Bye Bi?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 6:14 AM GMT
    I'm sure there are tons of threads on this topic already but I don't feel like doing the search engine thing so I'm starting a new one. icon_lol.gif

    I came across this on the users' comments section of an article I was reading:

    All of the men I've met over the years who identified as "bi" eventually got over themselves and admitted actually to being a great big ole 'mo.

    I think if you took all the bisexual men who are equally turned on by both men and women, and got them together for lunch, they would fit in the big booth at any Waffle House...


    Do you think this is accurate? How many men have you known IRL who have identified as bi, but you believed them and genuinely took their word at face value that they were bi?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    I have met truly BI guys... Why is it impossible to love ...love? and/or true beauty?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 6:26 AM GMT
    Most of the guys I've known are in the gay spectrum and not bi, but I've always wondered about men who identify as bi and not gay. Are they telling the truth? Or is it a cop out so they won't be labeled as a "fag"?
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Mar 19, 2013 6:31 AM GMT
    all the bi guys I've known were I really just straight horny guys
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 6:43 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidall the bi guys I've known were I really just straight horny guys
    Interesting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 6:47 AM GMT
    lagwm saidMost of the guys I've known are in the gay spectrum and not bi, but I've always wondered about men who identify as bi and not gay. Are they telling the truth? Or is it a cop out so they won't be labeled as a "fag"?
    I think it's a little of both.
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Mar 19, 2013 7:02 AM GMT
    I'll never understand the whole bisexual skepticism thing.
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    Mar 19, 2013 3:43 PM GMT
    I think because gay closeted guys tend to use bisexuality as a stepping stone for accepting themselves as being gay it has left truly bisexuals without an identification that isn't perceived as being confusing.

    In my opinion there are guys that are bi and just love sex with both men and women. I think these guys are very comfortable with their sexuality and therefore able to open that to either sex and find enjoyment.

    I also believe that as society begins to accept homosexuality more, the need for guys to step from a closeted str8 to a bisexual to a gay man will be less. The quote that you've mentioned is typical of those who are struggling with accepting that they are gay because they fear how society (including friends and family) will accept them (or not). There are two different definitions for a guy claiming he's bi, one is the closeted gay coming out one step at a time and the other is the truly bi guy who is comfortable with his sexuality and enjoys both genders.
  • kuroshiro

    Posts: 786

    Mar 19, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    So a bi guy settles down with a guy. What's that make him? Gay. Bi guy settles down with a girl. What's that make him? Straight. You can't play the middle road forever.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Mar 19, 2013 3:49 PM GMT
    lagwm saidMost of the guys I've known are in the gay spectrum and not bi, but I've always wondered about men who identify as bi and not gay. Are they telling the truth? Or is it a cop out so they won't be labeled as a "fag"?


    There is no gay spectrum if you follow any of the scales. Gay and straight exist as one of the extremes, and the entirety of the scale is dedicated to the bisexuals.

    If you are 99% attracted to men, bot only 1% attracted to women, you are still bi. Gay and straight exist only at 100% at either extreme...
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 19, 2013 3:50 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidThere are two different definitions for a guy claiming he's bi, one is the closeted gay coming out one step at a time and the other is the truly bi guy who is comfortable with his sexuality and enjoys both genders.

    Add to this what AMoonHawk said, "all the bi guys I've known were really just straight horny guys," and we pretty much have it covered.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 19, 2013 3:53 PM GMT
    kuroshiro saidSo a bi guy settles down with a guy. What's that make him? Gay. Bi guy settles down with a girl. What's that make him? Straight. You can't play the middle road forever.

    Uh, no. I "settled down" (was in fact in love with and partnered with) a woman for over 10 years. I *never* self-identified as either 'bi' or 'straight'. I was gay. I knew I was gay. My lover knew I was gay. All our friends knew I was gay. Was it a point of some confusion? Hell yeah but NO ONE who knew me ever thought I was straight.
  • Medjai

    Posts: 2671

    Mar 19, 2013 3:55 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    kuroshiro saidSo a bi guy settles down with a guy. What's that make him? Gay. Bi guy settles down with a girl. What's that make him? Straight. You can't play the middle road forever.

    Uh, no. I "settled down" (was in fact in love with and partnered with) a woman for over 10 years. I *never* self-identified as either 'bi' or 'straight'. I was gay. I knew I was gay. My lover knew I was gay. All our friends knew I was gay. Was it a point of some confusion? Hell yeah but NO ONE who knew me ever thought I was straight.


    Agreed. Sexuality is based on attraction, not the relationship. Just because a bi guy settles with a guy doesn't suddenly mar him stop being attracted to women...
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    I know/know of/am aware of A LOT of Bi guys who would have DL sex (only) with another 'discrete' guy/s , but they still want sex with women just as much (if not more than) and want to or be in (viewable) relationships with women, only.

    This type is usually so closeted/mentally stunted that they'll openly bash gay people with no hesitation, in an attempt to appear as the complete opposite to that which they are attacking. Not always, but it's common.

    They all identify with the label 'straight', but, that doesn't change the fact that they are clearly Bi, at the very least.

    From my anecdotal life experience, i've found this type of 'secretly' bi guy to be much, much, muccchhhhh more common than bona fide, exclusively, hetero guys.

    I'm a great judge of a person's true character, as opposed to the one they want to project to the world, and for the most part my suspicions tend to be externally justified and validated at some point.

