is allowing this (at times, pretty much porno) is beyond me though.

    3. Regardless of Ben being ok with Grey's bad habit of accidentally getting a quick squeeze in on the way home from work, the fact that Grey is HIV + can't be ignored. Of course it's just a movie, and there's no details given about the randoms involved in the hookups - but you'd think that monogamy would be even more important in this case?

    4. SELL OUT! SELL OUT, I SAY! Boooo-urns!
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    Feb 26, 2013 6:38 PM GMT
    **Spoiler Alert**

    So let me get this straight, the moral of this story is:
    compromise / dismiss your integrity and core values for "love".....?

    Ben: " I always thought I wanted a monogamous relationship,..... but now I realize honesty is more important than monogamy."
    icon_confused.gifhuh?

    Meanwhile Ben falls to pieces after each indiscretion...Oh but that'll get better right?....cuz he says he loves you.....right?

    The ending scene wraps it all up in a pretty bow with a definition of "Love" :
    ( some kind of bullshite about "accepting differences"....)
    A lovely thought.....'cept Grey doesn't accept Ben's "differences".....
    Oh well, c'est la vie.

    Sex addiction is no different then any other addiction; it does harm to self and others.
    Grey gets to have his cake and eat it too , Ben's self-worth and self-respect diminishes in the process....some love story.

    Seriously, this is one film that calls for an "alternate ending".
  • TicoTaz22

    Posts: 406

    Feb 26, 2013 8:09 PM GMT
    Zsquared saidi really enjoyed it, until the last 45 seconds... fuck that. i'm sorry, stay true to yourself. Ben should not have changed his ideals about monogamy.. i know i wont.


    Agreed... ending just made me angry.
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    Feb 26, 2013 8:30 PM GMT
    Don't get a lot of this movie, but the ending is just dumb.

    Btw, who lights candles plays soft music and masturbates to their pc? Is his a generational thing that Im not getting?
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    Feb 26, 2013 8:35 PM GMT
    GordHunter saidSex addiction is no different then any other addiction; it does harm to self and others.
    Grey gets to have his cake and eat it too , Ben's self-worth and self-respect diminishes in the process....some love story.

    Agreed! Though Ben knew what he was getting into upfront.

    Lets look at this in another context. If Grey had a gambling problem and told Ben that "I gambled away the house and that we are young and can go out and earn more money because it is only money.. and I am who I am and set in my ways and cannot change.." Would have Ben replied that "Honesty is greater than Love and you can continue gambling away our money while we go out and keeps working to make more.. because I love you".. really??!! REALLY!!
  • andreduce

    Posts: 76

    Feb 26, 2013 9:18 PM GMT
    Dominican_Gent saidMy BF's pov: Ben did the right thing by sticking to the guy that was honest to him from the beginning.

    My POV: He is allowing himself to be used as a doormat and is a matter of months before he is heartbroken again.


    I agree with your POV. This Ben guy is a very attractive, masculine, gentle person, which is awesome and wonderful, but it also makes him so, SO vulnerable to the world in which he is trying to find a mate in. It is indeed very sadicon_sad.gif. This other guy simply does not 'get it.'

    And actually, that reminds me (*steps up on his soap box), I turly TRULY do not understand the point of view that some gay men have about somehow honoring the fact that open relationships are ok SIMPLY for the fact that they pose as a distance perspective from the hetero-normative lifestyle. Its like saying, "Since im gay, its ok to cheat on my partner" .....wtf.

    Anyways, point is, this poor Ben guy is now living a lie, and has not really 'accepted' anything except a douche bag into his life.

    Sorry I know that was a little intense, but to me....its complete bullshit.