Dating guys significantly younger than yourself, or dating guys significantly older than you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 8:27 PM GMT
    What do you think of guys who date men much older than themselves. I'm talking about the ones who are 18-25 and date men that are about in their 40's and up.

    Do you think gays or any sexuality for that matter should stay dating men that are around the same age as themselves or not?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 8:33 PM GMT
    Dating age is a personal decision between the 2 men concerned. I personally have mostly stayed close to my own age, but that's just me, and doesn't have to be you.

    BTW, curious - a member here for going on 3 years, and your first post? Have you been away? And you're only now 18?
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 06, 2013 9:27 PM GMT
    What the hell difference does it make what age two men who are dating (or having sex, or whatever) are? It's their business what they do.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 07, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    Personally, I throw up a little ... but it's really none of my business, if they are both consenting adults
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:33 AM GMT
    I would like to stick with my own age, but guys my own age aren't always together or as sexy as an older guy. Needless to say I try to stick to my own age but not adverse to someone older with in reason
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    i prefer younger - most guys my age annoy me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    Dating older is just generally better.
    In my experience, at least.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    If I had a choice, I would go for my own age as close as possible. But guys around my age are either not interested or not ready to commit. So option number 2, guys <10 years older than me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 4:53 AM GMT
    Also happy to see someone finally posted about this. I try to stay close to my age give or take a few years. I have also been out on coffee dates with guys of varied ages. It all depends on where the person is in their life and what they are looking for from a relationship. I've met guys that were ready to get married, obviously that won't work for me since I'm still in college ha ha

    The most important part is finding someone you connect with on a personal and private level. Ultimately left up to the 2 consenting adults in the relationshipicon_biggrin.gif
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Mar 07, 2013 4:59 AM GMT
    Shawnathan saidSo happy that someone finally asked.


    tumblr_mj9xp6WDTC1r4jm7fo1_500.jpg
  • kevmoran

    Posts: 1543

    Mar 07, 2013 5:10 AM GMT
    I think people simplify the situation too much. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend who was 33. And of course everyone assumed that he was rich and I was dumb, and got side glances to match. Little did they know he was a broke construction worker and I was paying for dinner because I had more money than him (and was more responsible). I just happened to fall in love with him despite the age difference. That being said, I do usually prefer my more mature men. icon_redface.gif
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Mar 07, 2013 5:22 AM GMT
    Age is just a number. Attraction is purely subjective. There are so many variables to consider, really.

    It could be because guys are attracted to maturity and don't relate to guys their own age, or they may have a "daddy" fetish. It could be some kind of gay-Freudian Oedipus complex where we project our attraction onto men that remind us of our fathers.

    Conversely, it could be evolutionary--that is, we are attracted to younger mates due to their sexual prowess and fertility, etc.

    In the end, does it really matter?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 8:46 AM GMT
    I don't think I could go with a twenty year difference. I came close once I was 21 and he was 38. I appreciated the level of maturity and intellectual conversations we could have.

    My experience with guys younger than me ended in disaster. Either they were still uncomfortable with the idea of a relationship or had the "I'm young, I will live forever, let's be stupid" mentality.

    When it comes to my preferred age. I would say 2 to 7 years older than myself. Still at that age when we are finding our place in the world and still young enough so we can spend the rest of our days together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 8:49 AM GMT
    Works for me!
  • jayatl56

    Posts: 463

    Mar 07, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    My ex was 30 years younger than me. The problem, and I knew it going into it and KNEW it would eventually be a problem, was that he was totally inexperienced. I was his first love, his first lover, his first everything. After 4,5 years it went downhill because he was regretting missing 4 years of his "dating life". He asked me about having 3-somes or sex with other guys and I told him I understood what he was saying and said I didn't have a problem with him going out but two rules - he is 100% safe at all time and he sleeps in our bed EVERY NIGHT. He broke the second rule when he spent a weekend away with some guy he met online. Come to find out, they were "dating" for months. The guy, who I actually met on an 8 hour flight to NYC, said he had no idea my ex had a bf and apologized for what happened.

