Am I a slut"whore"? plz guys I need your help

  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Mar 08, 2013 7:51 PM GMT
    Hey all, actually this topic is one of the main reasons that I made my profile in this site.

    note:excuse me if my English is bad because it is not my mother tongue.
    I just wanted to share my story that it seems although it was years ago I can,t forget it, and it makes some suffering for me, and I keep thinking about it a lot.

    I was living for nearly seven years alone since i was 18 until 25,and I was searching for a love partner"long term partner or forever partner"
    and my principle is always not to make sex except with that partner>>when i was nearly 21-24>>I just don,t know what happened to me mentally>>I was passing through a very severe stress period and I was having some hard time in my life which it was a catastrophic time for me and I wasn,t thinking properly>>I started to have sex >>I had sex with a person and I just didn,t know if what I am doing is wrong or right>>I just wanted to have sex>>and I wasn,t sure if what I am doing is wrong and why it is wrong?? in our culture "middle east" this thing is a big wrong>>but I was the kind of person I don,t care about what the culture or religion says and do what I feel it is right despite the culture says it is wrong>and if something is wrong I need to know why it is wrong>>ex: If u tell me that smoking is wrong and I want to smoke I will smoke and I won,t care at all, but if u tell me that smoking is wrong coz it will damage your health and it may lead to cancer I will stop!!!

    after I make sex with that person"soft sex" I realized that something is wrong and I don,t want just one time sex and what I want in the relation is not sex>>I want something more as a love>>someone who spend most of his time with me>not for sex only for love and hugs and things like this"the reason that I didn,t make hard sex with that person" coz I thought in that time that soft sex is ok with anyone and hard sex is only ok with a lover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    after this I met a person and he told me that he loves me and I liked him and then we started a relation<i was the bottom">>then I decided to break up with that guy for many reasons>>first I was afraid from what I was doing and that the relation will affect my studying and my graduation"i was in a foreign country" and also because my partner was somehow weird that he keeps some pics of gay guys in his pocket which makes me wonder if he loves me why he is still keeping pics of many gay guys with him!!!so I ended up the relationship which lasted only for months
    after that I dated a couple of guys<>he just will disappear!!! and one of those occasions I had a soft sex with a guy I met>>and he started by hugging me which I liked it and ended by rubbing himself against me!!!
    after all that happened I didn,t think about it,and I thought it is ok,when I returned to my country,,my home>>and when I became 26 ,I started to think about it so much,and I regret it a lot, and I kept saying: OMG what I have done to myself, how didn,t I realize that time that this is slutty and I was acting as a sex object?and I realized more that this is very very wrong and I understood what I have done in depth>and I am 100% sure that if I was thinking the way I am thinking now I will never ever do what I did<>>
    I am suffering a lot because of my dirty past<>coz I always feel myself a worthless person because of what I have done and somehow stupid person.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Mar 08, 2013 8:26 PM GMT
    i'm sure a lot of guys on here are going to say they do more on the average weekend than you did in your whole life.

    besides, if you play safe it doesnt matter at all what you did. its only wrong if you didnt consent to it. if you had fun, it wasnt wrong.

  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Mar 08, 2013 8:32 PM GMT
    Ok. I read your entire post (someone give me a medal. :p ), and here's my advice. No, you're not a whore. Sounds like you're young and going thru the natural process of dating, having sex and finding out (unfortunately) that many men can't be trusted. Forgive yourself! Your middle-eastern upbringing is filling you with a lot of guilt and self-hatred. You need to fight that and accept yourself. Keep dating and keep making decisions on a case-by-case basis about these men. Sounds like you're making the right decisions and moving on. Be strong as you grow into the confident gay man you must be.
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Mar 08, 2013 8:35 PM GMT
    Most people on here will provide their "western" viewpoints and say that you're not a slut, etc.

    But, I think you are a HUGE SLUT!

    Own it, girrl
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 08, 2013 9:02 PM GMT
    Import saidMost people on here will provide their "western" viewpoints and say that you're not a slut, etc.

    But, I think you are a HUGE SLUT!

    Own it, girrl


    ^^^ In case it isn't obvious to you he's being silly.

    No, you're not a slut. But even if you were, so what? As long as it is consensual and adult, it isn't anyone's business what you do. Or how often. Or with whom.

    But, yes, this is a liberal, Western point of view. Your cultural millage may vary.

    Guilt sucks. God (or whatever you believe in) has a lot more to worry about than what you do with your penis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 9:03 PM GMT


    "OMG what I have done to myself"

    You have done NOTHING to yourself. You have been honest, lonely, searching, and unhappy.


    " I always feel myself a worthless person because of what I have done and somehow stupid person."

    You are not stupid or worthless.

    Here's 2 hugs.

