Problems with talking to attractive guys

  • spencoid

    Posts: 21

    Mar 19, 2013 9:05 PM GMT
    Hey guys-
    For those of you out there that know you are considered good looking, do you usually use this as a reason to not approach guys?
    I have a solid set of self confidence but it never seems like the guys I'm attracted to approach me. Is it me? Or do I just seem to like guys that like to be chased after rather than chase?
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    Mar 19, 2013 9:24 PM GMT
    I have the same problem, I see guys that are interested but never approach me. I'm actually pretty shy, and if both people are shy don't expect miracles.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 19, 2013 9:57 PM GMT
    Seric saidI have the same problem, I see guys that are interested but never approach me. I'm actually pretty shy, and if both people are shy don't expect miracles.


    Yeah, I would agree here but I'm trying to become more sociable when it comes to things like that. Because if you think about it, if you and the guy are interested in each other but afraid to approach each other, if you take the plunge, it might not turn out so bad like you think subconsciously. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 19, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    What exactly is a "solid set of self confidence."
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    Mar 19, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    I don't consider myself to be particularly good looking but enough people contact me (on dating apps) that I don't feel the need to initiate contact with others except once every 2 or 3 months. Pretty lazy I guess haha.
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    Mar 19, 2013 10:22 PM GMT
    #prettypeoplesproblems
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    Mar 19, 2013 10:32 PM GMT
    Boiz, you have to go after and bag those men if you want the goods.

    Don't be waiting around for them to come around and catch you. You will grow old and dry if you don't snag what you desire.

    Go AFTER that stuff!

    Shit. I learned this lesson when I was 15.

    miscellaneous-image-sexy-walk-butt-gif-s
  • spencoid

    Posts: 21

    Mar 19, 2013 11:00 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidWhat exactly is a "solid set of self confidence."


    When I find somebody I attractive I think there's a possibility that I could get what I want... but my shyness and I think the other guys ego hold the process back.
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    Mar 20, 2013 2:30 AM GMT
    spencoid said
    smartmoney saidWhat exactly is a "solid set of self confidence."


    When I find somebody I attractive I think there's a possibility that I could get what I want... but my shyness and I think the other guys ego hold the process back.


    That's how I feel a lot of the time too, but no one gets anywhere when we play this stupid big ego/have too much pride game.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Mar 20, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    you got to be in it to win it boys
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:19 AM GMT
    You must be looking for 11/10's to be having this "problem"
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:28 AM GMT
    I understand where you're coming from spencoid. I went to a gay bar for the first time in a long time on St. patty's day and I was a little overwhelmed how many good looking, and buff guys were there! I was definitely shy when I got there: just standing against a ledge with my drink, talking to my friends. They were mostly there for me and kept pushing me to talk to someone, but I kept getting nervous. I finally got the balls to talk this cute guy I just happened to pass and we hit it off.

    Lesson learned: Make A LOT of eye contact and make yourself seem approachable and fun. If I ever go back, I'm going to make an effort to talk to talk to an attractive guy at the bar. Wish me luck!
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:55 AM GMT
    spencoid saidHey guys-
    For those of you out there that know you are considered good looking, do you usually use this as a reason to not approach guys?
    I have a solid set of self confidence but it never seems like the guys I'm attracted to approach me. Is it me? Or do I just seem to like guys that like to be chased after rather than chase?



    it never seems like the guys I'm attracted to approach me.

    seems to be a common subject on RJ, i once tried an experiment, a little alcohol may help and your cell phone (as a conversation piece), but said hello to everyone i ran into no matter how attractive or unattractive they were, i just didnt care about the circus going on around me, i was present in the now, for me. The last few partys ive been to, im finally getting guys approaching me when for many years, i always felt i needed to do the approaching while i roll my eyes and wonder if a blowoff is coming, if you exclude yourself from anyone other than the 10+ guys, you prob will continue to have this issue, just act like you dont care and maybe use some humor. Also found that, esp if your in a small town or in a small bar, everyone gets to "know your face" but not necessarily your name and you personally. Big cities come with "blending in", i found that when you visit a city or locale that your face is not known, old saying "fresh meat, lets meet" icon_lol.gif, if your old meat in your city, try travel or start going elsewhere to meet the kinda guys you want to meet, and dont exclude (its already a problem within our community why make it worse) even though everyone wants the good looking ones, true beauty comes from within, work on your heart, mate.

