Share your funniest story here

  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Mar 04, 2013 5:14 AM GMT
    I figured that since laughter is good for the heart, I decided why not share some of your funniest story?
    It might make someone else's day, and/ or lift up someone's spirit who's feeling down.

    Share away!


    Me:

    So I was on the phone with a friend today and our call got disconnected because my battery died.
    An hour later I call her back to let her know that my phone was running out of power, but during that one hour period my friend really thought that there was something wrong with phone so she freaked out. She tried to fix it even though there's nothing wrong with it and she hit an electric pole and was really pissed off at me. I couldn't help but laughed my ass off but I felt sorry too. LMFAO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    I drunkenly rode a transvestite through boystown to return to my friend
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 04, 2013 7:33 PM GMT
    Do you mean real life stories or fictional ones? I don't usually write fiction but I wrote (as of this post) a dozen for the scary story group activity thread - each has a twist which I think is funny.

    Here's the link to that thread: http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3016829

    Here are the stories with brief synopses:

    “Ghostwriters” - Published author HottJoe’s in a bind. Desperate, he hires a ghostwriter who turns the tables, ensuring that anything he writes will never be read.

    “The Silence of Brokeback Mountain” - There’s more to good ‘ol Montana boy Chainers than meets the eye in this horrific tale of shoe envy. With jmusmc85 and McQueen.

    “It’s Alive!” - Fivealive informs this story of how Dr. Frankenstein and his buff assistant Eager created the ultimate fashion monster. With eagermuscle.

    “Monster on the Wing” - Real life commercial airline pilot and muscle fetishist Paulflexes is in for the challenge of his life when a monster of a different stripe attempts to crash his plane onto South Beach.

    “Likes Cats, Hates Math” - Fussy, horny Gen Z’er Writer22 decides to venture forth from the comfort of his virtual bubble to an actual gay bar in search of someone like him and learns that opposites fatally attract.

    “Poker Face” - In real life, vintage film buff Aristoshark’s the proud financier father of a champion lesbian poker player. This noirish tale revolves around his mutilated corpse as the cop, detective and coroner assigned to the case discuss how the choice of murder weapon led to his brutal killer.

    “Curiosity Kills” - In bicuriouscool’s native India, catricide’s the horrific outcome of an arranged marriage undone by a showtune.

    “Mashugana Nubian” - Inspired by his profile picture, Mashoganubian’s crazy drag persona, murdered by crowd reaction, exacts revenge in a politically incorrect nursing home.

    “Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder” - In a riff on the similarly named classic “Twilight Zone” episode, real life horseman and amateur model 7AFmark finds himself trapped in a world where ugly is the norm, and his reaction is not pretty. With headless torso MOTD.

    “Voyage of the Rammed” - Native Hawaiian Lo5t5oul5 stars as an Atlantis cruise surf instructor who becomes an unwilling passenger in purgatory.

    “Bitch Doctor” - A bitchy witch doctor finds his spells ineffective against the hypermasculine FitD. With HottJoe.

    “Director’s Cut” - Real life ‘70s horror aficionado and otherwise regular guy HorrorHound discovers the true meaning of regularity in the screening room of his favorite faded scream queen.

    **new**

    "The Boys Next Door" by eagermuscle - In an actual nightmare retold in the third person, Eagermuscle's vanity proves fatal after meeting gay neigbors expert in cosmetic procedures. With CuriousJockAZ, Ariodante and Art Deco.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2013 12:37 AM GMT
    I had an aunt who was the devil's hand maiden always causing trouble and keeping the rest of us fighting or at odds with one another. Everyone hated her but for some reason was afraid of her. My cousin and I in our thirties went up to the casket at her funeral, stuck a mirror under her nose to confirm her death with a head-bobbing "Yeah, She Dead". Neither of our mothers has forgiven us for doing something that they probably wished they could have done. There has been relative peace in the family without this member spewing her venom.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 05, 2013 1:41 AM GMT
    I can't post topics here for some reason. How about doing this one again but asking what was the best gay thing that happened to you today?
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 05, 2013 2:26 AM GMT
    One of my favorites is the comment my sister shared at her baptism.

