Ethnicity in the dating world

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    Being a foreigner, Middle Eastern, in Cali doesn't quite satisfy my image of America. Coming from different culture, having expectations of all what the American dream has to offer to those who need it the most.. I can say, I'm in shock that no one sees me as who I am, in the gay community, dating world. No one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall. I want to live my life, share it with that person, doesn't have to be THE person. In pursuing my dream and living it, I need my other half to complete the dream's image, for me at least. So, is the issue here is that gay men, Americans, have their own preferences? AKA, only into other Americans, white, in general?

    "People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they're all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error."
  • jtz03932

    Posts: 200

    Mar 06, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    I find it funny that the community themselves used to fight for equality... and they progressed and succeeded.... when a bigger problem already manifests within the community itself because of the individual people that make up for it.

    Everything for racism and physical discrimination.
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    Mar 06, 2013 10:53 PM GMT
    If you don't want to be judged as being a cute hairy middle eastern dude, there's always wearing a burka and letting everyone get to know you for what's inside.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 06, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    jtz03932 saidI find it funny that the community themselves used to fight for equality... and they progressed and succeeded.... when a bigger problem already manifests within the community itself because of the individual people that make up for it.

    Everything for racism and physical discrimination.


    In this situation it's all about "me, me and me" once they get what they want.. why care about others? Back then, their goals were defined, equality of everything. Hence, what made me want to live such dream only to find out the opposite...
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    Mar 06, 2013 11:53 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidIf you don't want to be judged as being a cute hairy middle eastern dude, there's always wearing a burka and letting everyone get to know you for what's inside.


    Oh, please. As if you know what I'm talking about, put yourself in my position? Don't use burka on me, if you're not quite familiar with that word... God icon_sad.gif
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Mar 07, 2013 2:31 AM GMT
    a66a saidNo one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.


    I'm not sure if my brain isn't on or something, but what exactly is the problem? Tall= good
    cute= good
    hairy= good or bad (people's preference).

    So you already have at least 2/3 things going on for you. Personally, Middle Eastern guys are my major weakness, the thing is I just don't see them out and about that often and when I do I can't tell if they're straight or not ... Anyways, just hang in there and don't get discouraged.
  • jtz03932

    Posts: 200

    Mar 07, 2013 3:01 AM GMT
    a66a said
    jtz03932 saidI find it funny that the community themselves used to fight for equality... and they progressed and succeeded.... when a bigger problem already manifests within the community itself because of the individual people that make up for it.

    Everything for racism and physical discrimination.


    In this situation it's all about "me, me and me" once they get what they want.. why care about others? Back then, their goals were defined, equality of everything. Hence, what made me want to live such dream only to find out the opposite...


    They're hypocrites that's why. As a double minority (gay and of colour) I am ashamed associated with such group.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    a66a saidBeing a foreigner, Middle Eastern, in Cali doesn't quite satisfy my image of America.
    Maybe this will help.

    pew-pew-pew.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    Rawrdo said
    a66a saidNo one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.


    I'm not sure if my brain isn't on or something, but what exactly is the problem? Tall= good
    cute= good
    hairy= good or bad (people's preference).

    So you already have at least 2/3 things going on for you. Personally, Middle Eastern guys are my major weakness, the thing is I just don't see them out and about that often and when I do I can't tell if they're straight or not ... Anyways, just hang in there and don't get discouraged.


    Sometimes good isn't enough for other men to approach me when it comes to dating, makes sense?
  • WhoDey

    Posts: 561

    Mar 07, 2013 5:44 PM GMT
    a66a saidall gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.



    Well I don't find you cute...
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Mar 07, 2013 5:49 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    a66a saidBeing a foreigner, Middle Eastern, in Cali doesn't quite satisfy my image of America.
    Maybe this will help.

    pew-pew-pew.jpg


    Ten in the magazine, one in the chamber. Go Billy Bob!!
  • jtz03932

    Posts: 200

    Mar 07, 2013 6:08 PM GMT
    WhoDey said
    a66a saidall gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.



    Well I don't find you cute...


    Ouch.
  • Diplo

    Posts: 41

    Mar 07, 2013 6:14 PM GMT
    WhoDey said
    a66a saidall gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.



    Well I don't find you cute...


    Come to Canada.. We're a lot nicer. and we have jobs icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:15 PM GMT
    When did it become so wrong to have attraction-based-preferences?

    #sorrynotsorry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:19 PM GMT
    a66a saidI'm in shock that no one sees me as who I am, in the gay community, dating world. No one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.


    Maybe because that's all you project. Look at your profile pic.

    Yes, I'm half naked in mine but I'm not whining that no one takes me seriously or only sees me as hairy and tall.

    It's all about marketing the product. You show the consumer what you want them to see. You choose to show them a half naked, hairy, tall Middle Eastern guy and then complain that that is all they see.

