would you have trouble dating a guy with a promiscuous past ..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 12:00 PM GMT
    I really like this guy he wants to be in a relationship with me but the only negative is his past , can people really change ? Even though he seems. So interested I find myself being cold towards him because I just keeping thinking about his past . Am I over thinking this ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 12:28 PM GMT
    That's hard to say because there are some guys that never change and will always be on the hunt for the next lay. But the fact that you are cold to him pretty much summarizes that he's not the right guy for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    I think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 1:10 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.



    i won't take this as a personal insult i mean we all can be internet thugs ... but i should've added that i'm no angel either which is why i feel hypocritical and there is a difference between experienced and promiscuous.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 11, 2013 1:32 PM GMT
    drelit0000 said
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.



    i won't take this as a personal insult i mean we all can be internet thugs ... but i should've added that i'm no angel either which is why i feel hypocritical and there is a difference between experienced and promiscuous.


    you're only 20. If it doesn't work out. On the next one.

    Fuck it. SO what about his past? If he likes you, he likes you. If you like him back, then get together. see what happens.
  • NHLFAN

    Posts: 370

    Mar 11, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    The only person who can answer your question is him. Maybe he's had his full of endless bed hopping and now wants a relationship with just one guy. Based on how you treat him that doesn't spell success in a relationship.

    If you decide to continue seeing him sit down and set the expectation of what is acceptable to both of you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 5:01 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.


    are we speaking from experience here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    Its something you grow out of trust me. The older you get the more "past" you have and so do those around you, dont worry, dont feel like youre hypocritical, in years to come you will only vaguely remember the guy icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 5:25 PM GMT
    I may be biased because I see nothing wrong with safely-played promiscuity when not in a monogamous relationship. I think these bodies are fun: enjoy it. Some like it, others don't. Some judge it, others won't. We are who we are.

    But this seems to be not just an issue of so-called moral judgment levied against promiscuity, but particularly an issue of dating a person or of dating that person's past.

    You say you wouldn't be comfortable with a guy because of who he slept with , in his past, so let me bring that home for you.

    I knew a guy who wouldn't sleep with a guy, not based on how many guys that guy previously slept with but by the color of the guys he might have slept with such that if he knew that guy ever had sex with a black guy, he wouldn't have sex with him.

    Now you're going to argue that the one hand has to do with a person's behavior while the other has to do with a person's skin. But from the point of view of the guy making that ultimate judgment, it was the behavior of the person who slept with that skin which he's judging. So then this case is a matter of behavior v behavior with regard to that sort of judgement.

    I've already buried two 10-year partners and when I meet someone new and they ask of my past and I tell them do you think that doesn't make them a little concerned? And that had nothing to do with my behavior. I didn't know life was going to take them from me so soon. You think new guys won't judge me based upon that? Should I lie about my past so I don't make them nervous? Should I change the color of the guys I had sex with? Should I deny their number?

    Oh if only I could find a white virgin with no past who never dies, I'd be so happy....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 11, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    theantijock saidI may be biased because I see nothing wrong with safely-played promiscuity when not in a monogamous relationship. I think these bodies are fun: enjoy it. Some like it, others don't. Some judge it, others won't. We are who we are.

    But this seems to be not just an issue of so-called moral judgment levied against promiscuity, but particularly an issue of dating a person or of dating that person's past.

    You say you wouldn't be comfortable with a guy because of who he slept with , in his past, so let me bring that home for you.

    I knew a guy who wouldn't sleep with a guy, not based on how many guys that guy previously slept with but by the color of the guys he might have slept with such that if he knew that guy ever had sex with a black guy, he wouldn't have sex with him.

    Now you're going to argue that the one hand has to do with a person's behavior while the other has to do with a person's skin. But from the point of view of the guy making that ultimate judgment, it was the behavior of the person who slept with that skin which he's judging. So then this case is a matter of behavior v behavior with regard to that sort of judgement.

    I've already buried two 10-year partners and when I meet someone new and they ask of my past and I tell them do you think that doesn't make them a little concerned? And that had nothing to do with my behavior. I didn't know life was going to take them from me so soon. You think new guys won't judge me based upon that? Should I lie about my past so I don't make them nervous? Should I change the color of the guys I had sex with? Should I deny their number?

    Oh if only I could find a white virgin with no past who never dies, I'd be so happy....




