My first breakup

  • demo01

    Posts: 44

    Mar 09, 2013 5:41 PM GMT
    My first real relationship ended last night after about 4 months. I feel like I wanna cry, vomit, and laugh at the sudden ending. I'm not inconsolable and I know it's going to take some time to get past it. Every time I think to text or call him to question his decision, I decide it's not the best for me emotionally right now. He wants to be friends and while I'm open to it (just because I'm used to him being there) I don't think I can see him for a while. Someone give me some healthy advice on how to deal with because this shit sucks and it makes me feel like I never want to open myself up emotionally ever again like this
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    I went through it just two months ago. The fact that we were and still are very far away makes it somehow easier. I didn't call or text, just answered to some fb messages.
    I'm still not able to forgive him for what he did to me.
    Couple of days ago we finally had "the talk" we should have had some months ago, and I just said all of the things that have been running through my mind since then. He cried, a lot, and that made me somehow feel better. Knowing that he misses me as well. That he's not a complete asshole.
    Guess it's time to move on, for good. I'll eventually forgive him, I know that. He's been too important to me.
    Good luck icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 09, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    I have had my heart smashed a few times also...

    You'll heal..but HOW you heal is important!!

    ..Be completely honest with yourself...
    ..If you fucked up..admit it..very important to know why and where you did..

    ..If he screwed the relationship...make no excuses for him...

    ..Take time to heal and do some soul searching so your next relationship can be better..

    ..Giant Hugz ..

  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Mar 09, 2013 11:16 PM GMT
    I gather it was his decision to end the relationship. People argue about this topic whether to fight for the relationship when they break up with you or to let them go.

    I say, if he wants to break up then let him. It is what he wants.

    Give him the space that he needs by only letting him contact you. Fill your time with the things you enjoy doing. Sports, hobbies, working out, video games, friends, family. Surround yourself with the things you love or you might start filling the void with things that temporarily fill that spot like sex or alcohol. Not saying that is EXACTLY what you will do, but it can happen for some people.

    Just stay busy and be happy doing what it is that keeps you busy.
  • demo01

    Posts: 44

    Mar 10, 2013 4:33 AM GMT
    italianmisarc saidI went through it just two months ago. The fact that we were and still are very far away makes it somehow easier. I didn't call or text, just answered to some fb messages.
    I'm still not able to forgive him for what he did to me.
    Couple of days ago we finally had "the talk" we should have had some months ago, and I just said all of the things that have been running through my mind since then. He cried, a lot, and that made me somehow feel better. Knowing that he misses me as well. That he's not a complete asshole.
    Guess it's time to move on, for good. I'll eventually forgive him, I know that. He's been too important to me.
    Good luck icon_smile.gif


    Thanks... it is VERY difficult to cut of communications completely just like that with someone I've invested my emotions in so heavily. At the time of the breakup when he was telling everything that went wrong, I was too speechless and frankly too much in shock to say anything. I plan on having that talk soon though, I just needed to regroup and clear my head as he had a chance to. I feel like we can actually be friends but I'm not sure yet
  • demo01

    Posts: 44

    Mar 10, 2013 4:36 AM GMT
    MidwesternKid saidI gather it was his decision to end the relationship. People argue about this topic whether to fight for the relationship when they break up with you or to let them go.

    I say, if he wants to break up then let him. It is what he wants.

    Give him the space that he needs by only letting him contact you. Fill your time with the things you enjoy doing. Sports, hobbies, working out, video games, friends, family. Surround yourself with the things you love or you might start filling the void with things that temporarily fill that spot like sex or alcohol. Not saying that is EXACTLY what you will do, but it can happen for some people.

    Just stay busy and be happy doing what it is that keeps you busy.


    I though about fighting for it to be honest. In the end, I decided to go with it just because I figure I would never be able to erase the doubts of the relationship anyways.