Should you force/change yourself to be in open-relationships?

  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 19, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    Honestly, I've never been in a relationship yet but one thing that always popped up in the back of my head is the situation of "open relationships".

    Now, I know what you are probably thinking at this point but let me just reiterate in saying that I'm not trying to be judgmental or bashing. I just have this question on my mind that I just needed to ask.

    The question is, should I force/change myself to accept that almost every gay/bi man wants an open relationship and that I should follow through on the notion?

    It just seems like it's pretty much the norm and staple in the gay community and it's often one of the main causes that can break a relationship. Right now, if I ever was lucky to get in a relationship, I don't think I could be in an open-relationship. But I guess things change over time. Call me jaded or naive in believing the whole "Disney all love it eternal" thing but I just know that there is at least 105 likeliness that it does happen be it gay or straight.

    But yeah, at the question at hand. All opinions are welcome. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 12:33 AM GMT
    Stick to your guns..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    But don't break the gun laws.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 12:57 AM GMT
    Don't make the assumption that all gay men want an open relationship. There are plenty of us left that still want monogomous relationship with the man we love. More important - don't change your values for someone else. When the time comes and your man wants a "open relationship" knowing how you feel about it, it's time to reevaluate whether he's the man for you.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1114

    Mar 20, 2013 1:25 AM GMT
    Like the above comment! stick to your guns man! unless you want to be like everyone else, then go right ahead!? and please don't believe that notion that most gay men want or secretly wish to be in an open relationship!? even if all the 328,650 gay men on this website were into open relationships, there are millions others in the real world who are or prefer to be in a committed relationship!!

    As for me, as far as I can remember I've been monogamous oriented all my entire life, even in my wilder younger days I was exclusive, in other words only dated or had sex one guy at a time! am I jaded or bitter? absolutely not! perhaps I may have less choices? but I enjoy being along then being in bad company whenever I am single any day!! I don't bother with the drama, mind games, and in being a player; and believe me when I tell you, that having this mindset will made your life sooo much more enjoyable and uncomplicated, not to mention you may well outlive your more wild friends! Life is too beautiful and precious for me to miss out on life's many pleasures!
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3521

    Mar 20, 2013 4:21 PM GMT
    most gay men are jealous bitches. they want you for themselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:29 PM GMT
    You haven't met "every Gay / Bi Man" ...or even most of them. You have no way of knowing what they want.

    Enjoy RL and actually MEET Men and have relationships. You have plenty of time to decide exactly the type of relationship that works for You.

    But without actual experience - it is just a bunch of words and mere speculation...

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    Don't force yourself into anything your uncomfortable with. Right now you want monogamy so stick to those feelings. If down the road you want to be open then that should be because your comfortable with it. Not all gay men are open.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    It is very simple. Only have an open relationship if you both want it. Doesn't it feel right for you? Don't do it. Just be open about it with a partner.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 20, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    You should ask yourself the same question "Dear Abby" (or was it "Ann Landers?), the long time relationship advice newspaper writer, would give out as advice to readers complaining about their mates in life:


    "Are you better off with him.......or without him?"


    Then act accordingly.




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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 5:15 PM GMT
    Yes, you should ALWAYS force yourself to act against your deeply held convictions and principles, especially the good ones.

    Next easy question.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Mar 20, 2013 5:18 PM GMT
    I know a lot of guys who don't want an open relationship. It is rare that I meet someone who is actively in an open relationship with their partner. Don't feel like you have to give in. Have patience. When the right guy comes along you will be glad you waited.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 20, 2013 5:34 PM GMT
    I'm tempted to say only icon_rolleyes.gif but I will resist the temptation.

    Don't worry about it until you have a bf or at least a reasonable prospect. Then, do what is right for the two of you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 20, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    showme saidI'm tempted to say only icon_rolleyes.gif but I will resist the temptation.

    Don't worry about it until you have a bf or at least a reasonable prospect. Then, do what is right for the two of you and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.


    Well thank you for resisting I guess.
    It's just a simple honest question. icon_neutral.gif
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Mar 20, 2013 11:49 PM GMT
    Cash saidYou haven't met "every Gay / Bi Man" ...or even most of them. You have no way of knowing what they want.

    Enjoy RL and actually MEET Men and have relationships. You have plenty of time to decide exactly the type of relationship that works for You.

    But without actual experience - it is just a bunch of words and mere speculation...

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    Yeah I guess.