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    Mar 17, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    ....
  • glen1231

    Posts: 8

    Mar 17, 2013 4:01 PM GMT
    i think guys in this age consider "friendship" as "sex or not", there is no friendship word in the dictionary.
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    Myol saidI know we're all supposed to really be into young dudes but I have a big-time mental block when it comes to this. I live in a college town and get a lot of guys who are 22-28 years old who want to chat online and then we end up meeting weeks down the line. I am clear that I'm only looking for friendships and I have no skin pics on those profiles. Many of the guys are beautiful with cool personalities. It's great being seen as a bigger brother/coach type. But these guys are vulnerable and impressionable and still trying to figure out life. When they want to get physical I feel like I'd be molesting them or that I've seduced them immorally.

    Ex. A 24 year old guy I had been chatting with for awhile came over to watch the games. About 10 minutes after he got here, he went into my bedroom and called my name, and when I went back there he was naked in my bed. I stared for a minute (body was incredible) but then I asked him to put his clothes on. I think I embarrassed him a little and then he left even though I tried to get him to stay. I've have several other situations similar to this. What is wrong with me?



    Gee, I wish I had this probelm..........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:13 PM GMT
    glen1231 saidi think guys in this age consider "friendship" as "sex or not", there is no friendship word in the dictionary.

    Not all
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 17, 2013 4:35 PM GMT
    When I was that age, the guys I knew my age were horny and still figuring out their way through life, just like me. Some were hustlers and some, like me, just tricking with whom ever for not even sure why. There are some old guys I tricked with back when I was young, that I think back and wonder what the hell I could I have been thinking of back then. I wish that some of those old pervs would have had the better sense that I did not have at the time, but the pervs didn't. Glad to hear you have some morals.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:41 PM GMT
    @Mylo

    It's a good thing for you to tell him to put his clothes on.
    In the future, if that guy comes to his senses...he will surely say thanks to you for not falling to him and resisting your temptations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:41 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with you. Do what you feel is right. And btw, not all guys are into younger. I'm not! I admire good looking young guys all the time but they're not dating material for me. My preference is around my age.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 17, 2013 4:48 PM GMT
    Maybe you shouldn't talk to younger guys if this is such an issue.

    And also, if you are meeting them online, then they are probably going to expect sex.
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    OP got some serious game. icon_lol.gif

    But seriously it's really refreshing to hear this. I'm sure most guys would have just went for it and worried about losing the friendship later. I really don't know what to tell you. If you're just looking to be a big brother type or mentor, I can't say that chatting it up with guys on the Internet is the way to go. There's gotta be some type of local organization/club where you can mentor young gay men.
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:56 PM GMT
    xrichx saidOP got some serious game. icon_lol.gif

    But seriously it's really refreshing to hear this. I'm sure most guys would have just went for it and worried about losing the friendship later. I really don't know what to tell you. If you're just looking to be a big brother type or mentor, I can't say that chatting it up with guys on the Internet is the way to go. There's gotta be some type of local organization/club where you can mentor young gay men.


    ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
    This
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidMaybe you shouldn't talk to younger guys if this is such an issue.

    And also, if you are meeting them online, then they are probably going to expect sex.


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    glen1231 saidi think guys in this age consider "friendship" as "sex or not", there is no friendship word in the dictionary.


    exactly. it's fucking ridiculous. dude, it's annoying how so many gay guys seem to think that there's NO such thing as a friendship where you can simply hang out and chill. no sex or anything of that nature. most of the guys won't even bother with you if they're not attracted to you where they have a shot of fucking or getting into a relationship. icon_confused.gif like damn, it doesn't have to be all about sex all the time. you just have to wonder if these dudes even know how to communicate with other guys besides fucking or dating.

    it's amazing how even on a site like okcupid. you can't even talk to guys on there about shit. they basically have their heads up their asses where they simply don't know how to talk to dudes if they aren't interested in dating. it's fucking retarded. then these are the same idiots that bitch and whine when guys treat them the same way they treat other people. you don't talk to dudes unless you're interested in having sex or dating them so how can you be surprised if guys come @ you like that. even in the real world, try talking to other gay guys to be friendly. they either want to fuck you and date you. if they're your friend, they'll pretty much distance themselves from you to the point where you rarely talk or say shit to them.

    i swear, that's one reason why i'm a bit annoyed with being gay. you have to deal with a lot of bullshit from everybody even guys that are gay like you. you just simply want to be able to live a normal life BUT people have to revolve that shit around love and sex. there's times where i simply want to just have fun. simply shoot pool. simply talk and hang out. you know, simply enjoy yourself. you do NOT have to date somebody or have sex to enjoy life. i have a kick ass time with my straight guy friends because we know how to let loose and have fun. i just wish that my gay counterparts could be the same damn way instead of fucking bullshit around, thinking with their dicks and hearts 24/7.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Mar 17, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    Are you making it CLEAR, on line, that you are seeking friendships, NOT SEX ?
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    Mar 17, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    ew. Because online, everyone must assume sex on the first date, unless noted otherwise?
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 17, 2013 10:29 PM GMT
    scaredmidget said
    glen1231 saidi think guys in this age consider "friendship" as "sex or not", there is no friendship word in the dictionary.


