Gay porn star reportedly commits suicide after U.S. laws prevent recognition of his marriage

  • metta

    Posts: 39165

    Mar 12, 2013 8:30 PM GMT
    Gay porn star reportedly commits suicide after U.S. laws prevent recognition of his marriage

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/03/12/gay-porn-star-reportedly-commits-suicide-after-u-s-laws-prevent-recognition-of-his-marriage/

    "Wilfried Knight (right), an acupuncturist and porn star of French extraction, reportedly committed suicide last week in Vancouver, though his death was only confirmed by friends on Monday night. His husband, Jerry Enriquez, reportedly hanged himself in their home on February 21, 2013 and Knight was the person to discover the body.

    In a series of lengthy blog posts on his personal site (NSFW) before his own death, Knight wrote that he and Enriquez were forced to move to Canada after Knight’s student visa expired because, although the couple were legally married in Canada in 2011, the U.S. Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) prohibits the federal government from recognizing legal same sex marriages or affording same sex spouses rights normally afforded to heterosexual spouses — including the right to sponsor one’s spouse for a greencard."
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    Mar 12, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    I read about this yesterday, very sad. icon_sad.gif
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3534

    Mar 12, 2013 9:39 PM GMT
    horrible article it goes back and forth on who died 3 times.
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    Mar 13, 2013 12:13 AM GMT
    Very sad
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    Mar 13, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    Apparition saidhorrible article it goes back and forth on who died 3 times.


    Well his husband and he died, if that was confusing.
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    Mar 13, 2013 12:30 AM GMT
    Um...did they really have to kill themselves? Look, I hate marriage inequality and DOMA as much as the next guy, but killing themselves because of it is self-righteous. While it's sad that they died, it's even sadder that they did so in the most selfish manner possible.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Mar 13, 2013 12:36 AM GMT
    to be fair, if you're killing yourself, there are other issues too
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    Mar 13, 2013 3:54 AM GMT
    Killing themselves because they don't have marriage rights seems extreme. I agree, there must have been other issues not mentioned in he article.
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    Mar 13, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    calibro saidto be fair, if you're killing yourself, there are other issues too


    My thoughts exactly. Besides, they already moved to Canada so what relevance is the U.S. policy or DOMA?
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Mar 13, 2013 4:13 AM GMT
    Global_Citizen said
    calibro saidto be fair, if you're killing yourself, there are other issues too


    My thoughts exactly. Besides, they already moved to Canada so what relevance is the U.S. policy or DOMA?


    After reading his blog posts part of me almost wonders if there wasn't some political statement behind it; sort of like the self-immolating monks.
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    Mar 13, 2013 4:14 AM GMT
    Sad story to read....Well apparently a series of events happened which left them embittered..I wonder.

    icon_sad.gificon_cry.gif
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    Mar 13, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    By killing themselves, it's like they are saying, ok, they win. There is nothing else for us to do but check out.

    If they are making a point, unfortunately on one will remember as time moves on. They would have been able to make a much bigger impact fighting for their rights, joining organizations supporting equal marriage laws, etc.
  • dalwriter

    Posts: 167

    Mar 13, 2013 4:27 AM GMT
    Global_Citizen said
    My thoughts exactly. Besides, they already moved to Canada so what relevance is the U.S. policy or DOMA?


    They lived in Canada but neither one was Canadian. As the American partner lost his job, the couple was faced with deportation and possible separation (although I don't know what the time frame was).

    They made an extreme decision and they definitely weren't all there (from the blog post, it kind of sounds like they had a suicide pact or at least Jerry expected Wilfried to kill himself). It's heartbreaking but many, many couples are faced with separation because of US immigration policy (even straight couples)... maybe if they had known they weren't the only ones they would've acted differently.
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    Mar 13, 2013 4:28 AM GMT
    Fivealive saidSad story to read....Well apparently a series of events happened which left them embittered..I wonder.

    icon_sad.gificon_cry.gif


    It must have been horrible; neither one wanted to be here, but they came because it was the haven available, which promptly exploded in their faces like a firecracker. icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 13, 2013 4:32 AM GMT
    blkbodybdr saidBy killing themselves, it's like they are saying, ok, they win. There is nothing else for us to do but check out.