    I toatlly understand the comparison . Like I said I've done some fucked up things , and he seems to be fine with what I've told him ... I guess this is a thing where its more about me than him . I'm afraid karma is gonna bite me in the ass I'm young I'm gonna just give it a try and not judge him on his past because I really do like him and he really does like me .
  • hanzo83

    Posts: 457

    Mar 11, 2013 10:43 PM GMT
    If he's still living the same way he did in his past then yeah I would have a problem with that. If he just recently went on a fucking spree then yeah, we wouldn't be on the same page.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:14 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.


    OP struck a nerve with a whore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:17 AM GMT
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.


    I love you for this.

    OP- don't be judgmental. You'll only end up alone and MORE bitter than you already are.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Mar 12, 2013 2:22 AM GMT
    I have had a very promiscuous past. That hasnt seemed to have deterred my boyfriend, nor has it increased my chances of cheating.

    I value my word. When I was single, I was free to do as I wished. Now that I'm in a relationship, I've given my word to be dedicated, and I intend to keep my word. It's hardly a loss either. The sex is much better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:27 AM GMT
    I've been with my guy for about a year and a half now and I know he's gotten around a TON even while he was dating someone, but that was years before he met me.
    You really just need to trust him and get over the fact that he's had a life before you two met, other wise you will be stuck feeling resentful towards him. And that kind of relationship is no fun..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:28 AM GMT
    probably, yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:31 AM GMT
    The experienced ones are really great in bed.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Mar 12, 2013 2:37 AM GMT
    I don't know, to be honest. I've never really been one for casual sex myself, so I don't know if I'd be attracted to someone who is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidThe experienced ones are really great in bed.


    Not a fan of used goods. I rather grow/ learn/ get "experience" with the same guy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    Never judge someone on their past. If they played safe, were not in a monogamous relationship, and are clean then you should have no problems with it. Seems like he wants to be in a monogamous relationship with you.
  • Tombo

    Posts: 355

    Mar 12, 2013 3:01 AM GMT
    Import said
    drelit0000 said
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.



    i won't take this as a personal insult i mean we all can be internet thugs ... but i should've added that i'm no angel either which is why i feel hypocritical and there is a difference between experienced and promiscuous.


    you're only 20. If it doesn't work out. On the next one.

    Fuck it. SO what about his past? If he likes you, he likes you. If you like him back, then get together. see what happens.


    Not really, I got together with a guy with a promiscuous past and a week later he cheated on me because I didn't "put out" straight away

    But at the same time I have been with quite a few people in my time (around 20) and most of them were just after I came out but I wouldn't want someone to put off having a relationship with me because of that so I guess I have experienced it from both sides.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    No, I'm not dating his past. It's not fair to judge someone based on their past behavior.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 12, 2013 6:15 AM GMT
    Everyone has a past, and it shouldn't be the deciding factor with someone new. Its only fair. Just be safe and enjoy life icon_razz.gif
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Mar 12, 2013 6:27 AM GMT
    Tombo said
    Import said
    drelit0000 said
    smartmoney saidI think a man with any sort of sexual past would have trouble dating a prude like you. He would probably be asking himself why would I want to date such a judgmental, sexually inexperienced, relationship challenged guy.
    So being the sort of guy he is, having learned that people like you are the sort that so are quickly to judge, he has already moved on without a thought to the possibilities.



    i won't take this as a personal insult i mean we all can be internet thugs ... but i should've added that i'm no angel either which is why i feel hypocritical and there is a difference between experienced and promiscuous.


    you're only 20. If it doesn't work out. On the next one.

    Fuck it. SO what about his past? If he likes you, he likes you. If you like him back, then get together. see what happens.


    Not really, I got together with a guy with a promiscuous past and a week later he cheated on me because I didn't "put out" straight away

    But at the same time I have been with quite a few people in my time (around 20) and most of them were just after I came out but I wouldn't want someone to put off having a relationship with me because of that so I guess I have experienced it from both sides.


    So wait, you dated a guy for a week, and you hadn't even have sex with him yet, and you expected a monogamous relationship? And thought he was cheating on you?icon_rolleyes.gif If someone put that kind of pressure and expectation on me within a week of meeting, I'd probably `cheat` just to get away from you.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Mar 12, 2013 6:32 AM GMT
    While I'm not big on monogamy per se, if I knew someone cheated repeatedly in a monogamous relationship I probably wouldn't date him. That's more because he showed that he had honesty and trustworthiness issues though.

    I don't really care if a guy was a slut in the past though.