Odd people on here....

  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 06, 2013 7:45 PM GMT
    A guy messaged me a few months ago, and we sent emails back and forth for a few days, and then it trailed off like so many do. That's fine. Then they messaged again and we had this conversation....


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    Him Paraphrased: Comments on how he's getting hurt all over again, just like he always does.

    ---- FROM DCEric Mar 06, 2013 at 7:20 AM
    You shouldn't worry too much, some random older married guy 1,000 miles away isn't going to be someone you have a lot in common with. We can be friends, but the people you grow close to, will be the ones you are physically closer to.

    ----
    Him Paraphrased: Complaints about being hurt by how far apart we are and that he doesn't know what to say to me

    ---- FROM DCEric Mar 05, 2013 at 6:56 PM
    Hey man. What's up?

    ----
    Him Paraphrased: Complimentary greeting.


    ------------------------

    Does this happen to other people on here? This is the second time someone has sent me messages like this.

    (and before I get blasted, the age difference is about 10 years. I'm older relative to him.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 7:49 PM GMT
    I've had similar messages. Not exactly like this, but similar. I think it happens when one person falls in love with the "idea" of another person. I try to remind these guys that they really don't know me, but lust and love are illogical. That makes them so powerful and special, I guess.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 06, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    Not so much on RJ, but on other sites I've exchanged a message or two, then they just get carried away - they want to meet, move in, have a life together - it's just crazy.
    I understand that some guys are very lonely and just want to connect with another man - but damn, get some perspective.
    If you're hundreds of miles away from someone, you're not even likely to meet let alone fall in love and live happily ever after.
    I'm not even good looking - I can't imagine what kind of creepy messages the hot guys get.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 7:58 PM GMT
    I cut way down on the crazy by simply not responding to messages from faceless wonders, especially if they're from a third world country. If it starts getting weird, I'm likely to just ignore it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 7:58 PM GMT
    I think weird people are weird. It is hard when you live in a hella small environment like bozeman so I can see how this happens but the solution is to move not fall in love with someone you don't know.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 06, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    I clicked on this thread thinking it would be about me.icon_razz.gif
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 06, 2013 8:02 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI clicked on this thread thinking it would be about me.icon_razz.gif


    I'm sure that it is.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 06, 2013 8:04 PM GMT
    showme saidI cut way down on the crazy by simply not responding to messages from faceless wonders, especially if they're from a third world country. If it starts getting weird, I'm likely to just ignore it.


    1) Not faceless.
    2) Not Third world.
    3) The guy I'm married to is a third worlder.
    4) In the foreign aid community we generally call that the Developing World- though I get trapped in the "Third World" terminology too.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 06, 2013 8:06 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidI clicked on this thread thinking it would be about me.icon_razz.gif


    haha... oh, and:
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 8:12 PM GMT
    JerseyJames75 saidI've had similar messages. Not exactly like this, but similar. I think it happens when one person falls in love with the "idea" of another person. I try to remind these guys that they really don't know me, but lust and love are illogical. That makes them so powerful and special, I guess.


    Bingo, in the bold. icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 8:15 PM GMT
    I've never gotten any mail where my relationship wasn't respected, I appreciate that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 8:40 PM GMT
    Sometimes I find the guy has already decided we are the perfect match, before the first date has happened. Invariably the date is a car crash, or we don't have a date because we have an argument over text.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 8:50 PM GMT
    Am I the only one here who doesn't get interesting emails from other guys?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 9:34 PM GMT
    Fiyero27 saidAm I the only one here who doesn't get interesting emails from other guys?

    yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 9:47 PM GMT
    You blacked out my profile picture >=/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 10:24 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidYou blacked out my profile picture >=/


    LOL!

    ...you rascal. icon_lol.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Mar 06, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidYou blacked out my profile picture >=/


    haha.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Mar 07, 2013 12:04 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidYou blacked out my profile picture >=/


    Haha XD
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 07, 2013 1:02 AM GMT
    I had that happen too, with someone supposedly from California. After a few back and forth e-mails he mentioned how bored he was in Nigeria.

    I did an image with his profile pic and discovered he used the pics of some quasi-famous person.

    P.S. Congratulations on your marriage, Eric.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:16 AM GMT
    Yep I get these emails, funny thing is they obviously dont look at where I live cause so many times they want to meet me, yet they live in the US or some other far away foreign place ;)

    Its like a 3 + hour flight to Sydney or Melbourne from here let alone 24 plus hours to the US.

    Too many guys fall in love with the idea/ fantasy and not the reality.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:35 AM GMT
    That message is just full of crazy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:42 AM GMT
    Mine are always IM requests from some 18 or 19 year old kid from some third world nation.......and they don't take no and I end up flipping IM off........and then I get some snotty email about being too old, too fat, too everything that they were praising me for originally..... odd? TROLLS!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:59 AM GMT
    I've had much worse, but not on RJ. I've had guys on dating sites convinced I was their soul mate just from reading my profile. These aren't guys from other countries who are looking to scam me either. These are local guys.

    What JerseyJames said is correct, but it applies to all of us, not only these weird, lonely types. We all form an opinion about someone online based on pictures (if any) and some words in a profile. It's not much to go on, but that's all we have. Then maybe we have some conversations through e-mail or in the forums. We get to know them better, but it's still only a small glimpse into a guy's real personality. We often get comfortable with the idea of the guy, rather than with the guy himself because we don't have that much information compared to what we'd see in real life. Sometimes, we find out later that all is not as it seems.

    I've been baffled by some of the opinions people have formed about me online. I think I'm being clear, even blunt, but somehow the wires still get crossed. I've had a difficult time figuring other people out too.

    I think the OP did the right thing by being open and honest about the situation. Beating around the bush is easier and less awkward, but it does more harm than good in the long run. There's no way to avoid guys like this, but when you do, the best you can do is be honest with them and let them down easy.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    Wow, can't say this has happened to me on any forum at all. creepy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:58 AM GMT
    JerseyJames75 saidI've had similar messages. Not exactly like this, but similar. I think it happens when one person falls in love with the "idea" of another person. I try to remind these guys that they really don't know me, but lust and love are illogical. That makes them so powerful and special, I guess.


    Wow, truth. When I first started online dating, I was like that with every guy I talked to. It's a funny feeling.