My fantasy is to watch my bf mess around with another dude

  • heyman

    Posts: 48

    Mar 19, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    I have been dating this guy for a year and a half, and sex is normal, good and satisfying enough. He is great at his rol (top), and maybe that's why I have had this fantasy for the past few months. I wanna see him do what he does best from another angle.
    I have always been the jealous one in the relationship, so I fear that he may question this fantasy too much. I know that I would allo myself to put jealousy feelings aside because the satisfaction and arousal of seeing him top some guy would be greater.
    I don't know how to come up and say this to him. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:19 PM GMT
    Because you have a history of jealousy, he would be rational to worry about the effect of realizing this fantasy. But you won't know until you guys talk about it.

    Think about it this way. If you can't talk about it, you're not ready for it to happen. I wouldn't rush into it.

    As to how to bring it up, you can bring it up in a broader conversation about sex, which is always a good idea to do in a relationship from time to time anyway.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 19, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    OP: your "fantasy" is an inviation to emotional/relationship disaster.


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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    I have heard so many stories about heterosexual men who fantasize about seeing their wife/girlfriend have sex with another man, and they're the "spectator." I think this fantasy (or at least a variation of it) might be a lot more common than you realize.

    Of course, the issue is what looks beautiful in a fantasy doesn't always translate into real life. Theory and practice aren't always the same thing.

    I read somewhere about the psychological inner workings that fuels this type of fantasy. I can't remember all of the details at the moment, though.
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    I've had similar fantasies, except with my bottom ex bf getting pounded, likewise because I like the view from afar. My friends tell me it's cuz I've been watching too much porn, and have become accustomed to that angle. icon_sad.gif
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    Mar 20, 2013 5:44 AM GMT
    When I dated a bi guy, I used to HATE the thought of him with a woman, however it really used to get me off when he'd tell me stories of when he hooked up with other guys. But I think real life would differ from fantasy quite a bit if I actually saw my boyfriend having sex with another guy, even if it WAS my idea.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 12:32 PM GMT
    XDanW saidWhen I dated a bi guy, I used to HATE the thought of him with a woman, however it really used to get me off when he'd tell me stories of when he hooked up with other guys. But I think real life would differ from fantasy quite a bit if I actually saw my boyfriend having sex with another guy, even if it WAS my idea.


    This.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3525

    Mar 20, 2013 4:05 PM GMT
    if you just want to see another angle, film it (and post it) so you can watch.
    if you are jealous you will always blame him down the road for cheating and he wont have a leg to stand on because you will blame him irrationally.

    I would suggest if you do this that YOU do something first so it is your fault not his alone.

    I would also suggest 4 instead of 3 as 3 is awkward for the most part.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 20, 2013 4:06 PM GMT
    Larkin said
    XDanW saidWhen I dated a bi guy, I used to HATE the thought of him with a woman, however it really used to get me off when he'd tell me stories of when he hooked up with other guys. But I think real life would differ from fantasy quite a bit if I actually saw my boyfriend having sex with another guy, even if it WAS my idea.


    This.





    This X 69.

    What looks erotic and entertaining in a porno movie doesn't always work out well in Real Life.



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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 5:40 PM GMT
    I had a BF who arranged for me to have sex with his visiting friend, while he watched us. We also had some 3-ways.

    The best for me was when he set up a shower scene for the visitor & me, in the gang shower of a college gym locker room. That was already a fantasy of mine, I suppose from all my years of chaste communal showering in the Army. So my BF kept guard at the shower room entrance as he watched us, fully dressed himself, while we had sex under the water spray.

    This is the story I've told here before, of a shock for me coming afterwards, when after several days of having sex with this visiting houseguest my BF told me he was a priest! icon_eek.gif
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 20, 2013 6:25 PM GMT
    I think some couples can share fantasies with each other and work it out to make the fantasies a reality.
    Sometimes it's best kept as a fantasy - just because bring it up with the other half might not be welcomed and sometimes the idea of a fantasy is much better than the reality.
    You'll know in time if the BF is open to some of the fantasies you've got rolling around in your head - at that point you might be able to talk about making them reality.
    Otherwise, just keep your nasty thoughts to yourself if you value your relationship.
  • Lucky350

    Posts: 167

    Mar 20, 2013 8:18 PM GMT
    Yikes... *slowly walking the other way*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 9:12 PM GMT
    Video tape yourselves.. ???

    Not sure about your thread though..
    ..Your name is "ICE" and you are fantasizing about "Hot Water" icon_wink.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 9:41 PM GMT
    It's a form of the fetish called "cuckolding".