    She was just beginning to talk and would point to things and loudly identify them.
    As the minister was going through the baptismal service there came a pause. My sister happened to notice the font, which was a wooden pedestal with a bowl sunken into it. At this point she pointed quite clearly and proclaimed, "POTTY!!" for all to hear.

    I don't think I will ever let her forget. As a matter of fact, I am waiting patiently for the time when her granddaughter is old enough to remember the story and I will tell her about Grandma's stage debut.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2013 2:45 AM GMT
    Well, if it's personal anecdotes you want...

    About 20 years ago I'm at a gay dinner party and one of the hosts mentioned that he'd been in the original cast of "Crazy for You" on Broadway. I told him I there opening night and loved the show but couldn't recall which character he played. His response: "The BLACK man."
  • Lehurrdurr

    Posts: 146

    Mar 05, 2013 4:53 AM GMT
    nabob7729 saidI had an aunt who was the devil's hand maiden always causing trouble and keeping the rest of us fighting or at odds with one another. Everyone hated her but for some reason was afraid of her. My cousin and I in our thirties went up to the casket at her funeral, stuck a mirror under her nose to confirm her death with a head-bobbing "Yeah, She Dead". Neither of our mothers has forgiven us for doing something that they probably wished they could have done. There has been relative peace in the family without this member spewing her venom.



    Hahaha OMG hahaha that's so wrong haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 05, 2013 6:48 AM GMT
    Aristoshark saidCeline Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

    Fix'd.
  • SinfulWays

    Posts: 542

    Mar 05, 2013 7:38 AM GMT
    on the 20th of Feb I learned a funny thing... Always remove your metal cock ring before entering a municipal bldg. icon_eek.gif
  • Lucky350

    Posts: 167

    Mar 23, 2013 11:17 PM GMT
    I one time got stopped by a cop!

    I had to explain the vehicle I was in, was my ex boyfriend's.

    The cop smiled and asked... "Is he cute?"

    I couldn't stop grinning!!! =)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2013 11:33 PM GMT
    Well this was a funny thing that happened this week, I am looking for a room in a flat at the moment and I arranged to look at this girl's flat. I also arranged to meet a local guy from Scruff for a drink after icon_cool.gif

    After I had finished looking at the flat I left and sent a message to him saying "Hi, I am free for a drink now if you want".

    Except I sent it to her by mistake of course. She texted back to say that she thought I had the wrong number, and the room had just gone. Which is weird because her advert is still on the website...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 23, 2013 11:49 PM GMT
    I brushed my teeth with my dad's hemorrhoid cream.....

    Early morning getting ready for school, grabbed a tube which I thought was my toothpaste. Normally kept it on top of the medicine cabinet. Apparently he thought it was a better place for his cream. Half awake, half asleep, I didn't realize what I was doing until I noticed there was no refreshing, mint flavor.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 15, 2014 6:25 PM GMT
    Funniest thing I ever saw was when I was younger....this is way back when I was in middle school 8th grade.

    Me and two friends were out goofing off down near train tracks , we did occasionally have a circle jerk , ha ha.

    We were all kind of horny as you can say so we wanted to jerk off , but Billy said he had an idea.

    Billy had seen a bottle with a big mouth opening , he went and got it.

    When he got back we did our circle jerk , BUT Billy used the bottle to cum into, when he was done he couldn't get his penis to come out of the bottle and began to panick.

    All the while laughing we helped him get dressed and home , is was hilarious to see his mom take him to the hospital.

    He told us later that the Dr said the bottle created a suction that kept his penis plump , he got a shot to help him relax and the bottle slipped off.

    We joked him all through high school but never let any one else know what happened.