Aren't our Dads more supportive to us than anyone else in family

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    Mar 19, 2013 6:51 AM GMT
    My Dad is like a "I can die for god" kind of christian & my mom "my god is everything" kind of christian & have two elder brothers younger conservative & elder very understanding.
    our denomination falls under Protestant ,
    they live word to word with the bible

    my mom came to know bout me when I told her & then my brothers , no one dared to say that to my dad , but he came to know I'm gay through my church leader who tried helping me (im so stupid sometimes ) , for a month he spoke not a word to me

    he never asked me or scolded me,its mid-eastern family but still ,
    when my mom says me to be traditional ,he comforts her, & when a gay character comes up on TV he simply smiles at me (he used to change the channel before knowing me as gay) ,he knows I am in danger so stands back of me like a rock,he wants to educate me as much I want(unlike all the brothers in our family clan of 37 siblings of our whole big joint family) , he takes me to occasions with pride ,he told me (after knowing in gay) where he keeps the money (not even my mom knows it),he firstly behaved very rude to me then things are changing & when I sleep (i pretend) I've seen him enter my room & pray for my well being & leave

    all the family members wanted me to get married at 21 but he's given his judgement to all the giant family . He left the decision of marrying to me,it was horrible when all wanted me to get married & cure myself with love of a woman,I don't have hate for them as its the culture.
    but I guess I'm a happy man ,now

    my father is an epic conservative Arab christian but at first he is my father & we will always be closer not matter what , almost all gays got killed during iraq war by jihadis with unbelievable death records & still are ,but having a father like him is the biggest gift .

    I have support & feel bad for those who got isolated from their parents after coming out
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    Mar 19, 2013 7:08 AM GMT
    My father was nothing like the one you describe. When I was growing up he refused to call gay people "gay" as he believed using the term "gay" to describe a homosexual was a perversion of the English language.
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    Mar 19, 2013 6:24 PM GMT
    I think has been posted somewhere else before but still....

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    Mar 19, 2013 6:37 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidI think has been posted somewhere else before but still....

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    Really cute, but remind 'the dad' that it should be Michael, not Mike, if gay.

    I never once caught any disparagement from dad for what he thought my sexual preference was. Had a lot of other issues with dad growing up, generally revolving around cars and racing .... 80%. Some around firearms as he didn't really want guns in the house as he'd seen enough violence in WW II. Although he was certainly a Republican, I was far more of a right-winger than he was.
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    Mar 19, 2013 8:21 PM GMT
    I guess a religious Christian can be loving and supportive after all. Things do change......
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    Mar 19, 2013 8:41 PM GMT
    I'll let you know when I come out.
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    Mar 19, 2013 8:44 PM GMT
    WaytoDawn saidI'll let you know when I come out.


    Don't let anyone force the decision on you. Come out when you're damn good and ready.
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    Mar 19, 2013 8:55 PM GMT
    my father was cool about it. don't think he gave a fuck to be honest like a whole lot of other things involving other people. he was ready to tell me how i should deal with it first though like "you need to go on a date with a girl to know that you're gay for sure." he took it better than my mom though. my mom on the other hand, she was disappointed but not like "oh my god, you're gay. get out of my house." for the most part, me being gay didn't change my family's views towards homosexuality. my mom doesn't agree with it and she is against gay marriage. icon_cry.gif

    the only thing that i'm happy about is that they didn't kick me out the house because of it. still live with my parents though at 26 years old. embarrassing, i know.
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    Mar 19, 2013 9:05 PM GMT
    Blakes7 saidI guess a religious Christian can be loving and supportive after all. Things do change......


    My parent are both very religious Catholics. I never heard them say a disparaging word against homosexuals the whole time I was growing up yet somehow I never had the courage to come out until late in life. I thought I would disappoint them (being the eldest son and all). When my younger brother came out to them they were upset but Dad was more accepting than mom, who took a little longer. By the time I came out it wasn't a big deal (I was out of the house and self supporting), although mom is a bit embarassed at having TWO gay sons. Actually all three of her sons are gay! She knows the third is, but is in denial as is he.

