So what's your take on this email I received?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 5:03 PM GMT
    So the other day I open my message and find this. I don't know this person, have never communicated with him, never looked at his profile so I was taken aback a little when I read this.

    I should say that I've responded and had an interesting dialog with the person and it's not been all pleasant but I'm curious as to how you would have responded or even if you would. Please don't post that I should just tell him to F-off, that's not really my style. I'm not going to dime the guy out, if he wishes to respond in the forum, great but I might include some exerts of the other messages if comments warrant it.


    I have read some forums where you said that you was married with a woman. I personally don't like to get involve with bisexual or married and divorce men because I believe that a man who was married or were involved sexually and emotionally with a woman is not gay and doesn't understand what a real gay guy is looking for.
    Sorry I can't stand dishonesty and lies.
  • Fable

    Posts: 3866

    Feb 27, 2013 5:22 PM GMT
    excerpts ***


    I would troll the shit out of the message sender. Like pretend to misunderstand/ reply with flame bait.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 5:24 PM GMT
    I would ignore it with all the other crap I get sent to me online.
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    Feb 27, 2013 5:36 PM GMT
    eb925guy said.


    I have read some forums where you said that you was married with a woman. I personally don't like to get involve with bisexual or married and divorce men because I believe that a man who was married or were involved sexually and emotionally with a woman is not gay and doesn't understand what a real gay guy is looking for.
    Sorry I can't stand dishonesty and lies.



    I would have highlighted this part, told him I (you) was married and for him to have a nice day. The only purpose of the email is for him to let you know that he is judging you. Not really a person that I would want to have a conversation with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 5:44 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidSo the other day I open my message and find this. I don't know this person, have never communicated with him, never looked at his profile so I was taken aback a little when I read this.

    I should say that I've responded and had an interesting dialog with the person and it's not been all pleasant but I'm curious as to how you would have responded or even if you would. Please don't post that I should just tell him to F-off, that's not really my style. I'm not going to dime the guy out, if he wishes to respond in the forum, great but I might include some exerts of the other messages if comments warrant it.


    I have read some forums where you said that you was married with a woman. I personally don't like to get involve with bisexual or married and divorce men because I believe that a man who was married or were involved sexually and emotionally with a woman is not gay and doesn't understand what a real gay guy is looking for.
    Sorry I can't stand dishonesty and lies.

    Well, there's a member in Australia who posts these views in the forums, but your guy writes better than him. Point being that some guys hold these hostile & judgmental views of formerly married gay men, like me.

    Mostly younger ones who can't conceive of what the world was like just a few short decades ago, when even gays who knew their true orientation got married anyway, because of societal pressures, and having few better options. Or like me, raised on widespread stereotypes that caused us to remain in denial, thinking we were straight, but just not much interested in females.

    But why would someone shoot this to you from out of the blue, without provocation? That's what I find the weirder aspect of this, not the holding of these mistaken views.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 5:51 PM GMT
    I don't try to convert people with opposing points of view on morality or politics. It never works. Debate only serves to solidify people's own biases. Only through enduring a major life event will that person change, not through a cumulative barrage of little ones.
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    Feb 27, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    dudewithabeard said
    eb925guy said.


    I personally don't like to get involve with bisexual or married and divorce men


    I would have highlighted this part, told him I (you) was married and for him to have a nice day. The only purpose of the email is for him to let you know that he is judging you. Not really a person that I would want to have a conversation with.

    I considered this but really wanted to have a conversation about why he felt this way. Based on the few emails back and forth, I think I can draw some conclusions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    Mostly younger ones who can't conceive of what the world was like just a few short decades ago, when even gays who knew their true orientation got married anyway, because of societal pressures, and having few better options. Or like me, raised on widespread stereotypes that caused us to remain in denial, thinking we were straight, but just not much interested in females.

    But why would someone shoot this to you from out of the blue, without provocation? That's what I find the weirder aspect of this, not the holding of these mistaken views.

    Interesting observation Art, he is a younger guy and the discussion regarding differences in generations has be brought up. I don't think he truly gets it but because he knows guys my age, he thinks that having gotten married was dishonest and misleading. He's not alone in that thought process I know but making bold statements without opening a dialog to find out why baffles me.

