3 way relationship

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    My friend has just entered into a 3 way relationship.
    I am not entirely sure of the dynamics but he has been seeing 1 half of the couple for a while and now he has moved in and they are all living together as. 3 way.
    I fear for him a little. I think he was under the impression that the guys were no longer in a relationship and yet they obviously still are.

    How many of you guys have experienced this?
    How many of you have taken a 3rd into the relationship and if so why?
    Have any of become the 3 rd guy and if so how did it work out emotionally and physically?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 4:27 AM GMT
    Just...no
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    During 10 years with my bi guy we played with pretty much everyone, separately and together--we were crazy back then--but never seriously getting involved with them. There were two chicks who tried to move in on him emotionally and I just let it play out, having faith in my bud, knowing he would not abandon me.

    The first one who I didn't particularly care for let him know that she didn't want me to be with him and that quickly ended her. I don't even recall her name she was gone so fast. The other stuck with us for about a year, and I don't know if she tried to make it more serious but it wound up that she and I remained friends while he wanted nothing to do with her. He never interfered with my friendship with her after they were no longer having sex so I doubt she tried to hurt me by trying to take him for herself; though in retrospect, if she had acted that way, it's possible he wouldn't have shared that with me so that I could continue enjoying her friendship.

    I understood and accepted my bud's nature as a practicing bisexual, never would have denied him that, and though I don't like chicks sexually, I can love them, so I allowed for the idea that we might one day have become a fully fledged--not a three way, ewwww, but a--threesome. Life is strange and you never know who you might fall in love with. Whatever works. The ultimate complication though would have been marriage.

    As partnered nonmarried people it can work but you must be confident, loyal, trusting and especially respectful of each other's lives as individuals. If your friend is the type of person who requires his "better half", it ain't gonna play. Two whole people can be with a third but not two halves. With my bud we were so close that we were the same person in two bodies so we could have embraced anyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 5:00 AM GMT
    Doomed to fail.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 5:02 AM GMT
    People who enter such relationships are emotionally unstable.

    They don't have the capability of being emotionally attached.

    Same goes for open relationships
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 5:03 AM GMT
    I just don't even understand wanting to do that.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Feb 28, 2013 5:04 AM GMT
    as someone who is polyamorous, it sounds as if you're having the problem, not him
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Feb 28, 2013 5:07 AM GMT
    glutamine saidPeople who enter such relationships are emotionally unstable.

    They don't have the capability of being emotionally attached.

    Same goes for open relationships


    congratulations for being the dumbest person in this thread... at first it seemed like it was going to be tough choice... but then you came along and set a new low for logic
  • Dan10kg

    Posts: 34

    Feb 28, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    I would rather be with one man, I have known many people and sometimes it works but most of the time its a one sided dynamic. Facts are if you put two whores together it makes sense, just don't try changing a Pig into a Gentleman, it never works. All Men are Pigs, but there are many levels of Piggyness. Let your friends decide what they should do in their own lives. If they complain about it, you have to tell them to grow up and deal with the choices they have made.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    I've never experienced this in any way shape or form.

    Sounds a bit crazy to me though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    glutamine saidPeople who enter such relationships are emotionally unstable.

    They don't have the capability of being emotionally attached.

    Same goes for open relationships


    Your opinion. .
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Feb 28, 2013 5:15 AM GMT
    calibro said
    glutamine saidPeople who enter such relationships are emotionally unstable.

    They don't have the capability of being emotionally attached.

    Same goes for open relationships


    congratulations for being the dumbest person in this thread... at first it seemed like it was going to be tough choice... but then you came along and set a new low for logic


    You're right, these relationships can work. Thing is, they rarely do...
  • Eccomi09

    Posts: 203

    Feb 28, 2013 5:23 AM GMT
    I disagree with those who are disparaging open and poly amorous relationships. They can, have, and do work. I isn't a novel fad that arrived in 1970; it's been existing for generations upon generations. Victoria Woodhull, a suffragette and first woman to run for president, advocated this in the 1870s. It's not novel.

    That said, of it is as the OP describes, and the three-way relationship was based upon deception where he thought they were split up and weren't, then that is likely not a very solid foundation. Communication is the key.
  • Eccomi09

    Posts: 203

    Feb 28, 2013 5:24 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidDoesn't hurt to try. Couldn't be worse than this http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3050374


    Yah that dude's post is a shit show. I replied but what was I thinking?!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 5:25 AM GMT
    OMGicon_rolleyes.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Feb 28, 2013 5:29 AM GMT
    I've heard of these type of relationships. They require a very delicate balance. Not gonna knock them down. I believe in open relationships. To each, his own. Or several owns.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 7:50 AM GMT
    I've actually been really wanting to try a polyamorous relationship, I think it would be a good experience, probably tell me a lot about myself as a person that I wouldn't realize without it. I've always felt like I could make this kind of relationship work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 8:04 AM GMT
    Polyamorous relationships work.

    You friend's relationship has too many red flags.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 8:28 AM GMT
    Kai808 saidJust...NO.


    DITTO.
    I don't like to share.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 11:25 AM GMT
    If it works, good, if not, oh well. Read a lot of the posts on here, many relationships are failing, the ones between two men, so stop with the advice that three could never work. Many relationships never work. Every relationship does not work, until one does, and maybe that one will be unconventional.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Feb 28, 2013 12:14 PM GMT
    Everyone gets to decide for themselves what works for them.

    I have known couples who took in a third. One observation is that there seems to be more of a connection between the "new guy" and one of the couple, rather than an equal balance between all three. My sense has been that the other half of the couple has resigned himself to the new reality of the relationship, but isn't entirely happy about it. In other 3-way relationships I've seen, the shine often wears off the "new guy" after a while, and he becomes sort of an appendage but not a full equal in the partnership.

    They can work, but I think it's a very delicate balance requiring sublime mastery of one's ego and insecurities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 1:04 PM GMT
    All I can say is that would just not work for me. It's not because I've been socialized that it is wrong. It's just that I don't need two guys. I hardly need one guy lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 1:17 PM GMT
    It's more common than you think. I've known my fair share of guys in three-way relationships. None have lasted longer than a 2-3, and few ended well.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 2:21 PM GMT
    No one, except the people involved in the relationship, is in a position to judge whether your friend's three-way relationship is (or will be) successful. As you said, you don't know the dynamics of their relationship. It may well be that a three-way relationship works for them. It may not be an option for some of us, but if it works for other people then be it. More power to them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 28, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    Never been in one, don't think I could either. Dealing with one other persons feelings emotions etc is more then enough. Plus I am an insanely jealous person anyone else kissing the guy I want to be with isnt going to work. But I do know couples who are open or in a three way and the situation works, it's a case by case situation. But for me those aren't options