    *HUG* and *HUG*

    -Doug and Bill

  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 08, 2013 9:11 PM GMT
    Sometimes the body just needs what the spirit cannot understand.
    Many religions practice fasting to get closer to God. And so you get light headed and feel like you go on this profound understanding of the cosmos. Drugs can elicit the same sort of revelation of life. Many cultures do this very thing with such plants such as peyote, mushrooms and rye ergot. The body still needs water and food or it dies, but while on these drug, or in the state of fasting you can loose the desire for food and water. The same is with sex, while you might deny your body of it for some sort of spiritual belief, yet the body still desires it and actually does need it from time to time as it release chemicals in your brain and in your body that you body needs. So sometimes the desire will become very strong so that the body will get what it needs. Society, has chosen to ignore this because their spiritual leaders teach them to deny the body of sex, when in reality, they themselves do not always deny the body of the sex it desires, but choose to lie to to people to make them believe that they are pious. Fasting doesn't make anyone any holier than another. What makes you holy is the control of your emotions and thought to understand and accept others and to know right from wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 9:14 PM GMT



    What IS bothering me is that you used someone else's pic.

    http://www.ecouterre.com/nau-fills-in-the-mens-eco-fashion-void-with-crisp-basics-every-guy-can-appreciate/
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 08, 2013 9:16 PM GMT
    meninlove said


    What IS bothering me is that you used someone else's pic.

    http://www.ecouterre.com/nau-fills-in-the-mens-eco-fashion-void-with-crisp-basics-every-guy-can-appreciate/

    Maybe he's a model icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 9:20 PM GMT
    I really understand how you feel...
    You some how feel you have betrayed your own standards.

    ..Sex and love are two different things....separating the two can be difficult ..especially when what you seek is love.. AND.. when you equate one to the other!

    ...You are young..at your sexual peak and you must be horny as hell but YOUR Standards are YOUR standards.!

    ...People might post in this thread it's ok ..what you are doing is normal.. and I would be one to say the same..BUT.

    ..YOUR standards make YOU ..YOU.. !!

    ...If your goal is to find one person.. Try the best you can to stick to it.

    ...Remember..if you do what everyone else does..then you'll be just like everyone else..!!

    ..I hope you work it out!.. icon_biggrin.gif
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Mar 08, 2013 9:54 PM GMT
    first,I would like to thank u all for your participating coz it means a lot to me,because this issue was driving me crazy.and really if i can thank everyone personally,i will do it icon_smile.gif

    meninlove said


    What IS bothering me is that you used someone else's pic.

    http://www.ecouterre.com/nau-fills-in-the-mens-eco-fashion-void-with-crisp-basics-every-guy-can-appreciate/


    I am sorry about it, didn,t mean to lie or disrespect any member here, by doing this, but this has to do with my culture and being very discreet"not openly gay"
    but if u curious to c how I look like u r welcome to c m on the camicon_wink.gif

    thank u 4 the hugsicon_surprised.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 9:58 PM GMT
    meezo saidfirst,I would like to thank u all for your participating coz it means a lot to me,because this issue was driving me crazy.and really if i can thank everyone personally,i will do it icon_smile.gif

    meninlove said


    What IS bothering me is that you used someone else's pic.

    http://www.ecouterre.com/nau-fills-in-the-mens-eco-fashion-void-with-crisp-basics-every-guy-can-appreciate/


    I am sorry about it, didn,t mean to lie or disrespect any member here, by doing this, but this has to do with my culture and being very discreet"not openly gay"
    but if u curious to c how I look like u r welcome to c m on the camicon_wink.gif

    thank u 4 the hugsicon_surprised.gif


    Hey thanks, Meezo. icon_wink.gif Cam is not necessary. There have been lots of fake profiles lately with stolen pics so I thought I would say something.

    Maybe put something in your profile explaining not my real pic because I can't yet.
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Mar 08, 2013 10:07 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidI really understand how you feel...
    You some how feel you have betrayed your own standards.

    ..Sex and love are two different things....separating the two can be difficult ..especially when what you seek is love.. AND.. when you equate one to the other!

    ...You are young..at your sexual peak and you must be horny as hell but YOUR Standards are YOUR standards.!

    ...People might post in this thread it's ok ..what you are doing is normal.. and I would be one to say the same..BUT.

    ..YOUR standards make YOU ..YOU.. !!

    ...If your goal is to find one person.. Try the best you can to stick to it.

    ...Remember..if you do what everyone else does..then you'll be just like everyone else..!!

    ..I hope you work it out!.. icon_biggrin.gif

    yes you r right, and what u said is very valuable,I feel I betrayed my standards and my lover
    but what I was trying to tell, I was still not understanding the standards in depth and maybe still in the phase of putting the standards for myself>>when I said the ex: about smoking, and when I was not in my complete mentality"coz of my situaton" and now how I will never do this now coz I think more maturely and more understanding of standards and of morals that I put to myself and I realized the situation more.
    and about seperating sex and love that is a main reason of my suffering>but i want to feel the hug and eye contact and the romance of my lover etc etc<
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Mar 08, 2013 10:09 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    meezo saidfirst,I would like to thank u all for your participating coz it means a lot to me,because this issue was driving me crazy.and really if i can thank everyone personally,i will do it icon_smile.gif

    meninlove said


    What IS bothering me is that you used someone else's pic.

    http://www.ecouterre.com/nau-fills-in-the-mens-eco-fashion-void-with-crisp-basics-every-guy-can-appreciate/


    I am sorry about it, didn,t mean to lie or disrespect any member here, by doing this, but this has to do with my culture and being very discreet"not openly gay"
    but if u curious to c how I look like u r welcome to c m on the camicon_wink.gif

    thank u 4 the hugsicon_surprised.gif


    Hey thanks, Meezo. icon_wink.gif Cam is not necessary. There have been lots of fake profiles lately with stolen pics so I thought I would say something.

