My dad passed

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    Mar 17, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    My dad just passed a little while ago at age 89. He's been in hospice for the last several days so I knew it was coming within a few days. I didn't know it woudl be quite this soon though.

    I hope to God he can forgive me for my wild ways over the years. I know I was a big bunch of trouble.
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:09 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry. Mine passed away one year ago, and I often think of things I did to him, and he obviously forgave me, so I wouldn't let it bother you. Just remember him fondly. God Bless. icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree saidMy dad just passed a little while ago at age 89. He's been in hospice for the last several days so I knew it was coming within a few days. I didn't know it woudl be quite this soon though.

    I hope to God he can forgive me for my wild ways over the years. I know I was a big bunch of trouble.


    Condolences on this loss, FIF. I think wherever your dear Dad is, he's forgiven you; after all, you've been there for him this last while.


    We buried my cousin yesterday. Sudden and unexpected death at 68.
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:11 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear, my condolences...may he Rest In Peace...
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:12 PM GMT
    Thank you.

    Luck of the Irish ... on St Patrick's Day
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    Prayers for you & your family, may he rest in peace

    dont blame yourself for being bad or troublesome
    its a human nature, most gays had trouble with their fathers but from being strict & rude ,they love us no matter what we are,
    physical death exists ,but he would be living in ur thoghts forever

    also dont say u dont have a father still ,now god is your father ,ur spiritual father ,heark & hear him, think & feel him

    its a journey of your life,u would seen him on the resurrection oneday


    again sorry to hear that ,give my hugs to ur mom & siblings

    - Samuél
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:22 PM GMT
    I'm very sorry to heard that icon_sad.gif! You're in my thoughts. *hugs*
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 17, 2013 4:23 PM GMT
    My condolences ... I'm not sure what you mean by your wild ways, but you are here to live your life for yourself, sometimes it doesn't coincide with what our parents want from us or how they choose to live their lives. What is important is that he knew you loved him ... may you find peace in your heart and may your father be at peace with his life to move on to the next
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    Mar 17, 2013 4:58 PM GMT
    *Hugs* I'm so sorry for your loss!!

    May he rest in forever peace and happiness!
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    Mar 17, 2013 5:54 PM GMT
    *Group Hug*
    Both of my parents have passed, what I've learned is that if there's truly any forgiveness to be had, it is with ourselves.
    Live your life with accountabity. Care for and love yourself. Give your spirit as you wish it to be received.
    All the best to you.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Mar 17, 2013 6:26 PM GMT
    My deepest condolence for you and your love ones! my father passed away a long time ago! we were very close even thou my parents separated when I was only 9 years old. although that didn't stop him from being a Dad!! may your Dad rest in peace, and believe me he is in a better place then any of us right now!

    God Bless!
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Mar 17, 2013 6:31 PM GMT
    You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers......Steve
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:35 PM GMT
    Giving you and your father my prayers.
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:40 PM GMT
    sorry to hear that man, my dad passed away at 47, back when I was 13. I can tell you this - my dad and I were really close, up until a certain point when he started drinking and being distant. I started to hate him for a lot of reasons and couldn't overcome it -- in fact, I remember once standing in my room, trying to talk myself up to just smile at him when I would pass by him in my living room -- and I couldn't do it. I cringed a little just looking at him, and I was disappointed in myself for it.

    The minute he passed away, i legit forgot everything 'bad' he had ever done, and started remembering all the great things instead - things i had long forgotten. I felt guilty for (what felt like) a long time, but it got me nowhere. Going to sound cliche here, but your dad wouldn't want you sulking over 'little things' like that (and they really are the 'little things' once you start to put things into perspective).

    I have to believe all of that is applicable for the person dying too. I mean, how could it not? From all the thoughts he could be having at that moment, do you really think he was thinking about your wild days, or just in general that he loves you and your family? Focus on that man. Use THAT to propel you in this stage of your life. At the end of it all, he loved you, and you loved him, and that's that. You can't focus on the things that you did that he didn't like - everyone knows, you can't live your life for another person, and we all define things differently. For my mom, me going out drinking with friends once in a month is 'wild', haha. Perspective man. It puts everything in place.

    OH and by the way, never have regrets for something you did earlier. Every thought has a bit of logic behind it, at least at some point, and you needed to go through it to get to where you are today.

    just-breathe.jpg
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:45 PM GMT
    My heart goes out to you...!
    Big gay giant hug with mild groping..
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    Again, my deepest thanks to everyone.

    My mind is flooded right now with all the really bad things I did. I forgot from the list above regarding the cannon that shot D-cell batteries that Mark (HS bromance) and I made in 12th grade metal shop in high school.

    I'm also remembering some good things (and NOT his farts on family vacation in the car). I only started golfing six or seven years ago so I could go golfing with him before it was too late. I still remember him laughing at me when I hit the same tree and the ball bounced and hit me twice from the rough on two consecutive shots.
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    Mar 17, 2013 6:50 PM GMT
    Anocxu saidMy heart goes out to you...!
    Big gay giant hug with mild groping..


    I have very very firm boobs for groping!

    And thank you!
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    Mar 17, 2013 7:02 PM GMT
    freedomisntfree saidAgain, my deepest thanks to everyone.

    My mind is flooded right now with all the really bad things I did. I forgot from the list above regarding the cannon that shot D-cell batteries that Mark (HS bromance) and I made in 12th grade metal shop in high school.

    I'm also remembering some good things (and NOT his farts on family vacation in the car). I only started golfing six or seven years ago so I could go golfing with him before it was too late. I still remember him laughing at me when I hit the same tree and the ball bounced and hit me twice from the rough on two consecutive shots.


    Okay, well here's a question for you. Isolating yourself from your past, at this exact second, do you think you're a good person? Do you think you've come along way since your 'wild days'?

    the fact that your able to question your past now means you have. And again, trust me, that's all your dad cared about, at the end of it all
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 17, 2013 7:05 PM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear about your father's passing. I'm sure he forgave you. Forgiveness is easy when you love someone.
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    Mar 17, 2013 7:10 PM GMT
    Our condolences. 89 is not a bad life, nor is having a son who cares until the end.
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    Mar 17, 2013 7:14 PM GMT
    I am sorry to hear of your loss. It was a good age and it sounds like you were a good son to him.
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    Mar 17, 2013 8:03 PM GMT
    My 'coming out' 43 years ago had to be very hard for them, but never ever a word of criticism from them. Must have been very tough for a WW II Navy pilot to deal with. I was in everyone's face as much as I could be. I feel pretty bad about causing so much unnecessary grief. And then second to that was all of my car antics, which got me in quite a bit of trouble.
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    Mar 17, 2013 8:15 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear that. I miss mine every single day in 20 yrs and didn't have close relationship....
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    Mar 17, 2013 8:16 PM GMT
    My deepest condolences to you and your fam.
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    Mar 17, 2013 8:17 PM GMT
    Let it go. We have all done things we wish we would have handled differently but the reality is, we do the best we can based on where we are at in the life process. Your Dad didn't make it to 89 without knowing this, so let it go, I'm sure he did. You were his son and he loved you, focus on that.