    I think the type of guys you refer to, who openly self-identify as 'bi' and then usually end up being almost if not exclusively gay as time goes by are part of a social phenomenon that is becoming less and less prevalent as society evolves to be less ignorant and close-minded to that which deviates from the macro-ideological cultural norm(s).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    2 years ago I labeled myself as bisexual, I think a lot of young gay people go through that phase when they consider themselves as bisexual. It kinda feels that being bi is half normal? If that makes any sense. It felt that I was at least a bit heterosexual even though I'm not attracted to girls. Maybe I was ashamed to call myself gay that's why I considered being bisexual before.

    Anyone of you guys had the same experience? icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    Give it a rest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:15 PM GMT
    No I do not agree with this statement. I have gotten to know a few people that are sexually attracted to both men and women. To me I believe that being Bisexual is no more of a choice than identifying as Gay or Lesbian
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:16 PM GMT
    Whenever a gay guy is skeptical that I could be attracted to both genders and it's not really a choice of mine, I think, "wow, this gay guy is exactly like my Dad who thinks that gay guys are fooling themselves and choosing to act gay."

    It's amazing how much in common some gay guys have with my anti-gay father! Same bias, just different group of people.

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    Mar 19, 2013 4:29 PM GMT
    PolaroidSwinger saidI'll never understand the whole bisexual skepticism thing.


    Insexurity: being insecure with your own sexuality, presenting itself as overcompensation.

    This is just like the God question: Do you believe in bisexuals? Is omnisexuality possible? If God can or can't create a boulder heavier than He can lift, can a bisexual imagine a gender that won't get His dick hard? The mystery is unfathomable. We'll just have to accept bisexuality on faith or not believe in it at all. Decision pending proof.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    MikeW said
    eb925guy saidThere are two different definitions for a guy claiming he's bi, one is the closeted gay coming out one step at a time and the other is the truly bi guy who is comfortable with his sexuality and enjoys both genders.

    Add to this what AMoonHawk said, "all the bi guys I've known were really just straight horny guys," and we pretty much have it covered.
    So...... what you're basically saying is you agree with the quote I posted at the beginning of this thread, which is that a guy saying he's bi is a cop out and he's really 100% gay? Or not??
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:46 PM GMT
    _SAGE_ saidI know/know of/am aware of A LOT of Bi guys who would have DL sex (only) with another 'discrete' guy/s , but they still want sex with women just as much (if not more than) and want to or be in (viewable) relationships with women, only.

    This type is usually so closeted/mentally stunted that they'll openly bash gay people with no hesitation, in an attempt to appear as the complete opposite to that which they are attacking. Not always, but it's common.

    They all identify with the label 'straight', but, that doesn't change the fact that they are clearly Bi, at the very least.

    From my anecdotal life experience, i've found this type of 'secretly' bi guy to be much, much, muccchhhhh more common than bona fide, exclusively, hetero guys.

    I'm a great judge of a person's true character, as opposed to the one they want to project to the world, and for the most part my suspicions tend to be externally justified and validated at some point.

    I think the type of guys you refer to, who openly self-identify as 'bi' and then usually end up being almost if not exclusively gay as time goes by are part of a social phenomenon that is becoming less and less prevalent as society evolves to be less ignorant and close-minded to that which deviates from the macro-ideological cultural norm(s).
    Very interesting, thanks.
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Mar 19, 2013 4:49 PM GMT
    I am begging you, please don't start this again. Half of RJ will come on to say that bisexuals are promiscuous and untrustworthy, and the other half will get righteously indignant. The End.
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    Mar 19, 2013 4:49 PM GMT
    ManFromNJ saidWhenever a gay guy is skeptical that I could be attracted to both genders and it's not really a choice of mine, I think, "wow, this gay guy is exactly like my Dad who thinks that gay guys are fooling themselves and choosing to act gay."

    It's amazing how much in common some gay guys have with my anti-gay father! Same bias, just different group of people.



    Not hypocrisy coming from the gay community...that nevvvvvver happens. icon_lol.gif
  • thegaymessiah

    Posts: 214

    Mar 19, 2013 4:50 PM GMT
    im kind of in the 'everybody is bisexual camp.'

    im just turned on by hot shit, the gender is kind of irrelevant, although i have never been turned on by lesbian porn, like at all so im probably gay.

    i consider myself mostly gay but a little bi. the straight side usually isn't strong enough to pursue, i'd have to hang around with a girl for a long time before i'd want to do something with her. and it has to be a blonde or redhead, don't dig brunettes at all.

    the fact is your body will be turned on and stimulated by any gender even if you don't want it to. being gay or straight is more of a romantic thing based on your emotions or something... it's what you want more emotionally. a lot of people turn homosexuality into some sort of 'fetish' - just more being picked on because it's in the minority. we used to be so mean to left-handers too, and i happen to be both.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:53 PM GMT
    I believe that truly bi guys have no problem letting other people know about their bisexuality. The ones that do have a problem and are on the DL are closeted homos that as soon as societal/familial/cultural/religious taboos were removed from homosexuality they would suddenly discover they were gay all along and come prancing out of the closet farting glittter rainbows. (Just my humble opinion.)

    I find sexuality can be situational. For example, if I were stranded on a deserted island with only casaba melons to eat, it would only be a matter of time before I was sticking my dick in its soft pulpy innards. I'm just saying...

    Does that make me melon-sexual?