    With that said, it was the best 4,5 years ever! We were genuinely compatible and had lots of fun. He just got tired of being in a fixed relationship and felt tied down. Now, I'm living in the US and he's in Prague but calls me almost daily to talk.

    Regarding the topic at hand, no, I think major age differences don't work unless the older guy just accepts the fact that the younger partner WILL eventually play around.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:11 PM GMT
    I only date fellas older than myself. Far more stable and mature....usually.
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Mar 07, 2013 2:14 PM GMT
    Hothouse saidWhat the hell difference does it make what age two men who are dating (or having sex, or whatever) are? It's their business what they do.


    Ditto icon_smile.gif
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Mar 07, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    He_Man saidAge is just a number. Attraction is purely subjective. There are so many variables to consider, really.

    It could be because guys are attracted to maturity and don't relate to guys their own age, or they may have a "daddy" fetish. It could be some kind of gay-Freudian Oedipus complex where we project our attraction onto men that remind us of our fathers.

    Conversely, it could be evolutionary--that is, we are attracted to younger mates due to their sexual prowess and fertility, etc.

    In the end, does it really matter?


    Ditto icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:22 PM GMT
    We should date, have mentors, befriend, or visit in nursing homes specific people who are significantly older than ourselves

    You'll need Excel to see this chart:

    http://www.waterbearingfish.com/j_Story_and_Values.html
    Scroll to the bottom of the page and click the link on Compatibility - Chinese Astrology

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:34 PM GMT
    jayatl56 said

    Regarding the topic at hand, no, I think major age differences don't work unless the older guy just accepts the fact that the younger partner WILL eventually play around.


    I mean no offense, but isn't that presumptuous of you to say that the younger guy WILL play around? I.e. meaning all younger guys can't be in a serious relationship? That is a bit unfair to say so, my first bf was 33 I was 19 great relationship and I was loyal to him the whole time. He ended it because I moved away for college and HE could not handle me not being there. So I think it's not fair of you too group us all into one category where eventually we get bored and want to cheat or play with others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:35 PM GMT
    ...I say if you are younger and you want a daddy...
    Patch things up with your own.

    ...if you are older and you want a boy toy...
    Get a Ken Doll

    ..If you are the older alpha male domineering type, and you are dating younger for the sake of "Control"...
    ...You have many heart aches to come

    ..If you are a hot young bloke and you are preying on the heart strings of a lonely rich older guy..
    ...Technically you are a whore..

    ..If the guy who makes your heart beat faster , or makes you smile till it hurts .. makes you look at and love yourself for who and what you are....happens to be a different age than you are... Big Deal

    Go for it..
    (keep it legal and uncreepy) icon_biggrin.gif


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:49 PM GMT
    beachbu310 saidi prefer younger - most guys my age annoy me


    I would bet my last dollar that the problem is with you. Change you - change your world.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 2:52 PM GMT
    Young guys hit on me because they are available and so am I . Hot Guys my age are already taken but most guys my age are single cus they are fat and undesirable .
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Mar 07, 2013 6:23 PM GMT
    HisMajesty saidWhat do you think of guys who date men much older than themselves. I'm talking about the ones who are 18-25 and date men that are about in their 40's and up.

    Do you think gays or any sexuality for that matter should stay dating men that are around the same age as themselves or not?



    i'd say, as long as they have in 3 short term relationships with someone their own age when they are kiddies...

    HELL YA!

    Its funny, more college kids hit on me now than when I was that age.
    I dont know why but I like it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    On one level, I think it is more about emotional maturity and the place you are at in life than it is about your age.

    For example, if a 25-year-old guy is done with going out and what-have-you and is really looking to settle down and have a family, and he finds that with a 35-year-old guy...then that's great.

    However, I do think it presents a lot of issues. I also think when it is a drastic age difference (and I see this a lot where I live), so say, a 21-year-old-guy with someone over 50, it's very clearly a sketchy situation. The young dude wants someone to take care of him, and the older guy is into the young boyish look and is taking advantage in that way.