Interesting article: The Way We Desire

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 18, 2013 4:18 AM GMT
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-stephens/the-way-we-desire-now_b_2852766.html

    Thought it was an interesting article. Thoughts?
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    Mar 18, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    Its a similar article to what I've read before. Tools like Grindr, do in the end exploit ourselves to be body image desirable. Plus the way we advertise ourselves, 'The Gay Straight Man looking for Same' , no wonder so many guys are single...icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 18, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-stephens/the-way-we-desire-now_b_2852766.html
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    Mar 18, 2013 5:51 AM GMT
    folks want to be valued for their physical more so than who they are as a person and they treat people around them the same. then when it comes to their personality as a person, who they are, and etc, they treat that as a second priority. icon_lol.gif superficiality at its finest. that's the reason why you'll have some gay guys with some shitty attitudes outthere. they think that their shit doesn't stink though.

    i feel that many gay guys don't value their personalities more so than their looks so that's the reason why most gay folks simply can't interact with each other on a friendly level for the most part without even throwing sex and relationship potential into the equation. how many gay guys can be just friends with each other though?
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Mar 18, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    i only read the posts of hot, white, muscled, masc guys
  • newtosyr

    Posts: 40

    Mar 18, 2013 10:10 PM GMT
    I don't think it's necessarily a quality that is limited to gay men! Yes, for any person on some level attraction is based on what you find desireable. Initially, that inevitably means physical attributes. We all have certain extern attributes that we are drawn to. That may be physical characteristics or may be an "air" that a person projects or displays. And yes, if all you desire is sex, attraction is based solely on physical desire

    Historically, there have been many gay people who have expressed an idea tha to be gay means we must abandon all of society's standards for relationships. Most specifically that we're supposed to spend our lives chasing after a higher quantity of relationships with other men, rather than try to establish more quality relationships. That assumes, of course on one level that long-term intimate relationships (which at some point have to move beyond purely physical requirements) are exclusively heterosexual. I doubt that all straight people desire nothing but lasting emotional relationships! Perhaps part of this thinking stems from many of us defining ourselves primarily through our sexual desires. What else *could* we expect then?!

    I also think its a HUGE generalization to claim that gay men are destined for and ONLY desire physical contact with other men! While that may be true for , that does mean it is for all! If you feel "trapped" at that stage, I highly recommend The Velvet Rage, where he talks about the obsession with success as well as the lack of models for lasting gay relationships?

    While sex is great, I look for more than a sex-centered relationship. But that and I must desire more than the surface and insist on nothing less than an emotional connection. But that is me: I firmly believe that ultimately we all (gay and straight) ultimately end up with what we most deeply desire. Maybe it's time to ask yourself why you keep ending up with men who are obsessed with appearing to be sexually attractive with a perfectly-sculpted body...
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    Mar 18, 2013 10:26 PM GMT
    It's interesting, but a limited view.
    If you spend most of your time on the same app or same site or at the same bar that caters to a specific type, then of course you would assume that everyone is interested in the same type. You would probably try to conform to that type's ideal.

    Here's a secret: people have diverse interests. Even in the gay community, not everyone is looking for the same thing.
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    Mar 19, 2013 12:37 AM GMT
    coffeemate saidhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-stephens/the-way-we-desire-now_b_2852766.html

    Thought it was an interesting article. Thoughts?


    Concerning cell phones. A friend of mine said he met a guy the other day in a bar after meeting him online. My friend's date compulsively checked his phone multiple times during their conversation. Later, when they were having sex my friend's date took a call on his cell phone. Obviously, this douche won't get a second date with my friend.

    Turning to apps, here is a link to a blog that reproduces especially pathetic pics and profiles from Grindr. You don't know whether to laugh or cry most of the time.

    http://www.douchebagsofgrindr.com/
  • He_Man

    Posts: 906

    Mar 19, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    justin_pal said
    coffeemate saidhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-stephens/the-way-we-desire-now_b_2852766.html

    Thought it was an interesting article. Thoughts?


    Later, when they were having sex my friend's date took a call on his cell phone.



    Bwahahaha... OMG That was the funniest thing I've read today. Really, who would do such a thing?

    I so have to have a mental picture of this. Who was topping and who was bottoming? That's too funny. I wish I could have heard the conversation. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 19, 2013 12:49 AM GMT
    He_Man said
    justin_pal said
    coffeemate saidhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-stephens/the-way-we-desire-now_b_2852766.html

    Thought it was an interesting article. Thoughts?


    Later, when they were having sex my friend's date took a call on his cell phone.



    Bwahahaha... OMG That was the funniest thing I've read today. Really, who would do such a thing?

    I so have to have a mental picture of this. Who was topping and who was bottoming? That's too funny. I wish I could have heard the conversation. icon_lol.gif




    I've gotten and given head while the other was on the phone.....one guy was a cop, talking to his boss, and we continued without missing a beat..It was a riot....LOL!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 2:52 AM GMT
    The media this... the media that...

    Convergence of tastes is a (sad) fact and if one is not fortunate to be what most people want, then it must be the media/the apps/etc...

    Why can't we just take it for what it is? Ever heard of a thing called "bad luck"? Not many people are into lanky pale guys, I got the message already, thank you. But I'm not blaming anyone as if being into me were some kind of moral debt. I don't think people who reject me because of my looks are shallow: they chose their taste in men as much as I chose my parents. You can't make people change their taste, it is beyond any conscious control, all petitions for such change are in vain. It's amazing how this seems to be beyond the perception of many -- perhaps because playing victim is easier than dealing with the truth.