What do I WANT?

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  Mar 08, 2013 9:06 PM GMT

  Why is this so hard to figure out?
  
  I'm angry that I feel glanced over because society sees gays as an afterthought. I try to make myself be heard but it's still so damn hard to talk about being gay even with other gay men. Online i'm a gay crusader but i'm real life i'm the most scared person alive.
  
  I feel like i'm ridiculously attracted to freshly out gay dudes and I feel the need to coax closeted guys out of the closet for whatever reason. This is quite obviously terrible and I never do it. I just feel like doing it.
  
  What is wrong with me? Why am I so offended by things, why do I think about things like being excluded from society so much? I can't even see a couple walking holding hands on campus without being extremely bitter. I get upset when I hear straight guys talking to openly and freely about women. I get angry that straight romance is the only acceptable role for protagonists in films/books.
  
  I can't enjoy anything because it's like i'm looking through this lens: I'm a gay gamer, I'm a gay frat guy, i'm a gay black dude, i'm a gay college student, etc.
  
  Basically, BRAIN STFU
  
  
  

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  Mar 08, 2013 9:41 PM GMT

  You know... 6 months ago i was here and you had the same issues..
  
  Precisely the same complaints....
  
  I guess it's time to make solving these issues a priority..
  
  I guess tackle your demons one at a time if need be..
  
  Work it out man... life is too short to be ..Well all the things you listed above..
  Hugz.
  

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  Mar 08, 2013 9:44 PM GMT

  Your thread title points out a crucial topic that, refreshingly, hasn't actually been hashed to death on RJ! Overwhelmingly it's not about not getting what we want, it's really about not knowing what it is we truly want in the first place.

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  Mar 08, 2013 9:45 PM GMT

  Ariodante saidYour thread title points out a crucial topic that, refreshingly, hasn't actually been hashed to death on RJ! Overwhelmingly it's not about not getting what we want, it's really about not knowing what it is we truly want in the first place.

  
  
  ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
  I so adore you..

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  Mar 08, 2013 9:48 PM GMT

  Maybe you should just stop caring about what other people think and do what you want. I just recently accepted that this is who I am and I'm proud and confident about it. Well not completely, I wouldn't shout it from the rooftops but I'm good with being who I am, how I am and whatever. I'm just like a kid in the candy store with all my new feelings... and I don't plan to look back or regret anything I do. Everyone is going to have an opinion about what you say or do in life no matter what it is. So just do what makes you happy bro.

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  Mar 08, 2013 9:55 PM GMT

  
  I went through times when I thought the same things, many years ago when young and single.
  
  I also learned what you just said,
  
  " Basically, BRAIN STFU"
  
  Thoughts, and feelings, too, can be like people in an audience. There you are trying to live life (perform) and those people (thoughts/feelings) in the audience keep jumping up and down shouting 'look at ME look at ME'.

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