    Maybe put something in your profile explaining not my real pic because I can't yet.

    u r completely right, I will do it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    meezo, if my Mom were online right now on RJ (she's 80 and sometimes visits RJ with me to see all 'her men'.) she would tell you that each day is a new page - write on it. Yesterday is gone, and that it's important to love you and forgive you for letting yourself down.

    She is a rather nice Mom. icon_wink.gif
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Mar 08, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    meninlove said meezo, if my Mom were online right now on RJ (she's 80 and sometimes visits RJ with me to see all 'her men'.) she would tell you that each day is a new page - write on it. Yesterday is gone, and that it's important to love you and forgive you for letting yourself down.

    She is a rather nice Mom. icon_wink.gif

    icon_smile.gif u r lucky to have your Mom, and I am lucky to have u participating in my topicicon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 08, 2013 10:20 PM GMT
    meezo said
    meninlove said meezo, if my Mom were online right now on RJ (she's 80 and sometimes visits RJ with me to see all 'her men'.) she would tell you that each day is a new page - write on it. Yesterday is gone, and that it's important to love you and forgive you for letting yourself down.

    She is a rather nice Mom. icon_wink.gif

    icon_smile.gif u r lucky to have your Mom, and I am lucky to have u participating in my topicicon_biggrin.gif


    icon_redface.gif

    Well thanks.
    Your internal ethics are beating you up, but you need to tell your ethics to have patience, that you are allowed to learn and make some mistakes along the way. Just don't talk to yourself out loud, lol!

    icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 09, 2013 6:48 AM GMT
    im sure u must have been very frustrated all that period & like drugs which relieve u, sex relives you too,

    hence u got into this,i got into this 2 years ago but i quit this coz i knew at the end you get a disease or u get ashamed to see yourself in mirror & be more depressed

    i quit it,infact i have a big sex drive,i masturbate & control myself sometimes 6 times a day too
  • meezo

    Posts: 117

    Mar 11, 2013 9:31 PM GMT
    Zeriel saidim sure u must have been very frustrated all that period & like drugs which relieve u, sex relives you too,

    hence u got into this,i got into this 2 years ago but i quit this coz i knew at the end you get a disease or u get ashamed to see yourself in mirror & be more depressed

    i quit it,infact i have a big sex drive,i masturbate & control myself sometimes 6 times a day too

    completely true
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 11, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    hm, you have to take into consideration that your culture and upbringing is always a part of you. And that, your bodily urges will fight those aspects of who you are. I totally understand where you're coming from, because you and I seem like we share a lot in common, and that we seek love from another human rather then just blatant sex.

    I tried to have sex with a guy once, but there was just something that always held me back. When he kissed me, and started caressing me it was intoxicating, and I couldn't get enough. But as it got deeper and deeper, and his soft touches started becoming rugged and demanding something triggered in me that told me I HAD TO STOP. It no longer felt right to me, and for me that's when I found my boundaries. kissing is okay, anything further is no longer acceptable until I know for sure 100% I can give my first to a guy without any hesitation. So far I haven't met that guy yet, but hopefully one day,

    Don't feel so down on yourself, and just learn from the experience.

    p.s. you're not a slut :]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 1:13 AM GMT
    It sounds to me like you are being too hard on yourself.

    Everyone goes through phases. We only grow by looking back and realizing how something makes us feel.

    I don't think you are a slut, you just had sex. You didn't do it for the money, and as far as I know, it's not like you "pulled your pants down to every guy that looked your way." You wanted to find love and have fun, and you did. Learn from this experience and move on.
  • whytehot

    Posts: 1167

    Mar 12, 2013 1:29 AM GMT
    Apparition saidif you had fun, it wasnt wrong.


    I "had fun" double-fisting some guy into a coma last night. There was lots of blood. He forgot the safe word.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 1:48 AM GMT
    I definitely hope you are. You're kinda cute. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 2:54 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI definitely hope you are. You're kinda cute. icon_razz.gif


    Note in his profile it says, "NOTE:this is not my pic"

    So, he is a whore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 3:49 AM GMT
    SxyDrkHair said
    GAMRican said
    paulflexes saidI definitely hope you are. You're kinda cute. icon_razz.gif


    Note in his profile it says, "NOTE:this is not my pic"

    So, he is a whore.


    You are an attention WHORE.


    BWAHAHAHAHA!

    You jelly, sis?