Gay life in the military

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    Mar 08, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    Is awesome. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know some people may have different experiences but for the most part people really don't GAF. Iv made what I believe will be life long friends, gay and straight alike while serving and still forming new relationships. We all go out to gay and straight clubs together and have a good time regardless of where we end up. I guess this turned out to be more of a statement but I felt it was nessesary due to the amount of people I have spoken to that said they wanted to join but feared isolation. I can't speak for everyone but from what iv seen most people judge based on your personality not your sexuality. If anyone have experiences or question about being openly gay in the military please post and myself or whoever will answer
  • Wolfdaddy

    Posts: 57

    Mar 08, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    Thanks for serving our country mr handsome !
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:27 AM GMT
    inspiring keep up
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    Mar 08, 2013 4:30 AM GMT
    Yep, born and raised in Norfolk, VA. Even before DADT I know far more gay people in the military than straight ones haha.

    They have a great time.

    I would definitely not let being gay be much of a factor in not joining.

    There are plenty of other valid reasons not to join though..
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    Mar 08, 2013 5:33 AM GMT
    I have to say that since DADT has been repealed life (in general) has gotten better. at my current assignment, my fellow coworkers love my bf and always invite the two of us to hang out and do stuff, and they're all straight. I'm kind of the token gay guy at work, but whatever it's still better to be true and honest to ones self than having to hide behind closed doors like I had to for almost 9 years before DADT went away.

    I've met some other really awesome military folks in the same ranks as me too -- it's been quite a blessing.
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    Mar 08, 2013 7:13 AM GMT
    willular saidI have to say that since DADT has been repealed life (in general) has gotten better. at my current assignment, my fellow coworkers love my bf and always invite the two of us to hang out and do stuff, and they're all straight. I'm kind of the token gay guy at work, but whatever it's still better to be true and honest to ones self than having to hide behind closed doors like I had to for almost 9 years before DADT went away.

    I've met some other really awesome military folks in the same ranks as me too -- it's been quite a blessing.


    I totally agree. I wasnt in long before DADT was repealed but its been a blessing for sure. idk how you did it for 9 years
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    Mar 08, 2013 7:18 AM GMT
    Doesn't this change based on where you are stationed???

    I have heard mixed feedback icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 08, 2013 7:30 AM GMT
    Anocxu saidDoesn't this change based on where you are stationed???

    I have heard mixed feedback icon_confused.gif


    Well everyone has different experiances I guess, but honestly the people you are stationed with will be from all over the US anyway. So I wouldnt think the area you are stationed in will play too big of a role in how your treated by the guys your stationed with. Now the towns people are a whole different story...
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    Mar 08, 2013 7:35 AM GMT
    I'm happy to hear your experiences are positive..

    BTW Thanks for being a part of the intricate system that keeps us safe icon_biggrin.gif
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Mar 08, 2013 7:35 AM GMT
    and you know this is KILLING the pro DADT pundits big time. they predicted that the planet would implode, the men would be holding white parties in the showers and all sorts of bad things would happen to our military. well, let me say to them....neeener neeener neeener. :>

    thanks guys for your service.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Mar 08, 2013 7:40 AM GMT
    My gaydar can pick up on the lesbians but not the gay guys. I'm not open in the Navy. Besides I just went to Guam and had some rednecks to deal with that weren't very open minded. They couldn't understand why I collected comic books so I'm sure they wouldn't understand that I love sucking dick.
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    Mar 08, 2013 7:44 AM GMT
    mynyun saidMy gaydar can pick up on the lesbians but not the gay guys. I'm not open in the Navy. Besides I just went to Guam and had some rednecks to deal with that weren't very open minded. They couldn't understand why I collected comic books so I'm sure they wouldn't understand that I love sucking dick.


    lol I hear ya. Actually when I came out at my last station in MI I thought I would lose some people I considered my friends due to how they were raised. Turns out in the end, my best friend their was a "good 'ol boy" lol. We went out all the time. He called me the ultimate wing-man haha. You never know man...
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 08, 2013 1:17 PM GMT
    Still highly skeptical and think that maybe your experience is extraordinary and not common.
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    Mar 08, 2013 1:37 PM GMT
    mynyun saidMy gaydar can pick up on the lesbians but not the gay guys. I'm not open in the Navy. Besides I just went to Guam and had some rednecks to deal with that weren't very open minded. They couldn't understand why I collected comic books so I'm sure they wouldn't understand that I love sucking dick.