    I always relied on this camp.....so, shop aroundicon_lol.gif
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    Jul 16, 2013 9:11 AM GMT
    I think i know what you mean, when i see a fine man i think of myself as a higher being and I use his hotness as a turn on and motivation for self esteem and savoir faire then i think of someone else sexy who always gets what they want and i approach

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  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Jul 16, 2013 9:24 AM GMT
    On dating apps I don't have to put in the work.. then I get to the club/bar and I'm like "Guys? Guys y u no talk to me!?"
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    Jul 16, 2013 10:24 AM GMT
    Here's what I've come to find out. Guys that are drop-dead gorgeous, amazing bodies, they've had it all! Trust me, if they wanted a jock-twink-bodybuilder, they had it.

    Your job is to show them, indirectly, you're a good time! Show others your personality and if you're looks aren't half bad (clearly they're not in your case) then you'll be golden. At clubs? Show you're having fun with friends, don't drool over them like everyone else, maybe say something casual then introduce yourself, like: "Hey, are you friends with 'so-and-so'? You seem familiar!" Trust me I've talked to the hottest guys in a club, not even for a sexual interest, and they're usually way nicer than you think. They want to be approached, yet no one does it. Kinda like you right now.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Jul 16, 2013 10:33 AM GMT
    I know this sounds a bit dumb, but I can't deal with rejection well at all. I've also heard people saying that they're not into Indians/Asians so many times (not to me, but just seeing it on profiles/threads) that I've gotten a mindset where I just assume that that's the idea people have, so if they instead approach me then at least I knew that might not be the issue.
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    Jul 16, 2013 10:47 AM GMT
    Buddha saidI know this sounds a bit dumb, but I can't deal with rejection well at all. I've also heard people saying that they're not into Indians/Asians so many times (not to me, but just seeing it on profiles/threads) that I've gotten a mindset where I just assume that that's the idea people have, so if they instead approach me then at least I knew that might not be the issue.


    LOL. Don't move to Melbourne.
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    Jul 16, 2013 11:04 AM GMT
    It comes down to fear of rejection really. If your shy on top of that it just makes the matter worse, no matter how good looking you are.

    There are so many attractive men out there at gay bars/ clubs and yet everyone just stands around glaring at each other without actually approaching someone. It's kinda funny actually icon_lol.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2013 11:32 AM GMT
    #FirstGayworldproblems.

    I only approach classy guys/men, not the sake of attractive.You can be unattractive but classy, You win.

    There's a say;

    "You only see what your eyes wants to see."


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    Jul 16, 2013 11:42 AM GMT
    On behalf of the "ok looking" guys, I can say that we do pretty well too. I like to rely on my personality and I have found that humor goes a long way, especially when you can make people laugh without putting anyone down. Many of us will never make it to that noisy club you're in though. It's too loud to hear our personalities in there over all the nipples and cologne lol.
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    Jul 16, 2013 12:37 PM GMT
    It's funny because I used to completely and utterly ignore people who I thought looked attractive.
    It wasn't hard I guess since my natural walking stance is me looking down so I wouldn't really look up much.

    As I got older I stopped caring too much about how someone would perceive me, just people in general.
    Most of the time I'm just lost in my thoughts and my day dreams that I hardly notice my surroundings that much let alone the people in it.

    I just need my ipod with my music and my imagination runs free and I am happily lost in it.
    I am very out of sight, out of mind.
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    Jul 16, 2013 12:47 PM GMT
    NerdMonastery saidIt's funny because I used to completely and utterly ignore people who I thought looked attractive.
    It wasn't hard I guess since my natural walking stance is me looking down so I wouldn't really look up much.

    As I got older I stopped caring too much about how someone would perceive me, just people in general.
    Most of the time I'm just lost in my thoughts and my day dreams that I hardly notice my surroundings that much let alone the people in it.

    I just need my ipod with my music and my imagination runs free and I am happily lost in it.
    I am very out of sight, out of mind.


    Marry me now lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2013 12:55 PM GMT
    I have a problem with waiting too long to approach attractive guys. I try to think of the best conversation opener, and by the time I do, I only have a small window of opportunity before he's gone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 16, 2013 12:55 PM GMT
    Talking to attractive guys?

    I...I can't. Jut not happening. Case closed. Shutting down.