    HAHA my parents are so supportive of the gay community they gave the world three of them.
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    Mar 20, 2013 1:18 AM GMT
    Although my father is a reasonably decent human being, he kind of made my life a living hell for years. My mother, on the other hand, was my rock and my solace. My best friend and my wisest adviser. She was a never ending fount of support until the day she died.
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    Mar 20, 2013 1:21 AM GMT
    I am not really close to either one of my parents. But if I had to choose it would be my mother. However, my father, is the only one who has supported my decisions in my life. He also told me if I was gay he would not give two shits, and just wants me to be happy. Which is a huge shock because he is a huge CONSERVATIVE. But I have yet to come out to them for some odd reason, but I do know that when I do, it will be fine, and he will probably support me the most.
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    Mar 20, 2013 1:38 AM GMT
    Both of my parents are supportive, but it was much less of an issue for my mom. Since I don't fit the classic gay stereotypes, my dad has always held on to the idea that I'm confused and it's a phase I'll grow out of. He's more of a macho, blue-collar type guy who was popular with the ladies when he was young, so the concept of homosexuality is kind of foreign to him. He still thinks that maybe I just haven't been trying hard enough to find the right girl (LOL!). But he's coming around and he's definitely been making an effort to try an understand, especially over the last year or so.
  • Timbales

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    Mar 20, 2013 1:43 AM GMT
    My father doesn't care about me at all, let alone the fact I'm gay.
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    Mar 20, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    My mother doesn't have a problem with gay people. She used to work with them years ago at a store called Wilsons Leather. Now, my father, I can't stand. We don't have that great of a relationship. Whenever, I hear my mom's cell phone ring, I think it's him calling, and then I wonder what type of mood he's going to be in.
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    Mar 20, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    Ironically my dad, who is an asshole, didn't care about me being gay (he had a gay uncle). He did, however, tell a very fragile little 13-year-old me that the people at the christmas party were only being nice to me because they felt sorry for me. icon_cry.gif
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    Mar 20, 2013 2:09 AM GMT
    RoadsterRacer87 saidHe did, however, tell a very fragile little 13-year-old me that the people at the christmas party were only being nice to me because they felt sorry for me. icon_cry.gif


    That's my dad to a T! A month after my beloved mother died, he took the time to sneer at me that I was, "pathetic." That he can still wound me at my age makes me think he's at least partially right.
  • monet

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    Mar 20, 2013 2:26 AM GMT
    It all depends on the dad.

    My father is a major jackass and I've only spoken to him a handful of times over the past ten years.
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    Mar 20, 2013 2:44 AM GMT
    I have no doubt that my Dad knew that I like guys, but we never talked about it til the day he passed. He supported me as best he could in everything I did, but I also think he was always kind of sad about who I am. I think that is why I never said anything to him, cause I felt that telling him my Truth would have forced him to feel that sadness head on, and I was never really sure he could handle it, what with other traumas he had had to face along the way.
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:11 AM GMT
    I was lucky enough to tell my dad about two month before he passed. We were never on great terms. We're too similar in some respects (adventurous, stubborn) and too dissimilar in other respects. He said that he was okay with it and when I went to America to to see him one last time, he was at peace.

    Granted he voted for Prop 8, and said some horrible things (two men can't raise kids) but I think he would have changed over time.

    My mom still loves me, but doesn't know how to reconcile her feelings about homosexuality. I think it was because I told them during a time when my dad's health was ailing (didn't know since my mom just came back from Europe/Africa, brother was in the midwest on business, and I was, well not in CA...nobody called me).
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:15 AM GMT
    My dad is in his sixties and comes from a Catholic background. We always had a great relationship, but because of his age and upbringing I was terrified that he might not be able to handle having a gay son.

    When I came out he was shocked, but he just told me he loved me and that that would never change. I know it was hard on him, but he did everything he could not to show it.

    Now he's as supportive as can be, and I respect him all the more. He even gives me relationship/dating advice lol!
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:20 AM GMT
    My dad was and still has been awesome about it. I won't pretend, however, that that all dads are this supportive. I think the media and movie industry could do a better job with the caricature of the "masculine dad" though and show the acceptance stories more than the heart wrenching rejection side.