mikey78 saidHowever I need to be able to like myself and know that I can be a masc man and still prefer guys. Thats one of the reasons why im on this website. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
It was the realization that "masculine guys" can be gay that destroyed my denial mechanism about myself, my delusion that I was straight. I had done every masculine-guy kind of thing (Army career, motorcycling, outdoor living & hunting, you name it, except for team sports), and that made me believe I was straight, despite my strong attraction for men, and my marginal interest in women. But hey, can't be gay if I act like a butch man, no limp wristing, no lisping and faggy voice, right?
I was held hostage by the stereotypical image that dominated in my day, of what a gay man was. Not fitting that image, I incorrectly concluded I therefore couldn't be gay. It sounds like you might be in a similar predicament.
Gay men can be masculine, and some are feminine. In fact, my observation is that the majority are masculine, and very few truly feminine. But that's OK, too, act as fem as you want, I'll still respect you for being my brother.
I'll also tell you, as a career US Army Officer who knows a little something about the business of bravery, that even the most feminine of gay men are actually pretty damn tough when pressed. I've said here before that I'd rather have a gay man at my side in a crisis than most straight men. Again, forget the stereotypes, gay men are stronger than you might guess, not wimpy pansies at all in an emergency. I've seen it for myself, and I'm a guy who would know.
When I came out I faced the problem that most of society said being gay was a sick perversion, a disorder, an abnormality needing correction, often dismissed as laughable. For about 2 hours that bothered me.
But then I turned the argument around. I know I'm a good & decent person. I was before coming out, and I was afterwards, the same person. Therefore, if I am gay, then being gay can't be evil, because I'm not evil, and it was the homophobes who've got it wrong. It was as simple as that. My self-confidence is that strong, and I hope yours is, too.
So I ask you - are you evil and bad? If you're not, then neither can being gay, a natural state that is not your choice. Don't listen to doctrinal dickheads who preach from an ancient book of dubious provenance that has no validity in the year 2013. You remain the good person you always were. Do you see where I'm going with this?
If you don't buy into the stereotypical images of WHO is gay, then likewise don't buy into the stereotypical images of WHAT is gay. I think that will solve your predicament.