    Get what I'm saying?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    The fact that gay men consciously market themselves as 'a product' is a huge part of the problem in my opinion. Your a fuckin human being not a commodity.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    Mar 07, 2013 6:30 PM GMT
    oh god what does that cute-handsome-good looking-sexy OP want more ??????????
    you are the worst icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:43 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidThe fact that gay men consciously market themselves as 'a product' is a huge part of the problem in my opinion. Your a fuckin human being not a commodity.


    But like it or not you are judged, whether consciously or subconsciously, by others based on what you project to the world around you. You have to attract them first in order for them to decide whether or not they want to get to know you on a deeper level.

    This shit's not rocket science.
  • Eeeev

    Posts: 30

    Mar 07, 2013 6:44 PM GMT
    i think middle eastern guys are usually attractive *shrug* i just havent met very many of them
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Mar 07, 2013 6:50 PM GMT
    personally i think there is absolutely nothing wrong with racism/ageism/wealthism/attractivenessism/intelligenceism/etcism in your sexual preference - for friendship choices its wrong, but your dick gets to make the sex choices and well...hes a prick the little head gets to make that decision not the big head.

    there may be one thing that some guys may subconsciously have in their minds though...just to put this out there. if it is more than about just the night with the hot arab boy, but if you have white picket fences in mind, then you get into dealing with the family...levels of OUTness in that kind of situation, and if you happen to be a muslim all the issues of hypocracy THAT entails for a gay guy, or other things like that, say you got together...are we spending xmas in saudi arabia next year with the parents? ( lol ) There may be a path of least resisitance you are hitting where the typical white american guy looking at two equally hot boys goes with the white guy so he doesnt have to deal with baggage you have a high probability of possessing (sight unseen) in the long term for a guy looking at an unknown quantity in a bar (you in this case) and he goes down the path of least resisitance (not you). not saying it's right or wrong..but I think you will be always up against that.

    (note: one of my favourite skype boys is a hot arab from oz)
  • jtz03932

    Posts: 200

    Mar 07, 2013 6:51 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    a66a saidI'm in shock that no one sees me as who I am, in the gay community, dating world. No one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.


    Maybe because that's all you project. Look at your profile pic.

    Yes, I'm half naked in mine but I'm not whining that no one takes me seriously or only sees me as hairy and tall.

    It's all about marketing the product. You show the consumer what you want them to see. You choose to show them a half naked, hairy, tall Middle Eastern guy and then complain that that is all they see.

    Get what I'm saying?


    Its what gets messages in your inbox or responses. Do you think he'll get more responses for being conservative???
  • jtz03932

    Posts: 200

    Mar 07, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said

    But like it or not you are judged, whether consciously or subconsciously, by others based on what you project to the world around you. You have to attract them first in order for them to decide whether or not they want to get to know you on a deeper level.

    This shit's not rocket science.


    That's counterproductive to what you just said about marketing yourself.... That means you are deceiving them by marketing yourself as a product.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    WhoDey said
    a66a saidall gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.



    Well I don't find you cute...


    Leave the OP, and go for the man behind it. Smart move man, SMART.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:56 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    a66a saidI'm in shock that no one sees me as who I am, in the gay community, dating world. No one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall.


    Maybe because that's all you project. Look at your profile pic.

    Yes, I'm half naked in mine but I'm not whining that no one takes me seriously or only sees me as hairy and tall.

    It's all about marketing the product. You show the consumer what you want them to see. You choose to show them a half naked, hairy, tall Middle Eastern guy and then complain that that is all they see.

    Get what I'm saying?


    I was't indicating that I was "marketing" myself on here, heck, I wasn't even suggesting that what have happened to me was BASED on online experiences. All I went through, experienced, was based on real life interactions with the gay community.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 07, 2013 6:58 PM GMT
    a66a saidBeing a foreigner, Middle Eastern, in Cali doesn't quite satisfy my image of America. Coming from different culture, having expectations of all what the American dream has to offer to those who need it the most.. I can say, I'm in shock that no one sees me as who I am, in the gay community, dating world. No one takes me seriously, all gay men see is me as being a Middle Eastern; cute, hairy and tall. I want to live my life, share it with that person, doesn't have to be THE person. In pursuing my dream and living it, I need my other half to complete the dream's image, for me at least. So, is the issue here is that gay men, Americans, have their own preferences? AKA, only into other Americans, white, in general?

    "People are so busy dreaming the American Dream, fantasizing about what they could be or have a right to be, that they're all asleep at the switch. Consequently we are living in the Age of Human Error."


    Does your dream guy have to be white?..
    tumblr_inline_mf7rve4Pom1qf7x3t.gif

    I see all these topics about how white guys don't like this, or don't like that. Why are people so obsessed with white guys (not hating on you white guys)