I think me being celibate is driving me crazy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 28, 2013 10:58 PM GMT
    And will for the rest of my life.

    Man just thinking bout it makes me sad. Makes me wish born a female. But that's a slap in the face to God. I know He makes no mistakes. I guess I'm asexual. I'm young and it seems to be more temptation since there are is an abundance of gay men.

    I can't say men made me happy. Cause for me it was just temporary. It was a grasp at the wind. emptiness filled my stomach. Hurt, dismay, and anger became constant. I learned they never loved me just wanted to screw me [over] like a jack-legged worker running out on his project. Left me absent of their presence thought he was my wishing present. But the phone calls I would wait for made me feel even more insecure. They wanted less but I wanted more. My flesh made me a who're. I thought it would be for sure. It was just paramour. He was like a convenient store but inconveniently was the one destroyed my joy.

    Man I never got what I wanted . Love

    Takes bow
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    Feb 28, 2013 11:13 PM GMT
    I think being crazy is driving you celibate.
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    Feb 28, 2013 11:24 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI think being crazy is driving you celibate.



    Shut the fuck up u methadone abuser
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    Feb 28, 2013 11:34 PM GMT
    azariah1982 said
    paulflexes saidI think being crazy is driving you celibate.



    Shut the fuck up u methadone abuser


    Wow, that was out-of-the-blue. And a huge non-sequitur. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 28, 2013 11:39 PM GMT
    Clap


    Clap


    Clap


    No curtain calls.
    No second chances.
    Life's what you make it.
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    Feb 28, 2013 11:53 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidClap


    Clap


    Clap


    No curtain calls.
    No second chances.
    Life's what you make it.


    Yeah I know.

    I just feel so alone. My Benefactors were just good actors. I learned that everything ain't what it seem. I learned many things. Through trials and my own blunders were of great misfortune. I learned that I was a culprit as well.
    I devised and thought of things to do, planned became two things: Victimizer and Victim willfully.

    My life is like that good dream you're having and then someone awakes you up before youget to the good part.
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    Mar 01, 2013 12:17 AM GMT
    not yet George clooney
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 01, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    Hah, he does look kinda like George Clooney. That's cool.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 01, 2013 12:59 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidHah, he does look kinda like George Clooney. That's cool.icon_biggrin.gif


    Ha ha. Sup Joe.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 01, 2013 1:33 AM GMT
    Gettin high, gettin fuked. Same old, same old.
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    Mar 01, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    I think me being celibate is driving me crazy

    Correct, it is. Either jerk yourself off into sanity, or have yourself admitted for treatment.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1118

    Mar 01, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    What makes you think that there is not a good decent gay man to date and worth your while? aren't you a good decent gay man yourself? I use to feel exactly the same way as you, until it darned on me that if I fit the description of what I want in man, that it was absurd for me to think that I am the only good decent gay man left on this planet! my point being that he is out there waiting for both of you to find each other! forget about relying on technology to find him thou! join a local social group where they share your interests or hobbies. Get out more, like doing your grocery shopping a little each day at your local grocery store. Do window shopping at the mall or shopping center. Visit your neighborhood park for your daily exercise! gay men also exercise outdoors, not all of us care to go to the gym! try to attend church services more often, not all gay men are atheists you know! and perhaps the most important thing to remember, don't rely so much on the expectations in finding a perfect man; THERE IS NO SUCH THING.

    Give yourself a favor and just go outside for a minute, please take a good look around you! it is cold, windy, damp, rainy and cloudy outside right!? the trees are stripped of their beautiful lush foliage, the garden looks dead and lifeless. nothing is growing! even the evergreens look discolored as if dead! doesn't everything outside seem less then perfect, uninspiring, and hopeless!? and yet this morning when I was having my breakfast, I looked out the window on this wintry day, and noticed a Cardinal in my backyard, that awesome and rare sight made my day! a week ago while jogging in my neighborhood park I came across another jogger! he looked at me and smiled and I smiled back. He wasn't properly dressed for a cold day, so I called out his attention and suggested he should be wearing more layers of clothing; again he smiled but this time he stopped to talk to me. Til this day I still can get him out of my mind, as his expression on his face and the tone of his voice was so angelic!! a perfect stranger made a huge impression on me still til this day! Today at work a guy walked up to me aggravated and upset, because he couldn't get a satisfactory answer from my co-workers. Well after I was done helping him, he gave me a free pass to a social event next month here in town, and then asked me for my phone number!

    I guess what I am trying to make you understand is that sometimes if not most of the time, you are in charge or the creator of all good things, and of people that come into your life. Wishing for someone to cuddle with, have sex with, have a good time or spend quality time with, and wishing to spend the rest of your life with; does nothing if you can't fall in love or find beauty in the little things, or those instances where we can appreciate a person for being who they are, and not what we hope or want them to being!
  • jackooh

    Posts: 109

    Mar 01, 2013 4:16 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI think being crazy is driving you celibate.
    makes me wish there was a 'like' button for this forum hahahah funneh
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Mar 02, 2013 5:06 PM GMT
    I think your silly religion has driven you crazy.
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    Mar 02, 2013 5:25 PM GMT
    I can relate, because i'm celibate as well. For the longest time I envied my friends, because they could just go and have fun with guys, while I could not. But one day my friend came to me in tears and started spewing his heart all over my floors, and he told me, and I will never forget what he said. "I envy you, that you are strong enough to follow your values". It was then that I realized that i'm very lucky and fortunate that I've never been in his brokenhearted shoes (bless his heart)

    The moral of the story is whether you're celibate or not, we all have to go through obstacles. How you view you're position in life is completely how you interpret it.
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    Mar 05, 2013 10:03 AM GMT
    Seric saidI can relate, because i'm celibate as well. For the longest time I envied my friends, because they could just go and have fun with guys, while I could not. But one day my friend came to me in tears and started spewing his heart all over my floors, and he told me, and I will never forget what he said. "I envy you, that you are strong enough to follow your values". It was then that I realized that i'm very lucky and fortunate that I've never been in his brokenhearted shoes (bless his heart)

    The moral of the story is whether you're celibate or not, we all have to go through obstacles. How you view you're position in life is completely how you interpret it.



    That's awesome. Pretty cool to know that There are people like myself who are. I'm celibate because of my faith in God and He requires of me. "My" faith. Not anyone else's.

    A man can't make me happy. It was more so like a facade a placebo. An illusion of some sort. Like a a manti t'eo circumstance. I thought they could. But I always fell for the old okie-doke. You know this one is different gave it a try but it was either low interest or no interest. Those days are gone so let them stay where they belong..."in the past.
    .