    He's indicated that he's been burned by a couple of married guys in the past which I personally, although he disagrees, think contributes to some resentment about all married guys. I've also expressed that, in my opinion, married guys that finally come out probably have as much or better understanding of what a gay guy is looking for than those who have never been married.
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    Feb 27, 2013 6:01 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidI don't try to convert people with opposing points of view on morality or politics. It never works. Debate only serves to solidify people's own biases. Only through enduring a major life event will that person change, not through a cumulative barrage of little ones.
    Probably true but perhaps when that 'major life event' occurs I can only hope that some of my comments resonate for him.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Feb 27, 2013 9:44 PM GMT
    I wouldn't even worry about it. Misery loves company...and has awful grammar.
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    Feb 27, 2013 10:16 PM GMT
    great_scott saidI wouldn't even worry about it. Misery loves company...and has awful grammar.
    True. I really think the guy has been burned and formed inaccurate opinions about all guys that were married. Also, he's not from the US so I think that's the reason for the grammatical inconsistencies.


    yourname2000 saidDon't worry about it...everyone knows TBA is insane. icon_rolleyes.gif
    LOL Well, I wouldn't say this guy is insane but I'd say he clearly has some issues to deal with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 27, 2013 10:19 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidDon't worry about it...everyone knows TBA is insane. icon_rolleyes.gif
    +1
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Feb 27, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    coo coo ... delete
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    Ahhh! Another random Nastygram.

    Block, Ignore, Delete.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2603

    Feb 28, 2013 1:29 AM GMT
    Again, my choice would be to thank him for his message and then ignore him.

    It`s very strange he messaged you without any prior contact, even as basic as you having viewed his profile. My thought would be like you`ve found out, he`s had some bad experiences with married gay guys, etc. He needs to work that out himself rather than accuse other guys of dishonesty and lies.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 2:08 AM GMT
    He is nuts by the way (TBA that is) but I have been getting more nasty emails here lately. Basically stating that Im old and ugly and have no right to be here lol. Ive also been getting nasty emails when I politely state in my reply Im not looking for a hook up or relationship (with someone in the US) they get all nasty.

    I ignore
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 2:35 AM GMT
    Wait one second, we are allowed to share insane and incredibly mean emails that we receive? Holy cow, I am so going to start publishing some of the crap you people have been sending me on an hourly basis.

    Like this:
    "You ain't never gonna sex it up my chicken no more, you hear me you classless jerkwad? What you talkin' bout when you all sayin' stuff inside my head? Whyn't you fly over hear and say that when I ain't all stupid and stuff?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 2:52 AM GMT
    It's kinda annoying when people have to give their 2 cents to you directly, rather than post their thoughts in the related thread. It's like, what? You don't want everyone to know you're an ass? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Just block the dude.
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    Feb 28, 2013 3:20 AM GMT
    xrichx saidIt's kinda annoying when people have to give their 2 cents to you directly, rather than post their thoughts in the related thread. It's like, what? You don't want everyone to know you're an ass? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Just block the dude.
    Yeah, honestly I felt more like he was reaching out to chat. His approach sucked however. Further emails would indicate he's been burned by a couple of married guys who I suspect were looking more for an F-bud but he didn't learn, just became bitter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 3:22 AM GMT
    eb925guy said
    xrichx saidIt's kinda annoying when people have to give their 2 cents to you directly, rather than post their thoughts in the related thread. It's like, what? You don't want everyone to know you're an ass? icon_rolleyes.gif

    Just block the dude.
    Yeah, honestly I felt more like he was reaching out to chat. His approach sucked however. Further emails would indicate he's been burned by a couple of married guys who I suspect were looking more for an F-bud but he didn't learn, just became bitter.
    I agree. If that was his ice breaker, then he took the wrong approach. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    My response:

    Thanks for telling me your opinion. If you'd like to be friends or have a dialogue, I'm open to it, otherwise, have a good day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    ^_^

    My response would have totally been along the lines of:

    tumblr_lz9kogFNGt1qi4hpuo1_400.gif



    and if he needed to hear it....

  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Feb 28, 2013 4:53 AM GMT
    There are some ridiculous weirdos out there. I'm with Gamrican: Delete and Block!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Feb 28, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    I'm a little confused.
    --You used to be married to a woman ?
    --You still are married to a woman ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 4:59 PM GMT
    Webster666 saidI'm a little confused.
    --You used to be married to a woman ?
    --You still are married to a woman ?

    No need for confusion, yes I was married to a woman for many years. I came out late in life (4 years ago) and I'm now in a relationship with a guy. My ex and I are great friends and she and my kids are all fine with my partner and me.