Straight friend afraid of gay people.

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    Mar 08, 2013 12:17 AM GMT
    Today I hung out with my friend and he told me he was on a workout group on fb and one of the guys on their added him. He didn't think much of it till the guy started liking all his pics and told him he was interested in him my friend said sorry and deleted him. Then he was having lunch today and the guy just shows up to his table trying to talk to him he said he had class and left. And now he's kind of afraid the guy is going to stalk him.

    He said he's afraid of gay people.
    I told him they're just like any other people just tell the guy you're flattered but not interested.

    But he's kind of freaking out over it now.

    Anything helpful you guys think I should say to him?
    You think I handled it well?

    Thoughs/suggestions/and your stories are appreciated ;)
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    Mar 08, 2013 1:05 AM GMT
    midwesternman saidToday I hung out with my friend and he told me he was on a workout group on fb and one of the guys on their added him. lovely. He didn't think much of it till the guy started liking all his pics oh.... and told him he was interested in him ew...er...my friend said sorry and deleted him.ya, I'd be creeped out.. Then he was having lunch today and the guy just shows up *gulp* to his table trying to talk to him he said he had class and left. And now he's kind of afraid the guy is going to stalk him.sounds like he already was/is!

    He said he's afraid of gay people.well, that's unfortunate.
    I told him they're( they're...? ) just like any other people just tell the guy you're flattered but not interested. uh-huh.

    But he's kind of freaking out over it now.get over yourself Mary.

    Anything helpful you guys think I should say to him? ya. "keep your eye on your pet rabbit or it may end up in a pot of boiling water...."

    You think I handled it well? Ya, kinda....'cept does he not know you're gay?....you on the dl? if you are out then he must be afraid of you?....are you ok being friend with a homophobe?

    Thoughs/suggestions/and your stories are appreciated ;)

    Come out, be an honest, proud man and a better friend by being a good example of why he doesnt have to be "afraid of gay people".
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    Mar 08, 2013 1:11 AM GMT
    He obviously doesn't know you're gay. Come out.
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    Mar 08, 2013 3:13 AM GMT
    im afraid of men and women, gay and straight who come on too strong, dont recognize subtleness in situations, and just press themselves into a situation where some one needs to say something to get them to cool it....

    its annoying as fuck, chicks do this a lot, and so do gay guys..
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 08, 2013 4:20 AM GMT
    Well ... maybe he should have said 'sorry dude, I'm straight' ... now maybe he's got a stalker
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    it happens everywhere arabic is spoken ;)
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:37 AM GMT
    you should have had a talk with the str8 guy & consulted him why he hates or fears gays & given him examples of good gay people too , im sure he would have been puzzled for Ricky Martin ,if religion was a case dont say anything to hurt his faith , tell him that gay guy admired him but he didnt mean sexual admiration but a normal one , rather he should be happy that girls & men like him too , its a compliment for him


    im sure he'd be mild after that & forgive & forget what happened
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Mar 08, 2013 4:47 AM GMT
    well first thing is to overcome his fears.

    because if this guy is a perverted gay guy, he's just going to use the other man's timidity/passivity as an excuse to pounce extra. Because he will be the self-confident/in-charge one and thus have all the power.

    Fear paralyzes and disempowers people. It's probably the most dis-empwering force in the entire universe. As long as he has this fear, this man will capitalize on it.

    it's making the gay guy think that deep down inside he would really love it if he got over his fear, and it makes him approachable to others- a big bad wolf in the forest isn't afraid of a timid bunny rabbit shaking, afraid to do anything.

    if he really would hate gay sex, and it would disgust him- he should somehow make that more clear. sadly gay guys, especially self confident ones who aren't intimidated about anything (and that can be an annoying trait in people , regardless of sexuality) .... they can sniff fear a billion miles away.

    when fear is really repressed it can turn into violence and rage. gay guys should be careful who they hit on, sex isn't worth losing your life over lol. even if he is a closet case it's not worth it. a lot of closeted dudes are really violent. this turns some men on though, as the world isn't a pretty moral ideal like I want it to be, sadly enough. icon_neutral.gif
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:50 AM GMT
    haha this happens to me when girls hit on me
    just tell your friend to say hes straight
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    McQueen saidHe obviously doesn't know you're gay. Come out.


    No he doesn't and with an attitude like that not sure I want to tell him soon.
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:36 PM GMT
    Are you sure this guy is worth your friendship?...
    ...Uh oh... You have a crush on him?????

    ..Be careful.. Good luck man..

  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Mar 08, 2013 4:49 PM GMT
    midwesternman said
    McQueen saidHe obviously doesn't know you're gay. Come out.


    No he doesn't and with an attitude like that not sure I want to tell him soon.
    It's true. it's much more important he likes you for who and what he thinks you are rather than what you are. Don't be the change, ignore it.
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidAre you sure this guy is worth your friendship?...
    ...Uh oh... You have a crush on him?????

    ..Be careful.. Good luck man..



    No I don't have a crush on him. A gay guy and a straight guy can be friends without the gay guy having a crush on the straight guy.
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    Mar 08, 2013 5:24 PM GMT
    Well.. hopefully he accepts you for who and what you are.. icon_biggrin.gif

    ..It's sad your friend does not realize a creep is just a creep..
    ..this creep just so happens to be gay..and so are you..which makes it awkward.

    ..So maybe coming out might help.. If your friend realizes you are good to him and you just so happen to be gay..he should have nothing to worry about.!
    ...Maybe next conversation ..point this out...

    ..Most of my friends are straight so i can relate..but the fact that they know i'm gay maybe sets a standard..They know i'm not creepy !

    ..Bottom line.. a creep is a creep !!.
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    Mar 08, 2013 5:40 PM GMT


    hmmm there are hopeless ones.

    ...wait for Paul! he'll be here.
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    Mar 08, 2013 8:51 PM GMT
    Aristoshark said
    midwesternman saidAnything helpful you guys think I should say to him?

    Sure:

    1. "Stop being a stupid fucktard."
    2. "Stop being a stupid fucktard, right this minute."
    3.."Stop being a pussy."
    4. "Grow a pair, why doncha."
    5. "And while you're at it, stop being a stupid fucktard."

    There must be more, but that's it for now.



    Yeah I told him it's not like the guy is going to drug him and rape him or anything.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Mar 08, 2013 9:18 PM GMT
    It's because they're scary!icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 08, 2013 9:21 PM GMT
    Tell him that gay guys instinctually know when another guy is gay.
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    Mar 08, 2013 9:26 PM GMT
    midwesternman said
    McQueen saidHe obviously doesn't know you're gay. Come out.


    No he doesn't and with an attitude like that not sure I want to tell him soon.


    With an attitude like that he wouldn't be my friend. Come on! Afraid of gay people? In the 21st century? He's ridiculous. And you're part of the problem. You need to tell him you're gay and that you are afraid of straight people with ridiculous fears.