When A Queen Needs To Be Dethroned

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    Oct 09, 2008 1:56 PM GMT
    I stopped into a gay Country & Western bar yesterday afternoon. I'm not big into C&W music or that whole scene, the boots & hat and all that, but it's a nice place, plus I know some people there. And I try to circulate among all our local gay places, because all gay bar business here is bad right now, don't want anyone failing.

    Needless to say it's also very "masculine," as opposed to some twink club or frou-frou cocktail lounge. It's kinda the same reason I enjoy RJ, because it has more of the sort of men who impress me as being men first, and gay second, the kind who challenge my gaydar (until I get them into bed).

    So I'm sitting there and who walks in but Miss Thang. And she's noisy and bigger than life, seeming to occupy a space several times larger than her already ample size. It must have something to do with those constantly swishing arms.

    And as she speaks (no, yells), so the entire bar hears every word of what should be a private conversation, every personal pronoun gets added emphasis.

    "Well, *I* just saw Bill, who told *ME* something, as I was getting into *MY* car to come here."

    I wondered where the spotlight was located so I could switch it off. And then something prompted her to do a shrill shriek, which she then repeated every few minutes for no apparent reason, literally ear-splitting. The other bar patrons exchanged displeased "whadda ya gonna do?" glances and head shakes, and the bartender rolled his eyes at me several times.

    Obnoxious people come in all shapes & sizes, genders, ages & orientations, and degrees of intoxication. But in our gay community it's the Miss Thangs who all seem to be clones of each other, all much more stereotypically alike than the original image they think they flaunt (or is that flounce?).

    Actually, some of my best friends have been queens (ahem...), and I've even been very active in the drag community, putting my theatre degree to use with lighting and other stage craft help, doing a few tongue-in-cheek turns on the stage in heels myself. But queens soon learn to curb that over-the-top, "it's all about me" crap when they're in my company. And from a theatrical perspective, I suppose it could be simply a matter of them needing some good stage direction to get their character right.

    But when they aren't getting any good direction, they are a look-alike, sound-alike anachronism that drives me up a wall. And so endth my rant for this 48-hour period. LOL!!!
  • silverfox

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    Oct 09, 2008 2:01 PM GMT
    Now there is a forum topic that I just couldn't resist looking at. icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 09, 2008 5:10 PM GMT
    Too many queens, not enough dethroning!
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    Oct 09, 2008 5:22 PM GMT
    Maverick75 saidToo many queens, not enough dethroning!


    AMEN, Brother!
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    Oct 09, 2008 6:31 PM GMT
    It does beg the question....did you dethrone "her"????
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    Oct 09, 2008 6:42 PM GMT
    Kyivite saidIt does beg the question....did you dethrone "her"????


    Nope, I kept my distance. I have no interest in staging a palace coup. Maybe I should have said "abdicate."
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    Oct 09, 2008 7:28 PM GMT
    How do you go about dethroning a queen? I'm sure it is not easy, but prob would be fun to watch/take part in.
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    Oct 09, 2008 7:29 PM GMT
    Live and let live, man.
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    Oct 09, 2008 7:31 PM GMT
    TheIStrat saidHow do you go about dethroning a queen? I'm sure it is not easy, but prob would be fun to watch/take part in.

    Pull the weave out or pick up a visibly straight guy. The loss of either makes all queens weep.
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    Oct 09, 2008 7:34 PM GMT
    Eh, everyone has a place in the royal court. Sounds to me like you've got a little of the Diva envy goin on. Let her do her thing and enjoy the entertainment.
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    Oct 09, 2008 8:50 PM GMT
    I guess if I didn't like the clientele in a restaurant or pub, my friends and I would feel free to go to better places. I have to say - I never thought of going to a country / western bar in the afternoon - or anytime for that matter. There is so much more to do than sit around twang bars. Let the lady enjoy herself - it sounds like she might be a regular there - and where else would she be able to hold court?
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    Oct 09, 2008 9:17 PM GMT
    We can let these things piss us off or we can have a good laugh and enjoy the variety. Life's much more fun when we're laughing.
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    Oct 09, 2008 9:45 PM GMT
    JUST WAY TOO MANY QUEENS!
    Enough said...
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    Oct 10, 2008 1:55 AM GMT
    OMG. the things I don't have to endure anymore. Don't remember the last time I seen one of them. Shame they don't use the real Queen Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth as a role model. But then the rest are just imitators anyway. I like to see them pull a crowed at 80.
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    Oct 10, 2008 4:38 AM GMT
    I'd probably just ignore her and do the 'live and let live' thing. But I do wonder sometimes what goes into making a person do what they do -- or what's made that queen the attention whore she is? Or what sort of issues or insecurities does that person have?

    They may or may not need de-throning, and I'm not the one to do it -- but usually there is more going on, and deeper issues than meets the eye. People act the way they do for myriad reasons, but often that is as dysfunctional as it is functional, and in those who are self centered and obnoxious there's usually more going on than just their outward behaviour.
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    Oct 10, 2008 6:45 AM GMT
    I'm pretty sure blind people can read this thread Vespa icon_razz.gif Thanks for the extra large font yall.

    Can't stand people who talk about personal matters outloud so we all get to hear... There almost if not worse then name droppers....

    Those people who just can't wait to tell you what there wearing and how much it cost when you didn't even ask.icon_rolleyes.gif The ones who when you're talking about an oil change and tire pressure somehow finds a way to slip in the fact they just bought a $300 frying pan from Williams Sonoma.. I use to date a turd like that.
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    Oct 10, 2008 10:45 AM GMT
    Their just striving for the attentation that they do not get in the daily life I would guess.
  • MuslDrew

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    Oct 10, 2008 11:55 AM GMT
    I think there are people who don't realize there is a difference between positive attention & negative attention. I think it's all positive to them.
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    Oct 10, 2008 3:56 PM GMT
    The funny thing to me is when i've seen these Queens out of drag they wouldn't say "boo"..
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    Oct 11, 2008 2:26 AM GMT
    Sean_85 saidI'm pretty sure blind people can read this thread Vespa icon_razz.gif Thanks for the extra large font yall.