    If they are making a point, unfortunately on one will remember as time moves on. They would have been able to make a much bigger impact fighting for their rights, joining organizations supporting equal marriage laws, etc.


    Joni Mitchell, a Canadian songwriter, once wrote this:

    A woman I knew just drowned herself,
    The well was deep and muddy,
    She was just shaking off futility,
    Or punishing somebody.

    I think the bold applies here...
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    Mar 13, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    calibro saidto be fair, if you're killing yourself, there are other issues too


    This all the way.
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    Mar 13, 2013 4:41 AM GMT
    Myol said
    calibro saidto be fair, if you're killing yourself, there are other issues too


    This all the way.


    I thought it rather too easy, and too commonly used. icon_wink.gif
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    Mar 13, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    Unintended said... this inconvenience that gays have endured for years is hardly a reason itself for suicide....


    Mostly just my str8 friends and family might consider my being treated as a 2nd class citizen an inconvenience, not quite how I'd characterize how it makes me feel.

    But that aside, I wonder if this vergence upon full fledged legitimacy where we seem to now find ourselves might not be in some ways more unsettling to some than were earlier years of the Gay Rights Movement.

    Years ago, we hardly gave marriage a thought. Not that it wouldn't have been nice, not that we didn't see str8s do it all the time, not that we didn't fantasize a better life, but we sure didn't plan on it. We never thought it would happen for us in our lifetime. I wonder if there wasn't some perverted sense of comfort in that. We were treated completely like crap but at least we knew where we stood.

    A while back I mentioned on another thread by a middle eastern guy who--actually we haven't heard from in a while, hope he's okay (that guy from Egypt, I think it was, trying to get out of his country) anyway--who became so much more aware of gay freedom in other parts of the world via internet that I wondered if that didn't add to his frustration in ways he might not have experienced had he not had such contact with the outside world.

    In his case, he became desperate to get out of his country, to leave his family. And I believe he would have risked his life to do that. And there's another thread of a guy who is desperate to not go back to his mideast country.

    I wouldn't think that enough to push someone to suicide, at least not the first guy. But it might add to weight of the surviving guy's depression over the loss of his lover, enough to push him over that edge. I could see that. I've buried two so far and I know what mourning does to you. Even now, mostly out of though still stuck somewhat in mourning, life is not as worth living as it was when I had my buds. I might feel differently were I to find someone new in my life but I understand without reservation someone following their love to the grave. I can see that might not make sense to someone who hasn't known such loss.
  • metta

    Posts: 39165

    Mar 13, 2013 5:59 AM GMT
    "In a series of lengthy blog posts on his personal site (NSFW) before his own death, Knight wrote that he and Enriquez were forced to move to Canada after Knight’s student visa expired because, although the couple were legally married in Canada in 2011, the U.S. Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) prohibits the federal government from recognizing legal same sex marriages or affording same sex spouses rights normally afforded to heterosexual spouses — including the right to sponsor one’s spouse for a greencard...In the time that followed Enriquez’s suicide, Knight also discovered that the same laws that prevented recognition of their marriage in life prevented him from being recognized as a surviving spouse after his husband’s death."
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    Mar 13, 2013 6:07 AM GMT
    Seems like a lot of porn stars are mentally unstable...with these suicides and overdoses.
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    Mar 15, 2013 5:06 PM GMT

    what is going on, RIP frenchman

    wilfried_knight.jpg
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    Mar 15, 2013 5:35 PM GMT
    calibro saidto be fair, if you're killing yourself, there are other issues too


    exactly
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    Mar 15, 2013 5:41 PM GMT
    hmmm, this is sad news, though it portrays the depth some gay relationships could go icon_sad.gif
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Mar 15, 2013 5:43 PM GMT
    how very sad!
    big shame that he was pushed to commit suicide.
  • Havenjock80

    Posts: 428

    Mar 15, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    Nothing is worth killing yourself over.

    Yes- it means a lot to be married but to make yourself martyrs

    IS there gay marriage in the afterlife? I dont get it.