How do you tell a guy he needs to lose weight?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2008 8:30 PM GMT
    I've been seeing this guy for a while now and he is nice and the sex is good but he is extremely overweight. I hate to sound shallow, but I'm turned off by his weight. How can you kindly tell someone -- "hey buddy, you need to hit the gym?"
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    Oct 12, 2008 8:43 PM GMT
    "Hey buddy, you need to hit the gym, stat."

    "Common in. Watch the loose carpet, and there's a weak spot on the floor there. You might fall into the basement."

    "We'll take a table by the window. And my companion will need 2 chairs."

    "Lemme move some stuff in the car trunk, so it won't lean over so much toward your side."

    "You take the elevator first; it has a 2000-pound limit."
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 12, 2008 9:29 PM GMT
    Tell him you are concerned for his health. Don't make the focus be on his appearance.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 12, 2008 9:42 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidTell him you are concerned for his health. Don't make the focus be on his appearance.


    Tim is a nice guy icon_smile.gif and I think his suggestion is spot on.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Oct 12, 2008 9:44 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa said"Hey buddy, you need to hit the gym, stat."

    "Common in. Watch the loose carpet, and there's a weak spot on the floor there. You might fall into the basement."

    "We'll take a table by the window. And my companion will need 2 chairs."

    "Lemme move some stuff in the car trunk, so it won't lean over so much toward your side."

    "You take the elevator first; it has a 2000-pound limit."


    I sincerely hope this is a joke icon_question.gif
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    Oct 12, 2008 9:54 PM GMT


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2008 10:08 PM GMT
    take him to the gym with you or simply ask him to go walking with you around your neighborhood. Make him addicted to sports and exercise.icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    This wouldn't happen to be another RealJock member you're talking about, would it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2008 11:36 PM GMT
    Do not say anything to the order of "I'm concerned for your health." This is a blatant euphemism and he will get insulted. I know I was when my dad said that. I flew into a rage and nearly killed him. Just talk to him the way guys talk to their friends and say, "dude, yo ass is huuge." icon_eek.gif When you say it like that, he'll get the message AND still feel loved.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2008 11:51 PM GMT
    MikePhil said
    Red_Vespa said"Hey buddy, you need to hit the gym, stat."

    "Common in. Watch the loose carpet, and there's a weak spot on the floor there. You might fall into the basement."

    "We'll take a table by the window. And my companion will need 2 chairs."

    "Lemme move some stuff in the car trunk, so it won't lean over so much toward your side."

    "You take the elevator first; it has a 2000-pound limit."


    I sincerely hope this is a joke icon_question.gif


    Yes, dear sir, a joke. A good deal of what I post here is a joke. Or at least intended to be. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 12:10 AM GMT

    "Lose the weight....or I'm not gonna have sex with you anymore."
  • Delivis

    Posts: 2332

    Oct 13, 2008 12:13 AM GMT
    Tell him nothing, drag him to the gym and shout slogans at him!

  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Oct 13, 2008 12:21 AM GMT
    Just tell him that health & fitness are important to you, that you care about him, and you want it to be important to him too. See if he wants to get on a workout program with you. It is something you can do together, sort of be his personal trainer, and your pushing him will give him motivation. Once he starts seeing results, it will be even more motivation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 12:29 AM GMT
    No one will loose weight for another person. This will never work and if he commits he will always hold it over your head. People can tell you a gazillion times just like with smoking. The only way to loose weight if you yourself really want it.
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    Oct 13, 2008 12:37 AM GMT
    I'm with Curious. Ask him to workout with you. If he is nervous, recommend that he talk to his doctor about starting an exercise program and if it is right for him. He may have other issues to work with if he is "extremely overweight" as you say.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 12:38 AM GMT
    grab his manboobs
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 12:42 AM GMT

    Um, if the sex is as good as he said, I'm sure he's already grabbin said man boobs.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 12:58 AM GMT
    Invite him to the gym. Say you want to workout together.
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    Oct 13, 2008 1:38 AM GMT
    I'd tell him the truth. If it was just a few pounds, that would be one thing, but if he is "extremely overweight," and it turns you off, I think that eventually it will be too much of a problem to let slide. You could tell him you like him and are attracted to him, but the weight is a turnoff. Tell him that you like him regardless, but if he really wants to turn you on, he needs to slim down. Stress that you are not insisting that he change, and that you don't expect him to get ripped, you are just telling him that you will be even more turned on if he gets to a healthy, height-weight proportionate figure. Offer to help and encourage him, in whatever way he chooses (he might prefer more dieting and aerobics at home than the gym). He should be grateful for the offer of help, and the fact that you are attracted to him anyway.

    If it's hard to talk about, you might write it down before you say it. You could give it to him to read, and ask him to read it, think about it, and discuss it with you shortly afterwards.

    If he is not receptive, you have to ask yourself if you can stay with him-- friendship might be better in that case than dating.
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    Oct 13, 2008 1:55 AM GMT
    if your not attracted to him why are you having sexy time?

    If your "close" enough to have sex, you're close enough to say, hey dude, lose the chub.
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    Oct 13, 2008 2:07 AM GMT
    Ofcourse, I've said it before: LOVE, means never having to say "You're FAT!"

    What I mean by that is, if he is fat and you don't care enough to end it....maybe you love him. Ofcourse, LOVE transcends body fads.

    You can LOVE a fat man....it's quite easy really. Ofcourse, maybe I'm just trying to recruit you, LOL.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 2:13 AM GMT
    Pretend you're concerned about his health being adversely affected by his weight, that way, you maintain the "honey I love you" bit without making him feel like you hate him for being fat icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 2:20 AM GMT
    Can I put my beer in your belly button while I go pee?

    You remind me of Tofu, but in a good way. Sorta.

    Can we buy a bigger bed? Its hard for me to sleep on a slope.

    My friends all think you have a great personality.

    Who ordered Ham?

    Hello? Police? A fat guy ate my boyfriend. Oops. Never mind.

    icon_twisted.gif


    I'm just kidding. Everyone has to start somewhere. But they have to want to start. And you need to decide what you want in your man and what's really important. Then you can tackle this issue.

    Seriously, who ordered Ham?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2008 3:17 AM GMT
    Set a positive example...

    "I really enjoying going to the gym why don't you come along we can workout together"
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    Oct 13, 2008 3:47 AM GMT
    There is no sugar coating this.
    No, he can't suggest the partner work out with him....because noone will work out for someone else and as we all know, he is implying something in the asking: that something is "you're fat!"

    Hey, we're talking about a possible real relationship on the horizon for these two. If that is the case, honesty is paramount. "I think we should work out together." is a cop out.

    What if he says "why."? I know, the OP responds with "because I want you healthy."

    What if the partner says "I'm fine." Then the conversation will turn into a back and forth exchange of excuses by the partner and reasons by the OP.
    Whom ever storms off first, the partner will get the picture. I'm pretty sure he won't like it.

    I can't understand why the OP can't just say something like "Baby....you're fat and you need to come to the gym with me and workout because.....I can't be unevenly yolked like this....call me crazy, I just can't."

    I think the partner will appreciate the OP's candidness and it's hard to refuse the suggestion if he knows it's not really a suggestion but a request. And, if a guy I like and have hot sex with makes a request of me, dang it, I grant it to the best of my ability.