    Dude, I live in southern Louisiana right now. talk about closed-minded rednecks.

    Let's see...a few other things about being gay in the military:

    I work with a bunch of fighter pilots who still have this "macho" attitude about banging girls and drinkin beers. turns out one of the guy's kids apparently is gay. that made me chuckle.

    not everyone is super cool about it. one of my troops that just came here is hardcore republican. I haven't openly told him about me, but if he ever asks...lol.

    I don't really know what else to say other than I'm just being myself (FINALLY). when it was over with, I didn't have some massive coming out party, I didn't upload a video on youtube. I didn't put pictures of shirtless men all over my office. I just kept doing the job that I'm supposed to be doing. Once I moved to my current assignment, and I inprocessed, everyone always asks the standard questions, "do you have any family? are you married?" and i was just honest and said I had a partner. and it was a dude.

    I even brought my boyfriend to our work Christmas party back in December and introduced him to the boss and everyone. I could tell the boss was a little uncomfortable, but you know what ? for once I wasn't. (and shit even the boss's wife likes my bf lol).

    It isn't all about coming out in the military...it's about being yourself....and when people see that you're just being who you are, they tend to have more respect for you.
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    Mar 08, 2013 5:14 PM GMT
    My experience was very similar. I was always looked at as the "gay little brother". Except a very few rare moments, nobody was hostile. Is the military, and Marines, homophobic? Yes, I would say to an extent. "Fag" is still a word thrown around freely and I did overhear many negative conversations about gays. The Marines still attracts very Alpha male types. But those very just from a vocal minority. I did not ever fear for my safety at any time.
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    Mar 08, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidStill highly skeptical and think that maybe your experience is extraordinary and not common.


    Well it's ultimately your decision to join or not but in my branch I have had no issues regarding my sexuality. The few other openly gay members I know have had similar experiences to mine. I can't speak for all people or all branches but joining has been the hardest but most rewarding decision I have made in my life so far.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Mar 08, 2013 9:04 PM GMT
    Dante_101 said
    TheBizMan saidStill highly skeptical and think that maybe your experience is extraordinary and not common.


    Well it's ultimately your decision to join or not but in my branch I have had no issues regarding my sexuality. The few other openly gay members I know have had similar experiences to mine. I can't speak for all people or all branches but joining has been the hardest but most rewarding decision I have made in my life so far.


    and that is how it should be. period.
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    Mar 09, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    willular said
    mynyun saidMy gaydar can pick up on the lesbians but not the gay guys. I'm not open in the Navy. Besides I just went to Guam and had some rednecks to deal with that weren't very open minded. They couldn't understand why I collected comic books so I'm sure they wouldn't understand that I love sucking dick.


    Dude, I live in southern Louisiana right now. talk about closed-minded rednecks.

    Let's see...a few other things about being gay in the military:

    I work with a bunch of fighter pilots who still have this "macho" attitude about banging girls and drinkin beers. turns out one of the guy's kids apparently is gay. that made me chuckle.

    not everyone is super cool about it. one of my troops that just came here is hardcore republican. I haven't openly told him about me, but if he ever asks...lol.

    I don't really know what else to say other than I'm just being myself (FINALLY). when it was over with, I didn't have some massive coming out party, I didn't upload a video on youtube. I didn't put pictures of shirtless men all over my office. I just kept doing the job that I'm supposed to be doing. Once I moved to my current assignment, and I inprocessed, everyone always asks the standard questions, "do you have any family? are you married?" and i was just honest and said I had a partner. and it was a dude.

    I even brought my boyfriend to our work Christmas party back in December and introduced him to the boss and everyone. I could tell the boss was a little uncomfortable, but you know what ? for once I wasn't. (and shit even the boss's wife likes my bf lol).

    It isn't all about coming out in the military...it's about being yourself....and when people see that you're just being who you are, they tend to have more respect for you.


    Your last paragraph is exactly how I feel