    Not sure how large it actually appears on other screens, especially on PCs, since I use a Mac. Hope it's not like obnoxiously big. Not trying for attention, just readability. I tried Bolding the default font size, but then I got dinged for "shouting."

    As I mentioned in another thread, I have vision problems, which got a bit worse after another crash a few months ago. I type by touch, then do a Preview first to check what I've written, which I can see better if larger, going back and forth from Edit to Preview several times.

    Simpler for me to just Submit as is, but I can delete the sizing change first if that's annoying to others. Also lets me go back to the thread and revisit what I've Submitted. Thanks for the comment and the opportunity to mention this!
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    Oct 11, 2008 2:40 AM GMT
    Red_Vespa said
    Maverick75 saidToo many queens, not enough dethroning!


    AMEN, Brother!



    You are preaching to the quire here.

    I used to be the Events Coordinator for a glbt youth group in Boston. I organized the Seasonal dances that the youth group holds, about 1000+ 14 to 22 yo gays lesbians etc. As awesome as it was to run them and see such a huge turnout, esp when I would make it go over capacity, the number of QUEENS was ridiculous. I don't think they understand that I actually don't care about their lives and their Gucci man purses. May God have mercy on any masculine man who has to deal with QUEENS like that everyday. And the younger they are, the worse it is. With all this Paris Hilton crap and the "Reality TV" Shows like The Hills and what not, no wonder there are so many more QUEENS these days. I've met about 3 QUEENS who changed their last names to Hilton....no shame.

    I capitalized QUEENS because it represents how they are. Big, loud, and obnoxious as fuck.

    I love this Forum Vespa.
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    Oct 11, 2008 2:45 AM GMT
    Jesus, don't get so queeny.
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    Oct 11, 2008 3:18 AM GMT
    ChangeofPace said
    I capitalized QUEENS because it represents how they are. Big, loud, and obnoxious as fuck.

    I love this Forum Vespa.


    You're welcome! Aside from simply being an obnoxious person who intruded on others in a bar, not just me, the queen in my anecdote also reminded me of the kind of self-centered, disrespectful behavior that's far too common in our gay community.

    How did the term "GST" for Gay Standard Time come into being? We created it ourselves, in guilty recognition of the fact that too many of us can't be courteous and responsible enough to even arrive on time. And here again, their Royal Highnesses the Queens are the worst.

    I've "run" more drag shows than I can remember, and getting those queens to even show up in time for their own stage calls was like pulling teeth.

    [Stage Manager over headset]
    "Tom! Miss Crystal Chandelier isn't here yet! Hold the sound & lights!"

    [Tom back]
    "Isn't anybody ready back there?"

    [Stage Manager]
    "No! But Miss Tiffany Cartier can come out and work the crowd for a few minutes until we decide what to do."

    [Tom]
    "Where's she entering?"

    [Stage Manager]
    "Stage right, just hit her as she enters."

    [Tom}
    "Got it, stage right. Lemme know who's on next and where."

    And after the show I'd hear every lame excuse for lateness ever concocted by the femmy mind of man. But they'd all boil down to this: "I couldn't get my lazy ass in gear, and didn't give a damn how that impacted others depending on me."

    I went through that more times than I can tell you. And also had more gay dates arrive way late, or not at all, and others be no-shows at every kind of commitment & function you care to mention. There's no flake like a gay flake, and if we're honest we'll all admit that's true.

    So I guess I'm predisposed to have not a whole lot of sympathy, when in a bar I see a corollary example of this all-too-common behavior. If gays want to enter mainstream society, then I think it's time to shape up and get a real life, that's something beyond "Me, Me, Me."
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    Oct 11, 2008 3:44 AM GMT
    sounds like you were a little miffed that someone else was getting attention or had a different personality than yours.

    i thought it was very interesting that you felt the need to write in large and bold font.
    and i thought it was interesting that you felt you needed to think and respond on behalf of everyone else in the bar as if your were the "bar environment police" or "spokesperson" for everyone else...seems presumptuous...could we have some "pot calling the kettle 'black' " going on here ?

    no biggy. best to just let it go and don't let it affect you in such a negative manner. nobody's trying to steal your thunder, I'm sure. besides, when a "queen" as you so eloquently put it, comes into a club with a strong personality - sometimes it's funny and adds a little life to the club and people get a chuckle out of it. I would hate to go to an establishment where everyone was exactly the same, all quiet, and trying to succumb to rules of one person's version of "cool"...how boring would that be.

    best to you.

    ;)
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    Oct 11, 2008 3:55 AM GMT
    fluxu8 saidsounds like you were a little miffed that someone else was getting attention or had a different personality than yours.

    i thought it was very interesting that you felt the need to write in large and bold font...could we have some "pot calling the kettle 'black' " going on here ?

    no biggy. best to just let it go and don't let it affect you in such a negative manner.

    best to you.

    ;)


    You evidently haven't read the whole thread, or chose to ignore it. My vision is poor, as I wrote above, and have mentioned that in other threads. I've tried several tactics with RJ fonts to help me see the text I write better. I'm reluctant to use Apple assistive methods because the trade-off is clumsier use.

    And no, I'm not interested in attention in a bar, merely the opportunity to enjoy my drink in peace. A sentiment that the majority of the others present shared with me. Since they were there, and you weren't.