How would you react to this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 3:53 PM GMT
    Recently in the past two weeks I've had several altercations and incidents with people 'calling me out' for being gay. Both of them happened while I was on the bus:

    1) I had painted my nails a really cute silver color that had a really nice icy blue undertone to it. But they had gotten smudged real bad while I was walking to the bus stop. I was messing with them while on the bus and some black teen who was alright looking got on the bus and sat down across from me. I think I might have looked in his direction one or two times but mostly because I had known him from another incident he had with someone on the bus. I noticed he was steady looking at me and for a spilt second I assumed maybe he was attracted to me. Then he asked me if I had 'done that shit on purpose'. I said yes and went back to what I was doing. Then he was loudly talking to other passengers about me about how faggots shouldn't be allowed around normal people and how I had a sickeness. I was trying hard to let it smooth over but I was really not having such a great day and I wanted to snap on him but I didn't.

    2) I was on the bus on my way to school again and I was talking to a girl I'm friends with and we were talking sex and boyfriends and stuff. I wasn't being incredibly graphic and I wasn't being loud. I mean if you were right next to me or across from me yeah you heard me but hey that happens. Some older white woman was sitting right across from me so I could probably hear her conversations if she was talking. She interrupted me and told me to stop talking. I was really trying to avoid a conflict so I told him in kind words fuck yourself and kept on going.

    What would you have done in this situation?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 8:30 PM GMT
    As for scenario one, you are going to have that. It doesnt matter if you are the best looking dude on the planet, somebody will have a problem with you. Unfortunately as a country we are not 100% ready in all areas for guys to walk around in nail polish. While it is completely your decision, it is naive to think that everybody is going to be ok with it. Move on, no big deal.
    As for scenario two, you need to consider the audience. Whether you were talking about guy or girl sex, I still don't think the elderly are ok with hearing that in public, because they never had that when they were younger. And I am old fashioned, SO If you were being loud where more than the person you were talking to could hear you, then I would have to agree with the elderly that a public bus is not the place to be discussing sexcapades. Also telling the old lady to fuck off is completely uncalled for. You arent helping the image when you say vulgar things in front of others in public, and then when they disagree, you disagree right back. Not the answer in my opinion. But who knows, im old fashioned anyway. (no hats indoors, no feet on furniture)

    As to what I would have done? I don't wear nail polish to begin with so I wouldn't have had that problem. But ignoring the comment was probably best. For number two? Don't be inappropriate in public. And when she called me out on it, I would have been sincerely apologetic.
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    Mar 12, 2013 8:40 PM GMT
    I agree with striker's post; specially on scenario 2. Gay or straight, talking about sex in a confined public place (such as a bus) is not only inappropriate but it is bound to make someone feel uncomfortable, The OP was inconsiderate and rude, and should've apologized to the lady and change topic.
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    Mar 12, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    I would have politely told the woman that I was sorry if I was disturbing her and that I will lower my voice but since the transit authority had no rules against talking I had no intentions of stopping my conversation with my friends.

    As soon as you got ugly and used vulgarity you lost all crdeibility. You became just the sort of individual people are constantly complaining that society is becoming - rude, coarse, and callous. You became no better than the guy in your first example.

    I also found it interesting that you took on an "older white woman" but chose not to confront "some black teen." Cowardice perhaps?

    I also do not see where the woman in the second example "called you out" for being gay.

    Honestly, sounds like you were acting like a bitchy queen - nail polish and all.
  • gwuinsf

    Posts: 525

    Mar 12, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    I agree with the people above. I'd also like to add that in your first scenario, you should always be wary of your own safety. Being right is one thing but being safe is way more important.
  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Mar 12, 2013 8:59 PM GMT
    Avoid transit if you can.
    I agree with everyone - especially with the "white older lady" incident. She didn't tell you to cease chatting in a vulgar manner, but you did. Way to whine about your bus experience when you're the one who reflects these bad manners onto others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:08 PM GMT
    Agreed.

    I don't know what I would've done in the first case. I give you credit for keeping your cool though.

    If you're talking about Boyfriends and sex in a group with your close personal friends, that's fine. Talking about it out in public (on the bus). . . I'm not surprised someone spoke up. Pretty rude of you to tell her off though, she was probably uncomfortable hearing about your convo.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:11 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said

    I also found it interesting that you took on an "older white woman" but chose not to confront "some black teen." Cowardice perhaps?

    Honestly, sounds like you were acting like a bitchy queen - nail polish and all.


    I agree with everyone above but especially this, you decide to go off on the older woman but yet bit your tongue to the person who actually made remarks about you being gay. you should of apologized to the woman and talked about something else or if it was that important for you to talk about at that time you should of lowered your voice so only your friend could hear you.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Mar 12, 2013 9:17 PM GMT
    um. you are 6'5" and weigh 290 pounds....and wear nail polish.

    how big was the other kid? most black kids i know going to school weigh about 120 pounds... you should be intimdating as all hell....
    stop giggling and get a game face.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:32 PM GMT
    In America, there is such thing as freedom of speech & she should have politely asked you to continue your conversation else where. She can't expect good manners from you if she doesn't expect better manners from herself and interrupting a person in a conversation that you are not a part of is not good manners. Seriously tho, don't talk about sex in public, gay or straight it's not appropriate. That would avoid the situation all together.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:40 PM GMT
    So heres a scenario then for the previous poster. You are standing in the line at the grocery store and there is a group of guys in front of you talking, laughing, and using very vulgar language with each other. They can do that I suppose, according to you. But you notice a mother with her two small children eyeing and admonishing the vulgar guys. Does she not have a right to interrupt the conversation for the sake of her kids, if she does not want that to be said around them? It may not be legal, but ill be damned if I wouldn't say anything to them, because it is my business what my kids hear, and I have an opinion as well, just like they have the opinion that there is nothing wrong with their behavior. Good manners or not, to me anyway, decency still exists.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Mar 12, 2013 9:43 PM GMT
    um her rudeness would compound theirs...she can leave for a bit. Or she could be smart and ignore them directly and admonish the children that TheY were not allowed to speak like that in public. Which would be a better life lesson.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Mar 12, 2013 9:45 PM GMT
    You STAY having problems, bro.

