Letting friends/fam out you...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 12:29 AM GMT
    I'm curious, do some guys not go through the coming out stage and just let the good times roll?I never made the initiative to announce that I was queer to my family/friends(except my ma and my bbf). Sex was never discussed in my family, never learned about the birds and the bees(that is until my P.E. teacher in fifth grade gave us the lowdown). Back to coming out... I've always had it on my mind while with family and friends but I still haven't made the step! Consider of just letting others conclude it.

    This past weekend, I was visiting my old friends who I haven't seen in a while(I moved). While drinking, my girl(friend) with her bf there started coming out to us as bisexual and kept going on about it.... Cool,just like all other pretty girls out there lol =P Then she all of a sudden she pulls me in the hallway and was talking odd then basically asked me if I was gay...she misspoke though I knew what she was getting at lol. I complied with yes and she did what any good friend would do..accept me and continue to love me and be my friend. I wasn't freaked out, more like I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it with her boyfriend there and my ol high school buddies...but the rest of the night she made it awkward having heart to hearts about it. Now, I am debating on whether I should just let it out to everyone before I go, even though many already assume. icon_idea.gif
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    Mar 12, 2013 12:39 AM GMT
    Do it! You'll feel a lot better once you do!
  • Lukehiker

    Posts: 161

    Mar 12, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    I prefer letting them know in a subtle-not so subtle manner.

    About a year ago a friend wanted to set me up with someone(she said she hates seeing someone single) so I responded "I like outdoorsy types, no queens or flamers; a Real guy" and that was that, she said she would look into it and I got a nice date at the levee out of it.(unfortunately he liked screamo music and played it on the next date....ugh)

    Back when I first really came out, my mom responded by calling my sister and telling her about it....I was PISSED; both because she did it after I told her not to, but also because my family is fairly conservative and would have reacted badly.

    After that I simply preferred to let people know on MY terms, rather than be outed by someone's gossip.
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    Mar 12, 2013 12:54 AM GMT
    I did feel better after telling her...I always wanted to tell her but never had that moment alone.

    Whats wrong with screamo music, LukeHiker!? It rubs off on you eventually =p Yeah I told my mom too...and she spread the word to fam and who else knows. Not mad, again leading me to think I don't need to make it official to people, tho leaving a gray area.
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    Mar 12, 2013 1:19 AM GMT
    i really think u should do it too icon_smile.gif
    you'll feel better and relieved
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 1:56 AM GMT
    When friends and family out you to others, that means they don't think it's a big deal.

    And it's not.

    It sounds like you have more trouble with it than they do. That's what you need to be working on.

    Good luck. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 12, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    rEVOLution12 said...

    This past weekend, I was visiting my old friends who I haven't seen in a while(I moved). While drinking, my girl(friend) with her bf there started coming out to us as bisexual and kept going on about it.... Cool,just like all other pretty girls out there lol =P Then she all of a sudden she pulls me in the hallway and was talking odd then basically asked me if I was gay...she misspoke though I knew what she was getting at lol. I complied with yes and she did what any good friend would do..accept me and continue to love me and be my friend. I wasn't freaked out, more like I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it with her boyfriend there and my ol high school buddies...but the rest of the night she made it awkward having heart to hearts about it. Now, I am debating on whether I should just let it out to everyone before I go, even though many already assume. icon_idea.gif


    So, did you fuck her AND the bf?
    Or, did you miss the clue?
    icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 12, 2013 2:53 AM GMT
    GAMRican said
    rEVOLution12 said...

    This past weekend, I was visiting my old friends who I haven't seen in a while(I moved). While drinking, my girl(friend) with her bf there started coming out to us as bisexual and kept going on about it.... Cool,just like all other pretty girls out there lol =P Then she all of a sudden she pulls me in the hallway and was talking odd then basically asked me if I was gay...she misspoke though I knew what she was getting at lol. I complied with yes and she did what any good friend would do..accept me and continue to love me and be my friend. I wasn't freaked out, more like I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it with her boyfriend there and my ol high school buddies...but the rest of the night she made it awkward having heart to hearts about it. Now, I am debating on whether I should just let it out to everyone before I go, even though many already assume. icon_idea.gif


    So, did you fuck her AND the bf?
    Or, did you miss the clue?
    icon_lol.gif


    This is EXACTLY what I was thinking lol
  • Lukehiker

    Posts: 161

    Mar 12, 2013 3:20 AM GMT
    rEVOLution12 said
    Whats wrong with screamo music, LukeHiker!? It rubs off on you eventually =p


    I dislike music in general because of the pain is causes, but I absolutely HATE music that is loud just for the sake of being loud. I've never figured out why this happens, but I can only stand most normal volume music for a few minutes before a headache forms; the louder the music, the faster it comes on. It can get so bad that I begin to bleed from my ears and lose consciousness.

    I think I need to make this part of my profile: Loud music is an instant rejection from me; if you cant live with it turned down, we can't date.