MashogaNubianPrince saidI get so sick of people telling me to stop looking for a significant other and just let it come to me. I cannot think of one person that has worked for. I mean obviously I'm sure it works for someone but surely so does looking otherwise dating sites and singles mixers would not exist.
I don't think people necessarily mean to stop being social, and to even stop going on dating websites. It's more of a change of your mindset.
When you meet a guy, no matter how you meet him, don't think instantly of his compatibility as a relationship partner. Why? Because that is impossible to know. Just get to know him. When a guy on a dating website instantly starts to show signs that he thinks I am "the one" or that we are "really compatible" it freaks me out a little bit, because he really really doesn't know a thing about me. He doesn't know that I am partially-polyamorous, he doesn't know I am incredibly kinky, he doesn't know that I make my own yogurt, he doesn't know that I like to do drag once in a while, he doesn't know that I bite my nails, he doesn't know that I have a decent amount of student loan debt... all factors that will truly influence how he might feel about me.
So... go on websites that put you in touch with other gay men (I'm not going to call them dating websites)... go to bars... join gay sports leagues and groups... stare at guys at the gym and ponder curiously if they are gay.
BUT STOP LOOKING AT THEM AS THE HUSBAND WHO WILL SAVE YOU AND MAKE YOU HAPPY...
^^^ The person who will make you happy is you.