    exactly. it's fucking ridiculous. dude, it's annoying how so many gay guys seem to think that there's NO such thing as a friendship where you can simply hang out and chill. no sex or anything of that nature. most of the guys won't even bother with you if they're not attracted to you where they have a shot of fucking or getting into a relationship. icon_confused.gif like damn, it doesn't have to be all about sex all the time. you just have to wonder if these dudes even know how to communicate with other guys besides fucking or dating.

    it's amazing how even on a site like okcupid. you can't even talk to guys on there about shit. they basically have their heads up their asses where they simply don't know how to talk to dudes if they aren't interested in dating. it's fucking retarded. then these are the same idiots that bitch and whine when guys treat them the same way they treat other people. you don't talk to dudes unless you're interested in having sex or dating them so how can you be surprised if guys come @ you like that. even in the real world, try talking to other gay guys to be friendly. they either want to fuck you and date you. if they're your friend, they'll pretty much distance themselves from you to the point where you rarely talk or say shit to them.

    i swear, that's one reason why i'm a bit annoyed with being gay. you have to deal with a lot of bullshit from everybody even guys that are gay like you. you just simply want to be able to live a normal life BUT people have to revolve that shit around love and sex. there's times where i simply want to just have fun. simply shoot pool. simply talk and hang out. you know, simply enjoy yourself. you do NOT have to date somebody or have sex to enjoy life. i have a kick ass time with my straight guy friends because we know how to let loose and have fun. i just wish that my gay counterparts could be the same damn way instead of fucking bullshit around, thinking with their dicks and hearts 24/7.


    So hang out with straight guys...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2013 11:35 PM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    scaredmidget said
    glen1231 saidi think guys in this age consider "friendship" as "sex or not", there is no friendship word in the dictionary.


    exactly. it's fucking ridiculous. dude, it's annoying how so many gay guys seem to think that there's NO such thing as a friendship where you can simply hang out and chill. no sex or anything of that nature. most of the guys won't even bother with you if they're not attracted to you where they have a shot of fucking or getting into a relationship. icon_confused.gif like damn, it doesn't have to be all about sex all the time. you just have to wonder if these dudes even know how to communicate with other guys besides fucking or dating.

    it's amazing how even on a site like okcupid. you can't even talk to guys on there about shit. they basically have their heads up their asses where they simply don't know how to talk to dudes if they aren't interested in dating. it's fucking retarded. then these are the same idiots that bitch and whine when guys treat them the same way they treat other people. you don't talk to dudes unless you're interested in having sex or dating them so how can you be surprised if guys come @ you like that. even in the real world, try talking to other gay guys to be friendly. they either want to fuck you and date you. if they're your friend, they'll pretty much distance themselves from you to the point where you rarely talk or say shit to them.

    i swear, that's one reason why i'm a bit annoyed with being gay. you have to deal with a lot of bullshit from everybody even guys that are gay like you. you just simply want to be able to live a normal life BUT people have to revolve that shit around love and sex. there's times where i simply want to just have fun. simply shoot pool. simply talk and hang out. you know, simply enjoy yourself. you do NOT have to date somebody or have sex to enjoy life. i have a kick ass time with my straight guy friends because we know how to let loose and have fun. i just wish that my gay counterparts could be the same damn way instead of fucking bullshit around, thinking with their dicks and hearts 24/7.


    So hang out with straight guys...


    i do. i would like to hang out with more gay guys though since i'm still in the process of coming out to help me be more comfortable with myself. basically trying to establish a network of gay friends as support. i'm NOT out to my straight friends and i'm afraid they might reject me once they find out that i am gay. i don't want to be lonely. that's my biggest fear. i can't take my straight friends to the lgbt center, a gay bar, or the gay pride parade.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2013 12:33 AM GMT
    Myol saidI know we're all supposed to really be into young dudes but I have a big-time mental block when it comes to this. I live in a college town and get a lot of guys who are 22-28 years old who want to chat online and then we end up meeting weeks down the line. I am clear that I'm only looking for friendships and I have no skin pics on those profiles. Many of the guys are beautiful with cool personalities. It's great being seen as a bigger brother/coach type. But these guys are vulnerable and impressionable and still trying to figure out life. When they want to get physical I feel like I'd be molesting them or that I've seduced them immorally.

