So I wanted to ask y'all:
1) has someone ever used that as an excuse to break up with you and what was your reaction to it as a reason and/or
2) have you ever used it as an excuse to break up with someone and what made you feel that way or
3) neither but you have an opinion on it
I had a BF who used that exact expression on me all the time. It wasn't to break up, though, but to explain why he wouldn't agree to my proposal that we become exclusive partners together.
Finally after 2 years I had enough of rejection, of dating but also sometimes sharing him and living alone, since I am by nature a "married" kind of guy, and monogamous, too, when in an LTR. So I moved away to find what I wanted, and 9 months later was with another guy. But just a couple of weeks after he & I announced our partnership (but I hadn't told the ex-BF yet, though he knew we were dating and serious) my ex phoned me, to say he was coming to look for a place to buy and to live with me as my partner!
My absence made him realize he loved me after all, he explained, and now he wanted to become my partner. I broke the news to him that I had moved on, and had made a commitment on which I wasn't going to renege.
When he wanted to know why I hadn't "waited" a little longer for him, I reminded him of his own words, spoken so many times to me in declining to become my partner: "Bob, I love you, but I'm not IN
love with you." Wasn't I supposed to believe you, I asked him? I took you at your word, you said it often enough to me. You even repeated it on the phone after I had moved away.
Now you're suddenly reversing yourself, after I did wait, for over 2 years for you to change your mind? He replied he'd been giving me "hints" on the phone since I'd left, but again I reminded him that any weak hints were mixed in with repetitions of those words I hated to hear.
And so a guy's use of those words lead me to break up with him, not him with me, and then I used those same words to remain broken up with him, and refuse a reconciliation.