    Every week, there is a new catastrophe you must contend with. How do u do it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:48 PM GMT
    to Apparition

    I could see that as well, but I would argue that the best life lesson of all is to teach your kids to question what is going on around them and stand up for what they believe is proper. My parents have done both. What I never remembered were the conversations afterwords, but when people were confronted for their behavior, I never forgot. Im NOT saying that people cant say what they want, Ive been caught cussing or what not in public before, but a little discrepancy goes a long way, and its the attitudes that people have that "well they can act the way they want its a free country" is the same basis of argument for as to why people act rude and inappropriate in public in the first place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:53 PM GMT
    There was a time when people knew how to conduct themselves in public. Sadly, that time is gone and people do not respect themselves or anyone else - even their own children.

    I once heard a mother in a grocery store tell her whining toddler to "shut the fuck up." What sort of adult do you think he's going to grow up to be?

    Oh, tempora! Oh, mores!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:57 PM GMT
    Stryker911

    Of coarse she has a right to. That's a different level of a scenario when you bring in a child. A child does not have the same innocence and maturity as a lady. I mean, that woman would not need parental guidance to watch a PG, PG-13, rated R, etc. film. My point is that, she attacked him at a personal level that was unnecessary.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:59 PM GMT
    Apparition saidum her rudeness would compound theirs...she can leave for a bit. Or she could be smart and ignore them directly and admonish the children that TheY were not allowed to speak like that in public. Which would be a better life lesson.


    I don't agree that she woud be rude to interrupt their inappropriate conversation. She and everyone around her have a right not to be exposed to their crudeness. I do agree, however, that her request for some civility would be greated with a less than hospitable reaction considering people today are shameless. There was once a time you could shame someone by pointing out their anti-social behavior and asking them to stop. Nowadays you will only be verbally assaulted at the least and physically assaulted at worst.
  • nic_m3

    Posts: 123

    Mar 12, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    I would have just ignored the guy and the lady i would have kindly told her i dont go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth. jk I would have said no thanks and kept going.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    Once, in broad daylight, this man passed me on a city street, and whispered "Don't get too gay" into my ear. It was intensely creepy, very nasty, and incredibly invasive of my personal space.

    I got so angry -- white hot -- that I shoved him away and knocked him flat on the ground.

    So, yes, you showed admirable restraint.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 10:06 PM GMT
    I see a difference in the previous posters situation. That constitutes physical confrontation to me, and I would have done the same thing.
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    Mar 12, 2013 10:10 PM GMT
    Elusium saidOnce, in broad daylight, this man passed me on a city street, and whispered "Don't get too gay" into my ear. It was intensely creepy, very nasty, and incredibly invasive of my personal space.

    I got so angry -- white hot -- that I shoved him away and knocked him flat on the ground.

    So, yes, you showed admirable restraint.


    I would have retorted: Why? Couldn't control yourself?

    You could very well have shoved a mental patient with a gun or knife and not lived to recount the story.
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    Mar 12, 2013 10:25 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Elusium saidOnce, in broad daylight, this man passed me on a city street, and whispered "Don't get too gay" into my ear. It was intensely creepy, very nasty, and incredibly invasive of my personal space.

    I got so angry -- white hot -- that I shoved him away and knocked him flat on the ground.

    So, yes, you showed admirable restraint.


    I would have retorted: Why? Couldn't control yourself?

    You could very well have shoved a mental patient with a gun or knife and not lived to recount the story.


    I am the weirdo, mister.

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  • Kel_

    Posts: 1360

    Mar 12, 2013 10:29 PM GMT
    tumblr_m3dkl8LMLu1r4knw2o2_500.gif

    All-time fave movie. Fairuza Balk badassery!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    Elusium said
    UndercoverMan said
    Elusium saidOnce, in broad daylight, this man passed me on a city street, and whispered "Don't get too gay" into my ear. It was intensely creepy, very nasty, and incredibly invasive of my personal space.

    I got so angry -- white hot -- that I shoved him away and knocked him flat on the ground.

    So, yes, you showed admirable restraint.


    I would have retorted: Why? Couldn't control yourself?

    You could very well have shoved a mental patient with a gun or knife and not lived to recount the story.


    I am the weirdo, mister.


    Oh, I don't doubt that. But a dead weirdo is still just dead.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 12, 2013 10:37 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    Elusium said
    UndercoverMan said
    Elusium saidOnce, in broad daylight, this man passed me on a city street, and whispered "Don't get too gay" into my ear. It was intensely creepy, very nasty, and incredibly invasive of my personal space.

    I got so angry -- white hot -- that I shoved him away and knocked him flat on the ground.

    So, yes, you showed admirable restraint.


    I would have retorted: Why? Couldn't control yourself?

    You could very well have shoved a mental patient with a gun or knife and not lived to recount the story.


    I am the weirdo, mister.


    Oh, I don't doubt that. But a dead weirdo is still just dead.


    Full disclosure:

    I was the one with the knife on him (!).

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