    Ex. A 24 year old guy I had been chatting with for awhile came over to watch the games. About 10 minutes after he got here, he went into my bedroom and called my name, and when I went back there he was naked in my bed. I stared for a minute (body was incredible) but then I asked him to put his clothes on. I think I embarrassed him a little and then he left even though I tried to get him to stay. I've have several other situations similar to this. What is wrong with me?



    Would you have stayed after u threw yourself at some and they rejected your advances? At that age away frm home most are consumed w/ new found freedom and sometimes sex. You know that on some level, why are you tempting youself w/ fire?
  • TroyAthlete

    Posts: 4269

    Mar 18, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    glen1231 saidi think guys in this age consider "friendship" as "sex or not", there is no friendship word in the dictionary.


    It's an astonishing phenomenon, not limited to young guys. One of my exes was fucking guys he had sworn up and down to me for months were just "friends" who were "there for him" or something. I naively figured that since they were "friends" there was no way they were having sex. Whoopsy-daisy, that was my first lesson in that "friends" in this community does not refer to the standard definition of friends.

    I've gone on to discover that here in WeHo, many gays sleep with their "friends" on a regular basis. It's no use explaining that these are fuckbuds, not friends. My paradigm is different, I think because I came out late. Most of my friends were always straight males with a few straight girls, and there was nothing sexual about it. In my pre-WeHo life a friend was a friend, not a lover. So I'm new to this "I fuck my friends whenever" thing.

    I think this different friend-coding is what prompts many gay dudes to fall for any attractive straight guy whose nice to them, claiming the straight guy is giving signs of wanting something sexual. Then when they give details of the 'suspect' behavior, it turns out the straight guy is just being friendly. They don't know the difference.

    My straight best friend enjoys coming out in WeHo with me. It's crazy how guys refuse to believe we're not sleeping together. 1) He's not into boys, 2) I'm not into straight dudes, and 3) He's my FRIEND. Why is this concept so difficult to grasp?

    I've had to cut off more than one potential gay friend because they couldn't stop hitting on me or pushing for more. Wtf? I can see 1) having a sexual relationship that doesn't work out THEN becoming friends or 2) getting drunk and slipping up once or twice and hooking up with a friend. But someone you're banging/sucking regularly sober is not just a friend (to me).
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 18, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with you OP! If anything it shows that you have class! and the young man, well what else can you expect!? he was just being his young hormonal self! although not all young gay men are like that; I am sure! you have my respect and admiration for the way you went about it! you are a classy guy!!
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    Mar 18, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    Myol saidI know we're all supposed to really be into young dudes but I have a big-time mental block when it comes to this. I live in a college town and get a lot of guys who are 22-28 years old who want to chat online and then we end up meeting weeks down the line. I am clear that I'm only looking for friendships and I have no skin pics on those profiles. Many of the guys are beautiful with cool personalities. It's great being seen as a bigger brother/coach type. But these guys are vulnerable and impressionable and still trying to figure out life. When they want to get physical I feel like I'd be molesting them or that I've seduced them immorally.

    Ex. A 24 year old guy I had been chatting with for awhile came over to watch the games. About 10 minutes after he got here, he went into my bedroom and called my name, and when I went back there he was naked in my bed. I stared for a minute (body was incredible) but then I asked him to put his clothes on. I think I embarrassed him a little and then he left even though I tried to get him to stay. I've have several other situations similar to this. What is wrong with me?



    You my friend are a gentleman! Nothing wrong with you at all. We need more like you icon_biggrin.gif
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Mar 18, 2013 12:58 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidMaybe you shouldn't talk to younger guys if this is such an issue.

    And also, if you are meeting them online, then they are probably going to expect sex.


    Very true unfortunately that is the case nine times out of ten!
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    Mar 18, 2013 1:03 AM GMT
    I don't think the problem lies in their age I think it lies in their maturity level. I've met 19 y/o who act extremely mature and I've seen 30+ act like they're 15. Hang out with whoever you'd like but in the end choose the one who fits you best. There's a lot more "misses" than "hits" so keep swinging.
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    Mar 18, 2013 1:05 AM GMT
    Myol saidI know we're all supposed to really be into young dudes

    Since when? icon_confused.gificon_confused.gificon_confused.gif
  • SomeSiciliano...

    Posts: 543

    Mar 18, 2013 1:07 AM GMT
    Good for sticking with you values. I don't think its a 'young guy thing' as much as its a 'guy thing' in the interwebz era. When making plans I feel awkward clarifying if Ihanging out involves lubricant.

    Back in the dark ages the cryptic message for people you met at the bar was 'go back to my place for a nightcap'.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Mar 18, 2013 3:29 AM GMT
    If a guy came over to my place and did that on first meet, I'd probably assume that's something he does a lot, which would be a big turn-off for many reasons. I probably would've done the same thing. Nothing's wrong with you (at least not in that situation).